WWE SmackDown Smacks/Downs: We love Daniel Bryan’s new partner

The second empty-arena WWE SmackDown was better, overall, than the first episode last week. While not everything receives a pass, this was the best of the three empty-arena shows WWE has had between SmackDown and RAW. Let’s look at the smacks and downs from last night’s show.

As we (viewers) adjust to our new normal in many different ways, it’s nice to see WWE adjust from their previous empty-arena offerings with last night’s WWE SmackDown. While there was still a reliance on playing an older match to fill a lot of time, there was an overall better pacing and coherence to the show.

(If you haven’t picked up on it yet, I’m big on coherent storytelling.)

Matches set for WrestleMania 36 gained more momentum, and some matches were either booked or appear to be in the workings for the show. That doesn’t mean everything was done well.

While some may argue WWE should be given some leniency because of having to change their plans wholesale for their biggest show, it doesn’t excuse what has been a two decade pattern of lazy storytelling. After all, as AEW showed us Wednesday, it is possible to adjust to the current situation and put on an engaging and entertaining empty-arena show.

Showing all those empty seats is kind of eerie. Maybe placing the hard camera opposite the staging area like AEW did would help mitigate the emptiness.

As a reminder of my criteria, I’m not going to run through each match/segment. Rather, I will identify a couple of segments that either worked (“smack”) or didn’t for whatever reason (“down”).

My criteria includes quality of match/segment and how it starts and/or builds stories. After all, we watch partly to be caught up in the stories. If a great work-rate match happens with no context or bearing on the stories, it’s going to be a miss.

Also, just because something is a hit/miss doesn’t mean it was an overwhelming choice. The selection could be 51 percent hit, 75 percent miss, and so on.

There are other subtleties to my criteria, but those are pretty much the parameters.

SmackDown started with the introduction of Rob Gronkowski and an ensuing segment; Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak vs. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura; Paige’s appearance and subsequent interruption by Sasha Banks and Women’s Champion Bayley; a replay of John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt from WrestleMania XXX in 2014; an interview with Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross; “The Dirt Sheet” followed by Tag Team Champion The Miz and John Morrison vs. Heavy Machinery; and the contract signing for the Universal Championship match at WrestleMania between Roman Reigns and Goldberg.

Let me also say that any note or prediction about the future and how stories might play out is all contingent upon future shows actually happening. We just don’t know at this rate what our world will look like in a week, let alone a month.

On that note, let’s start with the presidential ticket we should all vote for.

Smack: Bryan and Gulak are the tag team we didn’t know we needed, but definitely deserve

You know what’s so heartwarming about this recent pairing? Bryan, the veteran, is the consummate professional, still working to better his craft by receiving instruction from the younger Gulak. I mean, how can you not love that?

If you didn’t know about Gulak’s abilities before, his match with Bryan at Elimination Chamber and showings since should convince you that Gulak is good. His mat-based style is a great clash for the more common styles of high-flying/acrobatic, athletic, and brawler.

If WWE ever allows him to give the promos he was giving as Cruiserweight Champion instead of the PowerPoint shtick, then we’ll see the fire and passion that made him a champion in the first place.

Also, it is highly unlikely Gulak isn’t learning all the little tricks-of-the-trade from Bryan, particularly as they relate to WWE’s style both in the ring and on the mic.

It also helps that all five wrestlers involved in the Intercontinental Championship scene (Champion Sami Zay, Cesaro, Nakamura, Bryan, and Gulak) are fantastic. It doesn’t matter what combination you make because the matches and segments are/will be FIRE.

Having Gulak continually challenge Bryan on social media and his coaching during matches is a great touch. After all, this began with Gulak telling Bryan he had ideas to improve Bryan. It also seems to work since Bryan has earned the pinfall victory the last two weeks, coinciding with his teaming with Gulak.

Gulak faces Nakamura next week and if he wins, Bryan faces Zayn for the championship at WrestleMania. While many (including me) expect the championship match to take place, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns into a 3-on-2 handicap match.

