WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for December 25

Photo Source: WWE.com

Need to know what happened on Christmas Day’s episode of WWE Raw? Find out right here.

Previously on WWE Raw, Seth Rollins wrestled for like half the show. Dean Ambrose got hurt. Hideo Itami made a surprise debut. Brock Lesnar got two opponents for Royal Rumble. And Stephanie McMahon made sure she was the most important person on the show when she announced the first ever women’s Royal Rumble match.

This week, you’ll probably notice that this is not a live updating review of Raw. Sorry, folks, but a live broadcast of Raw on Christmas Day? Not going to happen. Once the guests all leave my house, I can sit down, relax, and subject myself to three hours of WWE’s alleged finest before hitting the hay.

Heading into this final Raw of 2017, we knew John Cena would make his return to the show. Cena hasn’t been seen on Monday nights since losing to Roman Reigns at No Mercy back in September. And the free agent had a “thanks for stopping by” moment at Survivor Series as a member of Team SmackDown. But with WWE looking to get eyes on the product on a major holiday, Cena is the ace in the hole.

And that’s all we actually know about this week’s episode before it starts. WWE is obviously playing things close to the vest for the holiday. Will Roman Reigns defend the Intercontinental Championship? What’s next for Bray Wyatt and Woken Matt Hardy? Are any returns or debuts forthcoming?

Related Story: Bold Predictions: A Merry Christmas from the WWE Universe?

Let’s get right into this week’s action on WWE Raw with John Cena starting things off.

Battle of the Vocalists

Right off the bat, let’s get the crowd analysis out of the way. Not only are we dealing with a live show on Christmas Day, we’re doing so in Chicago. Oh, boy. Of all the cities in WWE’s normal travel loops, the Windy Apple probably has the craziest crowd. And using the descriptor “craziest” is probably the nicest way I can say the fans are maniacs. For the most part, they weren’t awful tonight, but there were definitely some questionable moments.

The opening promo segment was what usually happens these days with John Cena. He gets a ton of boos, does something nice and/or cool, then the boos turn to cheers. This week, he literally gave the shirt off his back to a young fan with special needs. Aw, it’s dusty in here. Even Chicago had to give props for that.

But then Elias interrupted, because Elias is the absolute best thing going on right now. I mean, he says WWE stands for “Walk With Elias.” Absolutely brilliant. I mean, anyone who’s ever watched Raw knows exactly how this is going to end, but let’s enjoy it while we can.

Elias does a terrific job of acknowledging and deflecting the totally expected CM Punk chants. Cena, of course, being terrible babyface Cena, has to be a jerk about it – then call Elias a jerk! The nerve! Elias rightfully gets ticked off, punches Cena in the face, and a match is on.

Elias vs. John Cena

Result: John Cena defeated Elias via pinfall

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: John Cena faces some sort of adversity. He’s attacked before the match, or he’s facing some kind of handicap, or whatever. Despite the odds, Cena overcomes them. It’s kind of his trademark.

So guess what happens in this opening match? Elias punches Cena in the face with a sneak attack. A match is made while Cena is still lying flat on his back. The bell rings as he staggers to his knees, and Elias takes full advantage of the situation. For much of the match, it was all Elias, who even managed to avoid the infamous Five Moves of Doom sequence.

But wait, those are odds for Cena to overcome! And overcome them he did, just like anyone could have predicted. No matter how worn down Cena was, Elias couldn’t keep the 16-time world champ down for the three count. And STF by Cena worked as a momentum shifter, and eventually an Attitude Adjustment ended things.

Regardless of the outcome, Elias got in the ring with John Cena and looked darn good in doing so. There’s great things on the horizon in 2018 for Elias, and losing to a superstar of Cena’s caliber shouldn’t be seen as a “burial,” as I’m sure I’ll eventually read on Twitter.

