IMPACT Wrestling AXS TV Premiere Oct. 29: Results, Highlights and Grades

The first episode of IMPACT Wrestling on AXS TV (and the first post-Bound for Glory show) offers a stacked card, including a main event title rematch between World Champ Brian Cage and Sami Callihan inside of a steel cage.

Following a “Dawn of a New Era” video package, IMPACT opens with commentators Josh Matthews and Don Callis introducing us in the ring.

Momentarily, following the intro video (low key, IMPACT might have the best tv show opening theme in the world now), we are introduced to our first match of the night.

Naomichi Marufuji vs. Josh Alexander (w/ Ethan Page)

The week before, Marufuji accepted a singles match challenge

Lock up to start. Evenly matched as they meet at the ropes. They break until Marufuji kicks Alexander in the face twice. He goes for a third, but Alexander hits a double leg takedown. Marufuji retaliates with a drop toe hold. Both men dodge kicks and punches. We’ve reached a stalemate.

Alexander brings Marufuji down to the ground with a headlock, that Marufuji briefly turns into a pin attempt, but Alexander kicks out and won’t break the headlock. To get out of it, Marufuji wrenches Alexander’s arm, but Alexander chops him. Marufuji chops him right back. Alexander looks like he’d chop back, but instead kicks Marufuji in the gut and clobbers his back. Followed by a knee to the temple, for a two count pin attempt.

Alexander tosses Marufuji to the corner and hits some punches/elbows, but Marufuji hits a cartwheel dropkick. He gets Alexander in the corner and hits a chop, then an elbow. In prone position, Marufuji stomps Alexander’s chest, then kicks him in the back. Two count.

Alexander gets back into this with a chop, rolling fireman’s carry, then a knee from the middle rope for a two count. Alexander attempts a powerbomb, but Marufuji knees him in the stomach. Attempts a Sliced Bread #2, but Alexander reverses with a backbreaker for a two count. Garvin Stomps on the prone Marufuji as The Walking Weapon has a sinister grin.

Attemps a powerbomb once more, but Marufuji gets out, hits  a Super Kick. Another Sliced Bread attempt, but Alexander evades it. They go hit for hit until both men are down.

Back to their feet, we get a chop exchange. Alexander attempts an elbow, Marufuji dodges it, but Alexander elbows him in the back of the head. Alexander nails a Torture Rack Bomb for a near fall.

Series of kicks from Marufuji back to his feet, but a two count. He sets up a kick to the back of the knee, then a Sliced Bread. Nails it for the win.

After the match, Marufuji offers a handshake to Alexander. Alexander goes to shake it, but Page stops it. Page looks furious as Alexander goes to shake his hand but SIKE! Josh is joshing around as he retracts his hand and the Tag Champs laugh it off as they walk away.

Winner: Marufuji

Grade: B+

Solid, solid, wonderfully solid bout between these guys. If you’ve never seen these guys before or IMPACT before, this is a great introduction and should offer a wonderful first impression for new audiences.

Great displays of athletic ability from both, and a great post-match angle; teasing dissension between the tag champs (planting that idea in case IMPACT ever decide to split them up for a feud) and highlighting The North as two jerks running the tag division.

As they enter the arena, oVe are approached by security with orders from management that Jake Crist, Dave Crist and Madman Fulton are banned from the building before Callihan’s main event. Furious, the big Madman goes to choke out security, but his boys hold him. Sami says if management want the rest of oVe gone, then he’ll give the rest of oVe “the night off.” Sends us to our first commercial break.

Back from the break, The Rascalz are in their pothead cave as Dezmond is describing the big “juicy fruit” lips are on Miguel’s mom. Fallah Bahh joins the chat to “BAHH” about Elgin. Also says his first non-BAHH words. The Rascalz offer to “open [Bahh’s] mind.” They get high, and suddenly, Bahh’s speaking complete sentences about Shakespeare and not being true to himself, like The Rascalz are. Essentially, The Rascalz eloquently pontificate how and why Bahh should just “beat his ass!” Hilarious stuff, as always.

