Would Wade Barrett and The Nexus ruin the RAW 900 celebration? (Source: Online World of Wrestling)

The longest running episodic show in television history just hit another milestone, 900 episodes.  The stars of all the WWE brands came together last night on RAW to put on a show for the WWE Universe.  Here’s what went down:

Video Package: RAW has had more episodes than any other show in television history with highlights over the years.

Bret Hart comes out to welcome us to the 900th episode of RAW.  Bret talks about how RAW is going strong because of the fans and then mentions about how he and only one other person still in WWE were at the first episode.  That other person is The Undertaker.

• Bret goes to introduce Taker, but out walks Kane who says that “There is no Undertaker any more… He’s just a man… The man you once knew, he’s like you, weak, feeble, scraggly, over the hill, irreversibly damaged.”  He then teases Bret over Taker putting Shawn Michaels out for good.  Kane tells Bret that Taker took out an icon in HBK, and now he needs to take out one in Bret!  Kane goes for the Chokeslam…

• The Hart Dynasty come out to help, but Kane fends them off.  He heads towards Bret Hart, but the lights go out/on.  Taker is in the ring.  He and Kane have a stare down in the ring.  Kane backs up the ramp and says, “Not yet big brother.”
• An email comes in from the anonymous General Manager that says in honor of the 900th episode of RAW, we need a main even befitting the occasion.  He makes a match between Bret Hart and The Undertaker.

Video Package: Clips from episode #1 (1993) with the original opening.

Video Package: Clips from episode #279 (1998) Stone Cold Steve Austin drives a Zamboni into the arena.

Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty vs. Kaval & Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz & Alex Riley
WINNERS: Miz/Riley via pin fall after Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Kaval

• Post match, Miz attacks Bryan with the Money in the Bank case.

LayCool vs. Melina & Even Torres
WINNER: Melina/Eve via pin fall roll up on Layla (by Melina)

• Post match, LayCool challenge Melina to a title unification match at Night of Champions
• Melina accepts only if it’s a Lumberjack Match.  They say fine.

Video Package: Clips from episode #889 (2010) The Nexus destroys John Cena and the RAW set.

Backstage: Nexus arguing backstage, and reveal that Skip Sheffield has a broken ankle, so now the fat has been trimmed.  Wade Barrett says that they have to do something big tonight to be remembered.

Video Package: Clips from episode #850 (2009) Bob Barker hosts RAW and picks on Chris Jericho.

Backstage: Josh Matthews is with Chris Jericho who cuts him off.  Jericho says that the only reason why he says “he’s the best in the world at what he does” is because it’s true.  He then puts out an ultimatum saying that if he doesn’t win the WWE Title at Night of Champions, he’ll quit the WWE.

John Morrison & R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre
WINNERS: Double DQ as the referee lost control of the match

• Post match, brawl continues and JoMo and Truth stand tall.

Video Package: Clips from episode #867 (2010) Bret Hart returns.  He and Shawn Michaels bury the hatchet after all the years since the “Montreal Screwjob.”

Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker

• Just before the bell rings, Wade Barrett comes out saying that this match isn’t going to happen… People want to talk about the future and that’s The Nexus.  Barrett vows to take out both men and gets in the ring only to be thrown around by Taker.
• Lights out/on, Kane is in the ring.  He and Taker exchange blows.  Taker goozles Kane, lights out/on, Kane’s gone.
• The Nexus surrounds the ring and attack Taker, and Taker holds them off.  Lights out/on.  Taker is on Barrett’s shoulders, Fireman’s Slam followed by Justin Gabriel’s 450 Splash as Kane looks on from the stage with sick joy.

Jack Swagger to the ring with the mic and gloats about returning to RAW as a conquering hero.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
WINNER: Swagger via submission due to the Ankle Lock

• Mid match, Alberto Del Rio comes out to ringside.
• Post match, Del Rio cuts a promo on Rey Mysterio saying that his fans won’t see him tonight unless they visit him in the hospital.  He’s disappointed though because the RAW fans didn’t get to see what he did to Rey, so he decides to show them on Evan Bourne.  He locks on the Cross Arm Breaker and then goes to put his arm inside a chair to slam it into the ring post when Mark Henry comes out to knock the chair out of his hands.  Del Rio backs up the ramp.

Video Package: Clips from WWE’s first ever trip to China.

Video Package: Clips from episode #331 (1999) Mick Foley throws a “This is your life” segment for The Rock.