If it is 1-on-1, be prepared for a classic on the level of Zayn-Nakamura from Takeover: Dallas in 2016.

Either way, next week’s match is going to be (Booker T voice) goodt!

Smack: the Women’s Tag Team Championship picture

Down: the Women’s Championship picture

It may be surprising that the company known for generally being apathetic towards tag team wrestling actually has a better story in the Women’s Tag Team Champion picture than for one of the Women’s Championships.

For several weeks now, even while Tag Team Champion Kabuki Warriors were tied up with Shayna Baszler, Becky Lynch, and Natalya, there were women intimating they wanted to fight for the titles. On the Mar. 9 episode of RAW, Kabuki Warriors defeated Natalya and Liv Morgan.

Fire and Desire (Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose) defeated Carmella and Dana Brooke on the Mar. 6 episode of WWE SmackDown, setting them up for a potential title match.

Women’s Champion Bayley and Sasha Banks defeated Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross last week (I think, by their shirts from last night, they’re to be known as “Bliss Cross Applesauce” now?). Both teams are former Tag Team Champions. However, this victory for Bayley and Banks was only due to interference from Asuka.

This laid the context for Cross being so angry and Bliss channeling that anger to directly challenge Asuka to a match on next week’s show. I would expect Bliss to win (possible through a “turnabout is fair play” ending) to set up a title match at WrestleMania between Kabuki Warriors and Bliss Cross Applesauce.

We’ve had little seeds for weeks now about the Women’s Tag Team Championship picture.

Then we have the Women’s Championship picture.

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/1241164793534447616

Outside of Tamina (who’s been recovering from injury for a long time) and Banks (who had been recovering from her own injuries), Bayley has defeated the other four opponents as champion.

That’s one of the problems with having a champion who’s received somewhat apathetically by the fans just run through the division: it’s hard to create realistic and viable challengers without some hot-shotting.

I can see the arguments for Evans, Naomi, and Banks to be involved in a fatal 4-way match with Bayley, but what exactly have Brooke and Tamina done to deserve their placement in the match?

Is this announcement what they had planned for Paige’s appearance that went awry because of the pandemic last week? It just feels so rushed.

I’m not sure what’s more questionable: when a wrestler or parade of wrestlers interrupts a champion to say “I want the next shot” with no rhyme or reason, or having a non-wrestler like Paige (and Gronkowski’s attempt earlier in the night) making matches like this with little justification.

If I had booking power, I would have a 1-on-1 match at WrestleMania with a #1 contender 4-way between Evans, Naomi, Brooke, and either Carmella or Tamina (since they seem intent on having Tamina back in the title scene). At least that way, we have a legitimate reason for Bayley to defend her title against a bonafide contender rather than this random mishmash that makes little sense.

I also hoped they would hold off on the eventual Bayley-Banks implosion until closer to SummerSlam. However, it appears more likely we see one of them turn/pin the other at WrestleMania with a payoff match at Money in the Bank.

The juxtaposition of these two championship stories is just so stark. Here’s hoping in the few weeks we have left, WWE is able to salvage the Women’s Championship storyline and actually garner fan interest in the match.

On a positive note, it did leave us with Banks flashing that ambition in her eyes as she was announced as the final participant.

Down: contract signing segments need to go

I can’t be the only one who rolls their eyes whenever a contract signing is announced, right?

It was also the second one this week!

Let me also be clear: unlike last week, where I didn’t like the substance of Reigns’ promo, this “down” has to do with the segment and not Reigns or Goldberg.

I actually liked Reigns last night because his conviction, passion, and fire matched the words he was speaking (which I didn’t think was the case last week). I could have done without him calling Goldberg a “bitch,” but overall, I felt genuine disdain from the perceived top act for the actual top act (based on holding the Universal Championship).

Goldberg does what Goldberg does: be the embodiment of uber-testosterone on the verge of having a coronary.

