Everything you know about professional wrestling is wrong. And I’ve come here to show you the error of your ways.
It’s not your fault, mind you.
You’ve been fed a steady diet of multicolored lighting and pyrotechnics and told that it was necessary to hold your short attention span. You’ve been given hour upon hour of backstage skits worthy of a Baptist church puppet show and told it was entertainment.
And you’ve been given a gymnastics exhibition between two so-called main eventers and told it was professional wrestling. So don’t feel too bad; you simply don’t know any better.
That’s where I come in. My job here is to educate you on what professional wrestling once was, and more importantly, what it could be once again.
This isn’t the ranting of some old man, convinced that everything was better back in his day. I’m not here to tell you that Jake Roberts cut a better promo than C.M. Punk (though he could), or that Brad Armstrong was a better wrestler than Daniel Bryan (although he was, and it’s not even close).
I’m here to tell you that what you read in the dirtsheets and message boards is an echo chamber, and that you need to begin thinking for yourselves. Once you learn to do that, you can become a better fan, and a better consumer of pro wrestling. And once you’re a better fan, you can help the people that produce the product become better at what they do.
So take off your fanboy blinders, forget your misguided preconceptions about “five-star matches,” and get ready to be reminded that in every single one of us, somewhere deep inside, it’s still real to us, damnit.
School is in session.