Taya Valkyrie, Madison Rayne and Kiera Hogan vs. Jordynne Grace, Alexia Nicole and Rosemary

Odd that Rosemary is the only Knockout to get an entrance. Not even the Knockouts Champion, Taya Valkyrie, gets an entrance. Weird. Then again, if you only have time for one entrance, you have to go with Rosemary’s spooky entrance right before Halloween.

Hogan starts against Alexia Nicole. Nicole gets the advantage, especially with a dropkick to the back. She attempts a suicide dive, but Rayne jumps in and just pounces her. Like, Monty Brown type pounce; it was kinda cool.

Anyway, Grace and Rosemary double team Rayne and Taya and send the heels to the outside before the commercial break.

Back from the break, Alexia is pounding on Hogan, but Hogan hits a jawbreaker. They hot tag to Rosemary and Rayne. Instead of getting in the ring, Rayne marches on the apron about being the Locker Room Leader, before Rosemary throws her in the ring and hits an explosive Exploder Suplex. Rosemary tags Alexia back in and comes in like a house of fire, but is stopped by an interfering Taya, who kicks Alexia in the back. Rayne takes advantage before tagging in Taya.

Taya gets the heel heat on Alexia, before tagging in Hogan who does the same. Alexia tries to counter, but Hogan counters with a hurricanrana. Hogan won’t get up as she says she’s separated her shoulder. Two referees come in to check on her. Hogan kicks at Alexia before tagging in Taya. Unclear if it’s just a spot or if Hogan really injured herself. If it’s the latter case, get well soon, Kiera Hogan. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Anyway, Alexia tags Grace afterwards. Taya wants to tag Rayne, who wants nothing to do with her. And, of course, Hogan is injured on the floor so she’s not even a factor. Grace demolishes Taya before finally pinning the champion.

Winners: Team Grace

Grade: C

Honestly, this was kind of just a standard six person tag. No one does anything bad and it’s not bad action. Just not very exciting. Harmless match, I suppose, but nothing memorable or anything to go out of your way to see.

RVD cuts a promo with his wife from inside of a jacuzzi. He says he deserves credit for an entire generation of wrestling stealing his moveset, which he 100% originated. “Without RVD, there would be no Kenny Omega … no Daniel Bryan … no Young Bucks.” He says he used this moveset to carry ECW and he carried Rhino. He turned on Rhino last Sunday because he’s tired of carrying The Man Beast’s load.

Surprisingly good RVD heel promo here. Haven’t seen RVD work heel since his early ECW days so I’m excited to see how this turns out. So far, so good. The promo sends us to a commercial break.

The Desi Hit Squad vs. Rich Swann and Willie Mack

The Desi Hit Squad’s manager, Gama, orders them to attack Mack and Swann before the match officially begins. After the bell rings, the best friends get the advantage quickly with a couple double team moves. But Desi Hit Squad cheat (i.e. kick to Swann’s back from the illegal man) to get back into this one, but it doesn’t last too long.

Frequent tags from the Desi Hit Squad. Most notably, they hit a sweet backbreaker/knee to the temple combo for a two count. They attempt another tag move, but Swann uses some acrobatic offense to fight his way into a hot tag to Mack. Willie Mack runs wild with a comeback spot on both opponents.

“That’s a lot of ass, brother!” Says Don Callis on commentary about Mack. For reasons. Just wanted to point that little quote out. For reasons.

Anyway, Swann back in, gets double teamed and following a double team DDT, nearly loses but kicks out. Swann and Mack back in this following a Stunner from Mack and a Springboard Cutter from Swann. Swann tags Mack back in to put the exclamation point on this match with their tag team finisher for the win.

Winners: Swann, Mack

Grade: C-

Just a notch below the average squash match, but that’s pretty much what this was. Desi Hit Squad are usually fall guys anyway, and knowing that, it was hard to get into this one. But thanks to some cool looking tag team action, this was somewhat entertaining.

