WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 13

Raw, Source: WWE.com

Raw was in Detroit this week as the Road to WrestleMania continued. Brock Lesnar kicked things off, plus Roman Reigns responded to the Undertaker.

Previously on WWE Raw, the fallout from Fastlane dominated the show. And that fallout led to the WrestleMania card taking shape. Chris Jericho challenged Kevin Owens to a match at WrestleMania 33. KO accepted, provided the United States Championship be up for grabs.

There was also an in-ring confrontation between Brock Lesnar and new Universal Champion Goldberg. To date, Goldberg has been Lesnar’s kryptonite – The Beast hasn’t figured out a way to stop him. But last week, Lesnar stood tall, after a surprise F5 put the champ down.

In other news, The Undertaker made his return to Raw. Braun Strowman made his way to the ring to call out Roman Reigns, but instead got The Dead Man. After Strowman left the ring silently, Reigns came out and stated this was his yard now. Taker’s response? A glare at the WrestleMania sign, followed by a big chokeslam. Earlier today, the match between Reigns and Taker at WrestleMania was made official.

Tonight’s episode of Raw is taking place at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. It’s the final episode to air in the building, so perhaps something special will take place. Of course, I attended the final episode of Raw at the old Nassau Coliseum back in 2015, and nothing happened, so I’m not holding my breath.

Related Story: WWE WrestleMania 33: Updated Match Card, Post March 6 Raw

Announced for this week is a number one contenders match for the Tag Team Championship. Cesaro and Sheamus will take on Enzo Amore and Big Cass. We also know that Brock Lesnar will kick things off, so let’s get to it…

Brock Lesnar In The House

The standard Brock Lesnar appearance formula was in full effect tonight. Music hits, pyro, Lesnar comes out and shadowboxes in the ring while Paul Heyman promotes his upcoming fight. It’s like a dinner of macaroni and cheese – it hits the spot, even if it’s not breaking any new ground. And it’s kind of cheesy, too, but that’s not always a bad thing.

I’m convinced Paul Heyman could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. Say what you will about him, the man is passionate about the things he cares for. Brock Lesnar matches are right up there. So there’s a lot of play with the crowd and their “GOLDBERG” chants, thumbs down gestures, and yet another catchphrase: Down Goes Goldberg.

Meanwhile, Brock hops up and down with a game face on. The match between Goldberg and Lesnar at WrestleMania needs next to no promotion. Nothing can diminish the spectacle it’s sure to be, and for its intended audience, you can’t hype it much further. It is what it is.

Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon Address Tension Between Them

The Draft was nearly eight months ago, with Foley being named the general manager some time before that. Why has it taken so long for Stephanie to realize that she has to supervise him? Some business mind, there, I’ll tell you.

So Stephanie’s big plan to get Mick to understand business is to force him to pick someone to fire. Her rationale is that his strength is his passion for each superstar on the Raw roster, which clouds his business sense. Okay, fine, I’ll bite.

My clock right now reads 8:15 pm, New York time. I swear I will not change the following sentence by the time the episode ends:

Mick will choose to fire himself.

At the end of the night, we’ll see how I did. But I think he’ll choose to fall on the axe because of how he feels about the superstars – especially three weeks before WrestleMania. He knows that if that’s what his job comes down to, he’s not capable, which means he’s gotta go.

Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley) vs. Dana Brooke (w/ Charlotte Flair)

Result: Sasha Banks defeated Dana Brooke via pinfall

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Well, that was something. At very least, we get a reprieve from Raw Women’s Division Theater.

It was a little strange, to have Bayley accompany Sasha to the ring. I get it, since everyone knew that Charlotte would accompany Dana to the ring. And the match was borne out of a backstage conversation between Charlotte and Dana earlier in the day. Since it was uploaded to WWE’s YouTube channel, both Sasha and Bayley knew what was up.

But Dana fails at keeping Sasha from WrestleMania, which was the plan going in. Bayley was a non-factor in the match, so there was no point in having her out there. The match was very short, but a little sloppy – Sasha’s meteora knee strike was a bit funky in particular.

After the match, Dana Brooke finally had enough of Charlotte having enough of her and attacked The Queen. Part of me was hoping that Charlotte would get the upper hand, bringing Emma out for the save, but no such luck.

I question the logic of giving Charlotte yet another foe so close to WrestleMania. Is Dana getting added to the title match? What about Nia Jax? Whoever is in charge of booking the Women’s Division right now needs to clear their head and rethink things.

Eric LeGrand To Receive Warrior Award

The good thing about the Warrior Award is that a prior connection with WWE doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite. LeGrand’s story is truly inspiring, and to get the opportunity to speak to a wider audience at the Hall of Fame induction is great for him.