Christmastime is Here

Kurt Angle takes some time out from trimming the tree to force his son Jason Jordan to team up with Seth Rollins in a tag title match later in the evening. Two things: What a team, and why is Kurt only decorating his tree right now? The presents get left under the tree on Christmas morning, this should be done already.

Roman Reigns enters, and we learn that he will face Samoa Joe in an Intercontinental Championship match later on.

The Brian Kendrick (w/ Jack Gallagher) vs. Hideo Itami

Result: Hideo Itami defeated The Brian Kendrick via pinfall

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

This match was fast, stiff, and bloody. Merry Christmas!

In the pre-match promo, Kendrick and Gallagher – well, just Kendrick, but I guess he was speaking for Gallagher, too – points out that Hideo Itami isn’t the only one who deserves respect. Kendrick is, after all, a former Cruiserweight Champion. The belt may be fairly new, but it’s still a title in WWE.

Personally, I think Itami is letting out a bit of frustration with how his career under the WWE banner has gone thus far. His strikes have always been pretty stiff, but now on the main roster, they’re even more cringe inducing. Kendrick seems up for taking the punishment, but the exposed knee on the GTS caught a little more flush than everyone was expecting.

Surprisingly, the GTS didn’t get too big a reaction from the pro-Punk crowd. Maybe the smarks were out in full force to tell everyone, “Well, actually, KENTA – sorry, Hideo – invented the move, so it’s okay.”

Merry Mizmas

Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel celebrate Mizmas as only they can – serenading fellow superstars with Mizmas carols. “Joy to the World,” but Miz themed? I’m all in for that. And I myself own a half dozen ugly Christmas sweaters, so I’m all for the wardrobe choices. I don’t know why Bayley, Mickie James, and Sasha Banks were so apathetic to the music. Hopefully it was just their upcoming match.

Absolution (Paige, Mandy Rose, & Sonya Deville) vs. Bayley, Mickie James, & Sasha Banks

Result: Absolution defeated Bayley, Mickie James, & Sasha Banks via pinfall

Rating:

Last week, these two teams faced off in the main event. It quickly devolved into a chaotic mess, ended in a disqualification, and Stephanie McMahon saved the day by being the best thing in the women’s division and announcing the first ever women’s Royal Rumble. (Can you detect the heavy sarcasm in that sentence? I’m trying to lay it on super thick.)

In a rematch here, Sasha Banks spends much of the match getting the stuffing kicked out of her. She took a particularly brutal lariat on the ringside floor from Sonya Deville that put her in a bad way. Exceptional team work by Absolution kept Sasha in trouble, isolated from her partners.

It’s great to see an Absolution match actually get to have a finish, since the actual trios matches they’ve participated in have been cut short or not started. Getting through this one and looking impressive in doing so helps the group establish itself as not only opportunistic, but a legit threat when the playing field is level.

The Bayley hot tag was tremendous – and Paige gets a lot of credit for selling the fast paced offense like a champ. Rose and Deville saving Paige after a Bayley to Belly suplex triggered a brawl outside the ring. Once back inside, Paige connected with the Rampaige for an impressive – and clean – victory.

Samoa Joe Doesn’t Care For Your Concern

Real jerk move by Joe, insinuating Dean Ambrose is at home with his loved ones for the holidays – while being interviewed by Dean’s wife Renee Young. Hell 101, baby – being a jerk is okay.

But Joe has no remorse for contributing to an injury that could keep Ambrose out of action for nine months. Man, what a jerk. (He’s so good at what he’s doing, I love it.)

Kane vs. Heath Slater (w/ Rhyno)

Result: Kane defeated Heath Slater via pinfall

Rating: 1.75 out of 5 stars

Slater and Rhyno were told last week that they need to toughen up to ensure they stick around. So Rhyno – in a classic ECW-style promo – explains that he’s going to toughen up Slater, who is the man on the team in need of toughening up.