Rhino is backstage hassling producers about where RVD is until he’s told RVD is on vacation. An angry Rhino challenges RVD to a match at Turning Point, and promises to rip Rob in half with the “GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!”

In his own promo, Moose introduces us to fans who may not know who he is. Swears he’s become the best wrestler in six years, the best MMA fighter after beating Ken Shamrock last Sunday, and on the golf course, swears he’s the best golfer in the world. He then gets in a fight with two old guys he accuses of taking his white ball out the hole, after missing a hole in one. He throws one of the old guys around and literally plops his ball in the hole to call himself the best golfer ever.

Back in the IMPACT Zone, Ken Shamrock addresses his future with IMPACT Wrestling.

He says he didn’t think he’d ever wrestle again, but surprised himself in his match with Moose. While soul searching to figure out what’s next, he concludes that …

Before he can finish his sentence, IMPACT’s newest signee Joey Ryan hits the stage with a lollipop in his mouth. He puts the lollipop in his trunks “for later” before speaking. Ryan says he thinks Ken has one more mountain to **looks at his own crotch** climb.

Ken doesn’t know who Ryan is at first, but Ken finally recognizes Ryan as “The Penis Guy.” Accurate. Ken thinks it’s pretty cool and funny, but in a real match, “a real fighter” like himself could beat “a gimmick” like Ryan any day of the week.

“That’s a little stiff, no pun intended.” Ryan says Ken is “scared to touch it.”

Ken clarifies to say he wasn’t about to say he’s retiring. He was going to put IMPACT on notice and for anyone who gets in his way, including Ryan,  “I’ll be your Huckleberry.” Ryan asks Ken to handshake agree to a future match next week. Shamrock goes for a handshake, but Ryan tries to get Ken to “touch it.” Shamrock shoves Ryan away, and the heel runs off.

Grade: A

Joey Ryan and Ken Shamrock is not a combination I ever thought I’d see in my life, but now I’m dying to see it. By that logic, given how the definition of a promo is meant to promote matches and sell people like me on matches, this was a great segment; mission accomplished.

X-Division Champion Ace Austin vs. Eddie Edwards – Street Fight (non-title)

Edwards kicks this off immediately with a suicide dive onto Austin, then rips off his shirt, which says “I Just Banged Your Wife!” for anyone wondering. With vengeance on his mind, he suplexes Austin along the ramp. Edwards goe to the back to bring in two steel trash cans, but while he was gone, Austin picked up a steel baton to retaliate and lay the Triple Crown winner out, then slams a can against Edwards’ head.

Edwards gets back into this with a back drop on the apron. Nails Austin with a trash can lid across Austin’s face. Twice, since the crowd begged for it “One more time!” Edwards tosses all the weapons in the ring, but eats a super kick to turn the match in the champ’s favor. He then chokes Edwards with his own t-shirt, before rubbing the shirt in his face.

Ace then pulls a table out from under the ring and brings it in the ring. Or at least he teases it. He throws the table back on the ground. Because screw the fans that’s why. Heel heat, baby!

He goes back in the ring, and gets hit with a trash can lid. As a man of the people, Edwards brings the table in the ring. Edwards goes to set up the table, but Ace hits him with a lid before setting the table up in the corner. Edwards hits a super kick and teases a powerbomb, but Reno Scum (Ace’s henchmen) hit the ring. Edwards fights them off and sends one through the table.

Ace uses the distraction to his advantage and hits a Fame Asser over a trash can for a near fall.

Back from commercial break, Ace hits a suplex before grabbing a steel chair. Before he can use it, Edwards kicks him in the face, hits the middle rope, and eats an enzigiri. He picks the chair back up and sets it up for a suplex onto it. Edwards slips out of it, picks up the chair and bounces it off Ace’s back. He follows that up with a top rope super back suplex.