TJ Perkins & Akira Tozawa vs. The Brian Kendrick & Tony Nese

Result: The Brian Kendrick & Tony Nese defeated TJ Perkins & Akira Tozawa via pinfall

Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars

The cruiserweight renaissance continues in the first purple rope segment. Tozawa has been the top performer of the division in recent weeks. Kendrick has been doing solid work as a foil for Tozawa. Perkins has the clout of winning the CWC last summer working for him. And, uh, Tony Nese has lots of abs?

Snark aside, this tag match was pretty good. It wasn’t a Match of the Year type segment, but it was the kind of action that this episode sorely needed by this point. After a Heyman/Lesnar opener that was so short we had time to cut to the McMahon-Foley hour, then a women’s match that lasted all of three minutes, the dial needed to go to 11.

It was a good showcase for all four superstars ahead of their match tomorrow night on 205 Live. There, of course, they’ll lose in the fatal five way to Austin Aries, so getting time to shine tonight is a bonus.

The great thing about the recent 205 Live segments on Raw is that you can start to hear the crowd wanting to care about the action. This match skewed a bit more towards typical WWE-style than Swann/Neville last week, but it had enough “flippy stuff” to discern it. If this pattern continues, by SummerSlam the cruiserweights will be on fire.

Gallows & Anderson Address Their “Competition”

Spoiler Alert: They don’t think they have any competition. Shocking!

Kevin Owens In The Spotlight

I absolutely love the trademark spotlight for KO. It’s quickly becoming his signature, which will help him continue to stand out and establish himself in the main event scene.

And while he’s in that spotlight, Owens just reaffirms that he’s (kayfabe) the worst human being on the face of the earth. From a moralistic point of view, there’s no redeeming quality to anything he says. He’s delusional (Goldberg didn’t beat me! Jericho did!). He’s an objectively horrible friend – just ask Sami Zayn or Chris Jericho.

Whenever the camera cuts to a closeup shot of Owens, you can almost feel the chill in the air. His eyes are just full of hatred for any person in front of him.

It’s telling, though, that no matter what, Owens can’t help putting down Sami Zayn. Granted, they’re on opposite sides of a match right now, but still. Even more telling is that Owens is so vile a person because he’s insecure. “I stabbed Jericho in the back before he could stab me in mine”? Wow, that’s sad.

Does this mean Owens thought Sami would turn on him at some point, too? Is that why he annihilated him in NXT (and ever since)? It really makes you think.

Kevin Owens & Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn & Chris Jericho

Result: Sami Zayn & Chris Jericho defeated Kevin Owens & Samoa Joe via disqualification

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

The dynamic in this match was absolutely perfect. Owens wants nothing to do with either of his former friends until Samoa Joe gets his hands on them first. Joe is, after all, The Destroyer – he’s there to soften people up for KO.

After Joe does his thing, Owens finally gets in the ring to pick the bones of Sami Zayn. Because KO is the worst person on the face of the earth, all he can do is taunt Jericho. When was the last time you saw someone get so into the head of Y2J? But a “Come On Baby” cocky pin attempt, and Jericho’s completely out of the match.

Sami, though, is so used to being up against crazy odds it doesn’t faze him to be down 2-on-1. He gets Triple H’s lackeys outside the ring and goes for his tope con giro – only to tweak his knee, like last week. Hey, Sami – maybe stop doing that?

The worst part of the match was the finish, a WWE-patented “I said one in, one out, you’re disqualified” ref stoppage. Owens is too much of a jerk to stop stomping the life out of Sami – an injured Sami, no less. The ref tries to get him out of the ring since Joe was the legal man, but a continued double team led to the DQ.

It sounded like the crowd had the same thought I did during the post-match beatdown: Where’s Finn? Balor returned to action this weekend at a live event in Buffalo. He teamed with Sami Zayn and Chris Jericho. They faced Triple H, Kevin Owens, and Samoa Joe. The opportunity was there, but missed.

Nia Jax Asserts Herself; Jinder Shoots Self In Foot

Here we have the agony of Foley looking at the roster, further proof that he’s going to fire himself tonight. In comes Nia Jax, who wants “justice” for someone she hurt being rewarded with a title match she earned. It’s weird. But Stephanie just can’t help making Mick Foley the least effective man in WWE, so Nia gets a match against Bayley tonight. Somehow, she’ll end up in the WrestleMania title match.

Foley needs to clear his head, so he goes for a walk. He’s stopped by Jinder Mahal, who’s (rightly) worried he may be on the chopping block. He wants to prove himself. Because Foley knows what the people want, he makes Jinder vs. Roman Reigns for later tonight.

New… Day Talks

In the immortal words of Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap: Oh, boy.

Things are getting weird with the New Day. And that’s saying something, because things are always weird with New Day. This talk show segment was like the living embodiment of hyperactivity.