The plan? Go up against Kane, who’s getting set for the Universal Championship triple threat match at Royal Rumble. Kane has been standing toe to toe with Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar as of late. I don’t think Heath Slater is striking any fear into the heart of the Big Red Machine.

Rhyno does his best to coach Heath through the match, but it’s to no avail. a five minute match saw Kane dominate for four minutes. A brief Slater comeback went nowhere, and a big chokeslam put the father of the year away for the three count.

Rhyno came in to save his partner, eventually attacking Kane. Kane went for a chokeslam, but Rhyno escaped and resumed his attack. An attempted Gore turned into a chokeslam by Kane, who left with his eyes on the Rumble.

I hope something comes of this Slater and Rhyno story. They are being booked as poorly on Raw as they were booked well on SmackDown Live. Cycle them into this tag team title loop against Cesaro and Sheamus, Rollins and Ambrose Jordan, or even Gallows and Anderson. Just don’t stop getting them on TV.

Curt Hawkins vs. Finn Balor

Result: Finn Balor defeated Curt Hawkins via pinfall

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Hey, Curt Hawkins is back on Raw! It’s a Festivus miracle!

Hawkins is in the midst of a 147 match losing streak. But I’m sure he’s ready to turn things around. You know how I know? Like Hawkins, I’m a Mets fan. Back when I was a mere youth, the Mets had a pitcher named Anthony Young. From May 1992 to July 1993, Young lost 27 consecutive games, a record in Major League Baseball that still stands to this day. But even AY was able to pull out a W after more than a year.

Obviously, Hawkins is no Anthony Young. Any day now, he’ll get a favorable matchup, and he’ll get that elusive victory, and the crowd will go nuts. Unfortunately for Hawkins, though, his open challenge tonight was answered by the first ever Universal Champion in WWE history – Finn Balor.

Balor has really fallen on hard times as of late, hasn’t he? He went from potentially challenging for the Universal Championship in the early summer, to a phenomenal match against AJ Styles, to, uh, feuding with a Miz-less Miztourage, to now beating the impossible to lose to Curt Hawkins? He wins in short order, but he needs some kind of higher stakes match and soon.

Five Golden Mizmas Rings

Dallas and Axel are back to sing another Mizmas carol, this time to Goldust. They then gift him with a DVD copy of Santa’s Little Helper, starring The Miz! What a great gift.

Goldust doesn’t seem appreciative, and immediately regifts it to Titus O’Neil and Titus Worldwide. Ingrate!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No, seriously. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA is literally everything you need to know about this segment. It’s kind of a downer, after last week’s installment of the Woken Universe was a major improvement over the repetitive nature of the first two weeks.

But tonight, it’s a big step backward. Bray Wyatt gives a bit of a speech backstage before proclaiming, “I’m here.” He makes his way to the ring in the darkness, as is his custom. When he extinguished his lantern, he was jumped from behind by Matt Hardy. Ok, color me intrigued.

All that happened, though, was a brief skirmish before Wyatt escaped out of the ring and hightailed it up the ramp. And that’s where the weirdness started. Hardy grabbed a mic, and just laughed maniacally/sadistically/stupidly for like a minute straight. And then everything was over.

What. The. Heck.

Clearly, WWE wanted the Broken characters just for the notoriety attached to the gimmick. It had good press and a favorable reputation among the wrestling community. But this is not what the Broken character is all about. This wasn’t Broken, this was idiocy – huge difference.

Give me Senor Benjamin, Queen Rebecca, Skaarsgard, and Vanguard1. This is just not what we all know and love. DELETE IT.

Cesaro and Sheamus Exchange Gifts

The chemistry between these guys is one of the biggest success stories of 2017. From all indications, they were barely friends before teaming together. Now they’re doing comedy segments backstage like a regular Rowan and Martin. It’s great.

Not the material – that’s awful. I mean, making fun of a family on Christmas Day is kind of gross. But at least The Bar are heels – if Ambrose and Rollins did this for cheers, it would be despicable.