Edwards pulls Kenny the Kendo Stick out from under the ring. He’s ready to nail Ace with it, but Ace picks up and blocks with his X Division belt and bounces it off Eddie’s head. Which was awesome! But not enough to get him the win. He hits Eddie with the stick, then breaks it in half. He lunges at Eddie, but runs head first into the trash can. Which was also awesome!

Eddie capitalizes by pulling another table out. He appears to set up a top rope suplex through the table, but rakes Edwards eye. He attempts to load his own fists with a small metal object, but Edwards isn’t having it. Still, Ace hits his Super Fold finisher through a table for the win.

Winner: Ace Austin

Grade: A

I don’t usually go crazy for hardcore matches, but for those last five minutes alone, this match was awesome. Rest of the match was dope in itself, but those last few minutes especially was great stuff. Definitely seek out this match, especially if you go crazy for hardcore matches. Loads of fun from start to finish.

We get a flashback of Havok literally murdering Su Yung. Yes, literally. She hung her with a noose along the top of a stairwell. This show is nuts and I kind of love it.

The Undead Bride is inadvertently revived at the hospital by doctors operating on her. Like, legit revived. She’s no longer Undead. Yep, I love this show now. It’s official.

Su’s new Un-Undead persona, “Suzie” roams the backstage area and freaks out the roster in her clear faced, lively, jolly demeanor with her white dress. Interesting.

Backstage after his match, Ace Austin approaches Eddie Edwards’ wife, Alisha. She says her issues with her husband are complicated, but just as Ace put Edwards behind him after their match, Alisha should too. She reluctantly agrees to dinner with Austin next week.

Brian Cage (c) vs. Sami Callihan – Steel Cage Match – IMPACT World Heavyweight Championship

Main event time!

Brian Cage makes a B-line for the ring, but Calihan dropkicks the steel cage door into Cage’s face. Cage retaliates by hitting a powerbomb against the cage, grazing his face, then slamming the heel back first into the steel ring post. He attempts it once more, but Callihan wiggles out and pushes Cage away. He locks himself inside, but Cage climbs the Cage to clothesline Callihan and officially start the match.

Attempts a powerbomb, but Callihan wiggles out. Bounces the bat he brought to the ring across Cage’s face, busting him open. He then stomps Cage’s head into the steel cage, then headbutts The Machine, right before biting Cage’s bloody forehead and raking his eyes.

He continues getting the heat on Cage against the, um, cage, but Cage screams and spits at Callihan begging for more. Callihan runs at Cage, but Cage gets right out of the way. Callihan misses Cage, but runs head first into the steel cage. Both men are down.

Back to his feet, Cage superkicks Callihan, who retaliates with a pump kick to Cage, who hits a knee to Callihan. He goes for a discus clothesline, but Callihan hits a slap. He hits a series of punches and kicks, then a running clothesline for a two count.

He hits a Piledriver, but Cage kicks out at one. Callihan runs right into a Pop Up Powerbomb, then a Buckle Bomb. He attempts the Drill Claw, but Callihan rolls him up for a near fall. Series of kicks, then three back to back Piledrivers. After four Piledrivers altogether, Cage still kicks out. Near fall with a “Fight forever!” chant in the background.

He attempts a fifth, but Cage reverses with an Alabama Slam, then a Discus Clothesline. The challenger kicks out.

They take their fight to the top rope. One headbutt after another to each other. Callihan with an enzigiri before hitting a gnarly top rope Piledriver for a one … two … THREE! We have a new IMPACT World Champion and his name is Sami Callihan!

Almost immediately after, his long time foe Tessa Blanchard hits the ring. The two staredown to send us off the air.

Winner (And NEW!): Sami Callihan

Grade: B

Nutty match that highlights this intense feud. Great stuff, great execution.

Overall Grade: B

A few bumps here and there (mostly in the first hour) but the second hour is filled with great stuff. Even the few bumps in the first hour can’t discredit some of the good stuff we saw in it, namely the opener between Marufuji and Alexander.

The AXS TV Era is off to a great start so far.