I’m going to take you guys behind the scenes here at Daily DDT for a minute. Usually, when I write these reviews, I do it as the show is airing. I’ll jot some bullet points down if things are going by too quick, then I use the commercial breaks to fill in the gaps. But this train wreck of a segment? I had to sit on it and wait before writing it up. I watched the whole thing with my jaw agape.

Honestly, I’m having a hard time even figuring out how to approach this one. I liked Big E’s glasses and mannerisms! He’s got amazing charisma, and every time he gets the chance to let it shine through it’s entertaining.

But a segment longer than some of the matches on the card meant to promote a Jetsons movie, and set up a match based on said movie? Seems like a poorly thought out idea.

And I know I said something to this effect last week, but it bears repeating: Can’t wait for four hours of this at WrestleMania!

Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus

Result: No Contest due to interference

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Cesaro starting this one off without messing around is how any Cesaro match should start. Bell ring, flying Swiss guy, ATTACK.

It’s not a bad match, but it was as predictable as an M. Night Shyamalan movie having a twist. Cesaro did some superhuman stuff, Sheamus was a hoss, Cass was perfectly serviceable, and Enzo was Cass’s weapon.

For the majority of the match, Gallows and Anderson were shown backstage watching on the monitor. With the winners of this match heading into a tag title match at WrestleMania, it was understandable for the champs to be scouting.

After a while, though, the predictability of the match must have frustrated The Club, who came to ringside and attacked everyone. Equal opportunity, I guess. But this results in the match being a no contest. Enzo takes a wicked Gallows superkick to the face, and Cesaro was the recipient of a Magic Killer.

As The Club celebrated a job well done backstage, they ran into an irate Mick Foley. (I’m telling you, he’s firing himself!) He makes the (shocking) announcement that no winners doesn’t mean no competition. At WrestleMania, it’ll be a triple threat match for the Raw Tag Team Titles.

Jinder Mahal vs. Roman Reigns

Result: Roman Reigns defeated Jinder Mahal via pinfall

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

If I told you that Jinder Mahal would control the majority of the match against Roman Reigns, most of you would ask what I was smoking. But that’s exactly what happened tonight.

Jinder looked, well, I don’t want to say good, but he looked better than usual. That’s a positive, right? He got some help from a well-placed gong, which distracted Roman.

After Roman was on the receiving end of some stiff punches and kicks, he countered with a pair of Superman punches for the victory. Poor Jinder doesn’t even get to eat a spear. Then Reigns calls out the Undertaker… and we cut to commercial.

Back from break, Roman is waiting patiently for the Dead Man to show up. But instead, we get a visit from Mr. WrestleMania himself, Shawn Michaels. Allow me to point out that “Mr. WrestleMania” has a 6-11 record all-time at Mania. But I digress.

Shawn decides to tell Reigns that if the Undertaker has already gotten into his head, Reigns doesn’t stand a chance at Mania. Roman’s response? For all intents and purposes, it was “I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?”

Reigns is ticked off because everyone thinks he should be scared. He wants to know why no one is asking the Undertaker what he thinks about getting into the ring with Reigns. Michaels tries to tell him that a Taker match is no walk in the park, but reigns doesn’t need to hear it. Michaels got retired by Taker, and – bombshell alert – Reigns is going to retire Taker. That’s big. It’s the first time to my recollection that anyone in kayfabe has really mentioned Undertaker being retired. He seems like the kind of guy who would just disappear, rather than “officially” retire. But that seems to be where this is going.

Well, provided Reigns can walk after getting obliterated by Braun Strowman. That was intense!

Austin Aries vs. Ariya Daivari

Result: Austin Aries defeated Ariya Daivari via pinfall

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

A victory over Tony Nese last week on 205 Live was Austin’s official return to the ring. But when it comes to Raw, if it don’t happen on Monday night, it didn’t happen. So Aries takes on Daivari in his first appearance on Raw without doing commentary.

It’s not a bad match, but in terms of in-ring action it’s a step back for the 205 Live crew. I hate to say that, because Aries is likely the most popular and well-known of the cruiserwieghts. But since this was a glorified squash match, it automatically seems less exciting than a solid back and forth affair.

The big story here is just proving that Aries is fit for action after his eye injury. So the little bit of offense Daivari can muster is eye based. Aries bounces back, nearly kills Daivari with a belly to back suplex, then hits a rolling elbow for the win.

Between the tag match earlier and the Aries victory here, there’s plenty of hype and focus for 205 Live this week. The cruiserweights have been given a spot on the WrestleMania card, and it’s hard to imagine a match besides Aries vs. Neville. Aries certainly looks ready to go based on his in-ring work so far.