Enzo Amore, Drew Gulak, & Ariya Daivari vs. Cedric Alexander, Akira Tozawa, & Mustafa Ali

Result: Cedric Alexander, Akira Tozawa, & Mustafa Ali defeated Enzo Amore, Drew Gulak, & Ariya Daivari via pinfall

Rating: 2.75 out of 5 stars

In the annual “Miracle on 34th Street Fight,” all bets are off. Candy Kendo Sticks, Christmas trees, gift boxes, cookie trays – whatever you can find can be a weapon. It’s kind of a WWE tradition at this point.

The big story here is next week’s singles match between Alexander and Enzo for the Cruiserweight Championship. For most of the match here, Enzo tried to avoid Cedric, only getting briefly cornered near the end. Drew Gulak saved his mentor, because he’s a good man and has integrity. But Enzo wouldn’t do the same, Gulak got smacked with a Candy Kendo Stick, and Cedric hit the Lumbar Check on Daivari for the win.

Ali had a good showing, as has become normal for him. The Chicago native clearly got a rise out of performing in front of his hometown crowd, as there was even more pep in his step than usual. If Cedric wasn’t lining up for a title match next week, I’d say it was surprising that Ali didn’t pick up the pinfall. But this was a nice little match.

Extra credit, as has also become normal, goes to Drew Gulak. First off, his elf costume was adorable. Second, when Enzo spelled out SAWFT, you could see Drew spelling along, but he spelled it SOFT. The man is a national treasure, and I can’t say that enough.

After the match, Enzo is walking around dejectedly backstage when he encounters Nia Jax and some conveniently placed mistletoe. Hot damn, it’s about time!

But Alexa Bliss ruins the moment by needing her best friend for gossip. Total heel move.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

Roman Reigns (c) vs. Samoa Joe

Result: Samoa Joe defeated Roman Reigns via disqualification; Roman Reigns retains title

Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars

Perhaps it’s because the title was on the line, maybe it’s that both guys are tremendous wrestlers. Or maybe it’s just that most of the other matches to this point were kind of lame. Whatever the reason, though, Reigns vs. Joe was one of the matches that would be in the running for best of the night.

Prior to the match, you kind of got some foreshadowing as to how this one would end. Reigns gave an interview to Renee Young, and he told her, “If you hurt one of my brothers, I’m gonna hurt you.” Samoa Joe was part of the attack that is causing Dean Ambrose to miss several months with an arm injury. Obviously, Reigns is more out for blood than successful title defenses.

And both of these large Samoan wrestlers named Joe definitely brought their A game tonight, in the face of a sometimes hostile Chicago crowd and in the face of some pretty questionable booking. You know that the match itself was well executed, so you don’t need me to go over what moves they did. It was fairly standard fare for these guys.

But the finish was hot garbage. At first glance, I was okay with it, but on a second watch I just don’t like it. Reigns has the match potentially well in hand, but he continues to attack Joe in the corner. The referee tries to pull Roman off Joe, but he can’t do it. Reigns then swats the referee away like a mosquito, drawing a disqualification.

So the noble, babyface champion has to intentionally lose the match just to inflict a minimal amount of punishment? If roles were reversed and the heel lost via DQ for the same reason, it makes sense. The way it was done here does not.

The Miztourage (Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel) vs. Braun Strowman

Result: Braun Strowman defeated The Miztourage via pinfall

Rating: 1.25 out of 5 stars

Time for one more Mizmas carol before the “Secret Santa” match gets underway. So Dallas and Axel do a semi legit version of “Jingle Bells,” before their mystery opponent makes his way to the ring. That mystery opponent – Braun Strowman.

And the match is painfully short. It’s all Strowman, in a further destruction of the Finn Balor character (remember, Balor struggled to defeat the knuckleheads even with a partner, and here’s Braun doing a picture perfect machine impression).