CM Punk & The Straightedge Society (Luke Gallows & Joey Mercury) to the ring.  Punk says that he’s better than the rock because he doesn’t make crappy movies like Tooth Fairy… He says that he doesn’t miss The Rock because he epitomizes this ceptic tank of a show with poor family values… even goes on to mention the Katie Vick situation…

• Punk shows his four most atrocious moments.

1. Episode #824 (2009) Triple H breaks into Randy Orton’s house to attack him.
2. Episode #691 (?) John Cena throws Edge into a body of water.
3. Episode #257 (1998) DX fires the first shot on WCW to start the Monday Night War.
4. Episode #304 (1995) Stone Cold hoses down Vince McMahon with a beer truck; Repeated in episode #754 by Austin on Santino Marella.

• Punk teases about Austin coming out there and spraying him down with the beer truck, and then Austin’s music hits… Punk acts scared and then starts laughing… It’s a trick.
• Punk shows one more clip, this one from episode #199 of Smackdown when Brock Lesnar Superplexed Big Show off the top rope and the ring broke.  CM Punk makes a fat joke.
• Big Show interrupts and is upset that all Punk could come up with was a fat joke.  Big Show does an impression of Hulk Hogan and then slaps Punk in the chest.  Gallows becomes the sacrificial lamb for Show as Punk and Mercury run.

Video Package: Clips from episode #450 (2002) Triple H returns from a major injury and destroys Kurt Angle.

Josh Matthews on the ramp and introduces Sheamus.  Asks about Night of Champions, but Sheamus goes right into talking about how Triple H isn’t here to celebrate because he took him out.  Sheamus then bitches about how he has to defend his title at Night of Champions in a Six Pack Challenge and then vents about having to tag with Randy Orton tonight.

• Edge interrupts.  Informs Sheamus that tons of crazy things have happened to him over the years, but the key thing is that he’s given it back three times as much.  Says he’s going to win the Six Pack Challenge and become WWE Champion.  Tells Sheamus to “head back to the lab, Beaker!”

Elimination Tag Team Match
The Nexus vs. Randy Orton, Edge, Sheamus, Chris Jericho & John Cena
WINNERS: Nexus via eliminating their opponents; Final fall Barrett hits Orton with Fireman’s Slam for pin

QUICK THOUGHTS:

It was really great to see all the old clips from the past RAW episodes, but for me this was a pretty lackluster show.  There wasn’t anything overly exciting about it, and I’m shocked that it wasn’t a three hour extravaganza.

When they announced the Taker vs. Hart match, I figured it wasn’t going to actually happen because it’s WWE and Bret Hart is in no shape to actually wrestle.  Part of me thinks he’s there because he’s hard up for cash, but then again who isn’t right now in this economy.

Another great booking of Alberto Del Rio.  He has no care for anyone else but himself and interrupts a match to cut a promo on Rey Mysterio.  Just brilliant.  He’s got more heat now.  It’s only been two plus weeks and he’s got a ton of heat.

***FLAIR FOR THE GOLD***

In WCW, they had a talk show segment called Flair for the Gold hosted by Ric Flair.  At the time, WCW was teasing the debut of an epic new competitor called The Shockmaster, but unfortunately for WCW, it lost it’s luster when he lost his head… (at approx 3:30)

***GILLBERG!!!  GILLBERG!!!***

After the hype in WCW of Goldberg, WWF wanted to capitalize on the excitement… Well not really, they wanted to poke fun at WCW, so they created the character Gillberg who was essentially a cruiserweight look-a-like.  They even had a pyro-spectacular for him!  Oh, and don’t forget the catchphrase to match his in ring prowess…

***KNOW YOUR ROLE JABRONI!***

One of my favorite funny moments in WWE history was when DX did a parody of The Nation of Domination.  I miss the Attitude Era!

***LACEY’S HOT, BUT NOT TOO BRIGHT!***

This clip just caught my attention the other day.  We all know Lacey Von Erich is hot as hell, but she’s not all there upstairs.  Well, she actually got booked outside of TNA, and in this clip she was going to do a moonsault off the top rope and she screws up.  Unfortunately for her, it was before the match even started.  You might have to blame her opponent, but I don’t get why you’d do this before a match.

***SABOTCHAMANIA!!!***

This list wouldn’t be complete with a few big botches by a big name.  When it comes to botches, there’s no bigger name than former ECW superstar Sabu.  He’s constantly taking risks and giving us cringe worthy moments in and out of the ring.

Have a great April Fool’s Day everyone!  Don’t get punked today!  Stay sharp!