Big Show vs. Titus O’Neil

Result: Big Show defeated Titus O’Neil via pinfall

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

The theme for tonight’s Raw seems to be, “Lots of Matches, Little Bit of Time.” I’m not sitting here with a stopwatch or anything, but with few exceptions all the matches thus far have been around 5 minutes or less.

To put it into perspective, this match was the seventh on the episode. Seven matches on a single episode of Raw, with more coming. There are times when a three hour episode of Raw in its entirety only has four matches. Since it’s a common complaint from some fans that there’s not enough wrestling on the wrestling show, tonight seems like a “be careful what you wish for” moment.

It’s squash match central here, as Big Show continues to jut chokeslam people into oblivion. It started with Rusev at Fastlane, and continues here. Not sure what the end game is, other than making Show look like a monster again before he hangs his boots up for good.

Chris Jericho, Meet “Tom Phillips”

Jericho continues to kill it. No one is better at shoehorning in catchphrases where they don’t belong. And poor Mike Rome. You may as well just head back to NXT, and let Charly Caruso handle the backstage interviews here on Raw.

But aside from “Tom Phillips” making the list, Jericho also announced a special edition of The Highlight Reel for next week. His guest will be the “real” Kevin Owens, and now I’m picturing the two Doinks in the mirror at WrestleMania IX.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Result: Bayley defeated Nia Jax due to disqualification

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Earlier in the night, Bayley and Sasha Banks were talking about this match. Bayley was nervous, and Sasha said she needed to win this one for the haters who are using the “controversy” to lessen Bayley’s championship reign. Uh, I guess she reads my reviews? I’M NOT A HATER, SASHA, I SWEAR!

Anyway, Bayley looked understandably confused by that statement. Sasha is her sister, right? It looks like The Boss may be one of those questioning things. But that can’t be, can it?

When this match gets under way, it’s all Nia early on. She was destroying everything in sight – Bayley, the ring steps, the crowd reaction, you name it. The destruction was so intense that it led to another excessive punishment disqualification on this episode of Raw. Aside from it being a lame finish, it’s an overused finish just in this episode!

I hate sounding like a broken record but what’s the endgame here? The way Nia assaulted Bayley basically from bell to bell should put her into the title match at WrestleMania. But will it? Is Nia ready for a Mania match? Granted, a four-way is a lot easier to “hide” someone, but is it too soon? And where was Sasha when Nia attacked Bayley after the match? Some sister.

Source: WWE.com

Who Did Foley Fire?

WrestleMania 33 is being billed as The Ultimate Thrill Ride. Clearly, this segment is the blueprint, because this was the biggest roller coaster of feelings WWE has produced in a long time. Let’s unpack this a bit.

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First, I’ll admit that I was wrong about Foley falling on his sword. By choosing to “fire” Stephanie, though, the spirit of my prediction was there – he could not bring himself to get rid of any of “his” superstars. But I was still wrong, and I’ll own up to it.

As for the meat of Foley’s argument, well, I don’t understand how it could take over six months to figure out that Stephanie is a two-faced liar. She’s literally the same character she’s been since first aligning with Triple H in the Attitude Era. Not a damn thing has changed. But here’s Mick to solve the puzzle!

Of course, mentioning any of Triple H’s crew by name nowadays brings that guy out. Sami Zayn has summoned Samoa Joe numerous times, KO is always lurking and waiting to hurt someone, and now Foley mentions The Game and here he comes. It’s the worst kind of Triple H appearance, too – the one where he’s got to go all inside baseball for everyone. I get that kayfabe is mostly dead, but mostly dead is slightly alive.

Because WrestleMania 33 is clearly taking place in a wormhole where it’s 1999, Triple H and Mick Foley have to get physical to promote things. Foley breaks out Mr. Socko, because if he hits a double arm DDT his hip will probably disintegrate. A low blow from Stephanie saves Triple H, because Women’s History Month maybe?

Once things calm down a bit, Seth Rollins limps down to the ring to make the save. Finally, something interesting is happening. Say what you will about Seth Rollins, but the slow reveal that he doesn’t really need the crutch was pretty cool, even if greatly telegraphed.

And he initially gets the upper hand on Triple H! That’s good! Throwing all sorts of kicks with the bad leg, he gets Hunter running scared. But he goads him back into the ring and that’s when it all goes to hell.

When Triple H gets back into the ring, he brings Seth’s discarded crutch with him, and uses it to “reinjure” the bad leg. It’s so unnecessary, and the show could have and should have ended with Seth pointing at the Mania sign. Why did Triple H not only need to get his heat back, but get it back immediately? What is it, an Alberto Del Rio victory over Kalisto?

So it looks like Rollins/Triple H is a go for Mania, which is the biggest positive to take out of this. Out of all the initially rumored WrestleMania matches from months ago, this was the one with the most potential to be a show-stealer.

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What did you think of this week’s Raw?