A single running powerslam on Bo Dallas was the end of this one. But Braun wasn’t finished: Dallas got another powerslam, and Curtis Axel got two. If I had to guess, I’d say Braun is all set for his big title match at Royal Rumble. He’s not going to win, mind you, but he’s going to do something crazy, mark my words.

Get on the Same Page With Your New Partner

Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan seem to be having some issues. Teamwork makes the dream work, guys, gotta work through it!

Short version: Jordan thinks he’s an improvement over Dean Ambrose, while Rollins thinks Jordan is crazy like a fox. An awkward stare down later, the segment mercifully comes to an end.

Also interesting here is the shiner Seth Rollins is sporting. I didn’t notice it the first time he was on screen, and now I’m wondering when he got punched in the face.

Alexa Bliss Addresses the Royal Rumble

After last week’s announcement of the women’s Royal Rumble match, many of the superstars in WWE’s women’s divisions spoke out about it. In a video posted on WWE’s YouTube channel, Alexa Bliss mentioned that this was proof that the “Women’s Evolution” was making progress.

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This week, though, heel Alexa came out with a vengeance. She took credit for the entire happening – the Women’s Evolution, the Royal Rumble, all of it. As she was ranting on and on, out came the most dominant woman in WWE – Asuka.

The Empress of Tomorrow did her whole usual schtick – dancing down to the ring, mask removal, the works – just to tell Alexa that she was entering the Royal Rumble. And Asuka isn’t only entering – she’s going to win, because no one is ready for Asuka.

Alexa looked like she debated fighting Asuka, but hesitated. While frozen in terror, Alexa caught a roundhouse kick to the head from Asuka, who celebrated.

So Team Raw finally has its first official entrant into the historic Rumble match. If we’re handicapping favorites, most would probably rank Asuka near the top of the heap. But I honestly don’t think she’ll win. It’s too obvious and rudimentary. Plus, Asuka being eliminated from a battle royal can happen without her losing her undefeated streak. Remember when Eva Marie eliminated her in NXT?

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Cesaro & Sheamus (c) vs. Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan

Result: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan defeated Cesaro & Sheamus via pinfall to become the new WWE Raw Tag Team Championships

Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars

In my article earlier today regarding bold predictions for the week, I suggested that WWE would try to counter possible low viewership by swapping a championship. I can’t pat myself on the back too hard, because I couldn’t have dreamed of Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan as a team beyond last week. But hey, here we are, successful prediction!

Yes, Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins won the Raw Tag Team Championships this week, and the match was pretty good. The story was pretty simple, too – Rollins doesn’t think Jordan is as good as Jordan thinks he is, and there’s no way the young superstar can hang with him. So Rollins tries to go it alone for a bit.

But Cesaro & Sheamus are good at this whole tag team thing, so eventually they catch on and make sure the Architect is isolated. Jordan tries to lend some assistance, but his impetuous attack leads to his being temporarily incapacitated. As Rollins went for a tag, there was no one in his corner – he couldn’t trust Jordan.

When Jordan finally got back and took the hot tag, he lit the ring up before falling victim to some well-timed double teaming. But persistence pays off, and Rollins and Jordan were able to fight through the champs and their superior teamwork.

The finish was an example of paying off the story for a match. Rollins came to Jordan’s aid by preventing yet another double team move, drawing Sheamus to the outside. Rollins threw the Celtic Warrior into the ring steps before eating a ridiculous running uppercut from Cesaro. When Cesaro went back into the ring, he walked right into an Olympic Slam neckbreaker, and Jordan picked up the victory for his team.

So Jordan not only proves himself trustworthy, he picks up the title victory for him and Rollins. It’s an interesting move, possibly related to the injury to Ambrose (and maybe the reported spinal stenosis Sheamus has been suffering from). And it’s a good way to close out a historic holiday episode of WWE Raw.

Next: 25 Greatest Pay Per Views in WWE History

What did you think of this week’s show? Most of the matches were low consequence and low quality, but both championship matches were on the positive side of average.