Predicting Five More ‘ZZ-Types’ WWE Could Sign

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Mitch / Can of  Vegetables from Wet Hot American Summer

If you were not away at sleep-away camp this summer, you could at least go on Netflix and see how Michael Showalter and David Wain depicted it. With a roster as wacky as the leftover WCW wrestlers in the Invasion angle, Wet Hot American Summer takes itself as seriously as Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight. Outrageous characters and physical comedy are spread throughout Camp Firewood and we meet the same characters on the first day of camp that showed up in the 2001 sequel about the last day of camp. And while each camper or counselor would be a fine, perplexing ZZ-like signing for WWE, sometimes you have to go with the inanimate object.

I could write a spoiler alert about how Camp Director Mitch eventually becomes a can of vegetables, but you would probably stop reading if I wrote out the details. Just know this: Mitch, as a can of vegetables, is something WWE has never seen. Sure, we have seen random objects – Triple H’s sledgehammer, Mae Young’s baby/hand, Santino Marella’s cobra, but never would the object itself be the actual superstar. This is why Mitch, voiced by H. Jon Benjamin aka Dr. Katz aka the convenience store clerk Carl on Family Guy, would be must-see television. Mitch would show locker room leadership like he did at Camp Firewood, he would be a master on the mic in his cool, bass voice and his matches would unintentionally bring back blading with the edge of his lid.

Mitch would literally be rough around the edges, but with some time in developmental and building a lot of biting, dripping and other moves that don’t need limbs, we may have a true talent on our hands. Or he could just team up with Bull Dempsey and serve as his Bull-Fit nutrition.

Next: I Am Groot