Long before AEW, in WWE, Chris Jericho was pro wrestling incarnate in a string of wild antics and ridiculous storylines.
It’s been roughly three weeks since the Longhorn Steakhouse happened to us, the collective wrestling fandom. Since then, former WWE Superstar Chris Jericho has gone on to open for Judas Priest with his metal band Fozzy. He’s also hosted an episode of America’s Got Talent and won the main event of AEW’s debut Dynamite episode on TNT on Oct. 2. In the event that you were in a mild coma, allow me to recap the Longhorn Steakhouse incident:
Chris Jericho, somewhere in between a little bit of the bubbly and a limo ride to a steakhouse chain, lost the AEW Championship. You know, the very first one in the promotion’s history. Police reports were filed, memes were made, t-shirts were printed. As fans continue to wonder what, if anything, was a work, the entire history of pro wrestling is the better for it.
I was thrilled on perhaps a deeper level than others. You see, I am a lifelong Jerichoholic. When I was maybe 10-years-old, I attended one of the first WWE’s live shows at a proper arena in my hometown. After adults rushed the barricades and prevented me from giving a respectful pat on the shoulder to the Hardy Boyz, I realized I would have to be faster, smarter, and more determined to give my respects to Jericho.
I stood on my absolutely garbage folding chair and sprinted across the entire row like I was going to qualify for The Floor is Lava at the Summer Olympics. I got to the final chair, my hand less than a foot away from my hero…
And the chair snapped shut on my leg.
I fell to the ground.
Hard.
My place as a mere mortal against the demigods that were pro wrestlers weighed me down as my body slammed into the hard concrete floor. Jericho stopped. It was like those commercials where Bret Hart gave a child his sunglasses. Was my moment now? Would my hero and I exchange a beautiful moment? Would I absorb his powers from an emotional equivalent of that enchanted ball in Space Jam? Would he tell me to believe in my dreams or give me some token of appreciation?
No.
Chris Jericho looked at me, a broken and potentially seriously injured child. He pointed. He laughed. And he moved on.
Legend.
And with that here are three classic moments of Jericho being an absolute mess and making it work.
Coffee with Kane
Even in the best of circumstances not every origin story to a feud can be a winner. The brawls between Kane and Jericho starting with a spilled coffee is certainly a loser.
But this is Chris Jericho. It was absolutely entertaining. In 2000, after offering an advanced copy of Fozzy’s new album and singing the praises of lead singer Moongoose McQueen (yeah, it’s Jericho) at catering, Jericho turns and walks right into Kane.
He actually apologizes, saying, “sorry, I didn’t mean to burn you,” and as you probably know… burning is a whole thing with Kane. He beats Jericho all around the coffee area but he isn’t done. Later, Jericho’s match with Regal is interrupted by the big red machine. Chokeslams free with any small coffee.
It’s not a memorable feud. It has no pay off. Still, it’s a shining example of Chris Jericho’s ability to make any promotion, ad placement, or spot work at least in the moment.
Man of 1,004 Holds
Dean Malenko, master tactician of few words, was titled “the Man of 1,000 holds.” In the late 90s, Jericho proclaimed himself “Man of 1,004 Holds” and began to read the names of each and every hold he knew over an entire episode of Nitro on March 30, 1998. Sadly he was thwarted somewhere in the 700s and we may never know just how many armbars he can do. I personally wouldn’t bet lower than 100.
This (along with his entire year of taunting Dean Malenko, if you wish to put that WWE network subscription to good use) is my go to promo for making people see not only how great Jericho has always been but how ahead of his time he was.
Beating Rock and Austin on the same night
At the Vengeance Pay-Per-View in December of 2001 the WCW and WWE World Championships were to be condensed into one unified championship. As the story goes, Ric Flair purchases the shares of Shane and Stephanie McMahon, leaving him with equal power to Vince within the company.
There is no single match for these titles. Stone Cold Steve Austin faces Kurt Angle, The Rock faces Chris Jericho, and the winner of each match would fight for THE title.
After interference from Booker T and the boss man himself, Vince McMahon, Jericho beat Austin to become the first Undisputed champion. Naturally, the victory made Jericho INSUFFERABLE and he appeared on Raw the next night with a written acceptance speech.
"First of all, nobody thought I had a chance to become the undisputed champion. Nobody thought I had a chance in hell of walking out of San Diego victorious. EXCEPT FOR ONE PERSON. And that person always had faith in me, that person always believed in me, and that person knew that against all odds that would come out on top. And that person is… MYSELF. So I would like to thank myself for being so strong, so athletic, and so talented to prove all of the doubters and all of the people who think I couldn’t do it wrong."
Jericho milked beating the Rock and Austin “single-handedly” in one night to the last drop. Heat on heat on heat.