Generally, these segments have dueling promos, an insult or two, a destruction of furniture, and a physical altercation. One positive is at least these two didn’t do the last step and left us with an intense standoff to end the show.

Still, are these segments needed? I mean, we didn’t have a contract signing for Bayley’s title defense, nor do we have one for every match signed for every show. If we’re supposed to believe that all happens behind the curtain, then why do we need these signings on air?

It wouldn’t be so bad if there were some changes to these types of segments. AEW had a weigh-in for Chris Jericho vs. Jon Moxely, a subtle but effective switch. It’s not like WWE has shied away from weigh-ins, either.

Since pro wrestling is so often compared to prize fighting, weigh-ins make much more sense than contract signings. We don’t see fight contracts being signed (unless the fighters post their contract to social media); we see them weigh-in and face-off against each other.

It’s a little change that would be unique enough for the WWE audience to (I believe) garner more interest.

Again, I liked Reigns last night and was fine with Goldberg. I just don’t like contract signing segments. Will we see a change moving forward? Unlikely, but one can hope.

-Smack: this is the kind of match I’d rather see replayed

Look, I know, the replays of the tag team Elimination Chamber match on last week’s SmackDown and the Rumble match on RAW were big in the ratings. However, those matches being so recent, I tuned out and thought the time could have been better served showing more historical matches that helped create the stars we see today.

Replaying Cena-Wyatt was perfect.

Now, if you never saw the match or forgot about it, you understand how The Fiend’s eventual birth found its genesis here. I loved that “Firefly Fun House” because it finally gave us a reason for the existence of The Fiend: Cena ending his undefeated streak by pinning him clean at WrestleMania XXX.

Remember, as hot as The Fiend was, Wyatt may have been even more over in 2014 heading into his match with Cena. That loss did untenable amounts of damage to Wyatt’s momentum and character, taking him nearly six years to regain that momentum.

WWE also pulled a nice move by having the video package recapping their most recent encounters play after the match, reminding fans why we should be invested in this feud. It also rewarded those fans (like me) who have been clamoring for The Fiend-Cena at WrestleMania since The Fiend character debuted based on their past and specifically that match at WrestleMania XXX.

Let’s hope WWE makes the right decision and has The Fiend emerge victorious over Cena.

-Smack and Down: “The Dirt Sheet” and subsequent match

“The Dirt Sheet” was fine for what it was, and I understand why it happened. I would have cut about two minutes from it, but at least they tried to sports-entertain us. There was a great Big E impression in there, too, but why were they dressed as bacon when Otis is known for his affinity for ham?

The match was adequate, but babyfaces in WWE are so easily and stupidly distracted.

https://twitter.com/WWEonFOX/status/1241181253832855552

I also understand they were trying to give an edge to Heavy Machinery (and Otis in particular) as they build towards what looks like either a 1-on-1 match between Otis and Dolph Ziggler or a mixed tag match. Otis thus far has been portrayed as a goof, and maybe this aggressive turn will help fans think of him as more than just a gag.

However, the match dragged, Otis looked dumb (again), and Heavy Machinery just took themselves out of tag title contention with their loss to the defending champion.

Oh, wait: wins and losses don’t really matter in WWE. That’s right.

-Down: everything to do with Mojo Rawley, Gronkowski, and King Corbin

Not much needs to be said here. It was cringe. Corbin looks like a fool in his King getup, but I also think that’s something he knows and does to troll us.

Rawley likes smacking butts (so much for social distancing), Gronkowski has no rhythm, and his music sounds like RuPaul is about to walk through those curtains (which I would pop HUGE for). I just hope we don’t see Gronkowski until WrestleMania (which is another unlikely scenario).

Another week of smacks and downs is complete! As we continue to adjust to our rapidly changing society, I guess we can take solace in that we (for the time being) have pro wrestling we can still banter about to varying degrees. Stay safe everyone, and hope to have you back next week!