WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 12

Photo Source: WWE.com

Follow along with our live WWE Raw review as the Road to WrestleMania gets into high gear.

Previously on WWE Raw, Paul Heyman said some naughty words. Braun Strowman earned free tickets to Megadeth shows for life – and destroyed an aisle of Guitar Center. Matt Hardy decided it was time to prepare the battlefield, as he challenged Bray Wyatt to The Ultimate Deletion at the Hardy Compound. And John Cena beat… Goldust? Can that actually be true?

This week on Raw, it’s time to hit the gas pedal. There ain’t a single stop left until NOLA on the Road to WrestleMania. Everything from the past year of WWE programming will come to a head in three short weeks, so it’s full speed ahead. That means the Raw brand’s main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns will surge ahead.

Reigns hasn’t taken too kindly to Brock’s come-as-I-please attitude, and has been vocal about his displeasure. This week, the two will finally come face to face for the first time since Reigns officially punched his ticket to WrestleMania. Reigns warned Lesnar through Paul Heyman to prepare for a fight. Will things get physical this week?

Ronda Rousey chose her WrestleMania opponent last week – Stephanie McMahon. After some hemming and hawing from Stephanie and Triple H, General Manager Kurt Angle decided it would instead be a mixed tag match – Stephanie and Triple H vs. Rousey and Angle. A fight broke out between the four competitors, and Rousey and Angle stood tall. What kind of retaliation will The Game and The Billion Dollar Princess have cooked up for this week?

The Ultimate Deletion is nearly upon us. Matt Hardy challenged Bray Wyatt to a fight at the Hardy Compound, since WWE “couldn’t contain the battle” the two are about to wage. Wyatt accepted the challenge via social media, but we don’t know when the war will commence. Will the WWE Universe get a sneak peek into the world of the Hardys? And who among the cast of characters will make an appearance?

Related Story: WWE Bold Predictions, Week of Mar. 12

All this plus more awaits us this week on Raw. Be sure to join us right here at 8 p.m. ET for our live WWE Raw review.

PHoto Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Kurt Angle Needs a Gavel and Scissor Lift With All This Bad News

So, does Kurt Angle do anything besides shill WrestleMania these days? With all the PR work he’s doing on a daily basis, I don’t think he’s going to be ready to get in the ring in four weeks. Maybe WWE should just pull the trigger on intergender and let Ronda Rousey go HAM on both Stephanie and Triple H.

But I’m afraid Angle does have some bad news – Brock Lesnar is not going to appear on Raw tonight. Again. Honestly, it’s a bold move, but I love it. It gives Reigns a chance to actually carry the feud on his own. If he’s going to be The Guy, he’s going to have to do that on the regular. So let him do it. The WrestleMania card is stacked as of right now, so it’s not like Brock “no-showing” Raw and Roman carrying the weight is going to hurt viewership.

And now that Reigns has had the ball handed to him, he is running with it full speed. In another promo that breaks the non-existent fourth wall, Roman brings some new blood into the proceedings – Vince McMahon himself. WHERE’S MY POPCORN? Reigns says there’s no repercussions for Lesnar skipping out on work because he’s “Vince’s boy,” and Vince doesn’t have the courtesy to tell Roman himself that Brock isn’t here.

Look, I get that this is a work – and by now, there should be no doubt from anyone. But it’s entertaining as hell – especially when Roman barges into gorilla and threatens a 70-year-old man. Vince, ever the curmudgeon, orders the show to go to commercial as he and Roman head to Vince’s office to “discuss” things.

I love this. I think it may finally help get the fans more solidly behind Reigns – the working man, I guess. As long as WWE doesn’t try to just make him a facsimile of Steve Austin, it’ll be great. Let Roman be Roman, and the post-Mania landscape will be wonderful.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Lord, I Was Born a Ramblin’ Man

Seriously, did Vince McMahon forget how to cut a succinct promo over the past few months? I know he’s not on TV regularly anymore, but he went from point A to point B with a detour through C, D, E, and F.

Short version: Renee Young reported that she heard a heated discussion, but nothing crazy. Reigns left without saying a word, and Vince relayed what happened. He said he appreciates Roman’s concerns, but Reigns needs to heed his cousin’s advice – you know, The Rock says know your role and shut your mouth.

Vince continues by saying he guarantees Brock Lesnar will be on Raw next week, and he understands that Lesnar may be taking advantage of “well-deserved” special privileges. Oh, and Reigns has been temporarily suspended for his outburst.

Not a fan of the suspension, unless Reigns ignores it and shows up anyway. We don’t know how temporarily he’s on the sidelines, but hopefully he shows up to be a thorn in Brock’s side.

Gotta say, though, adding Vince McMahon to this WrestleMania build is a great move. Yes, Reigns can absolutely carry the feud himself in Brock’s absence. But Vince McMahon is Vince McMahon. He actually can still add to a feud/broadcast/program, rambling aside.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Sonya Deville (w/ Paige & Mandy Rose) vs. Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley)

Result: Sasha Banks defeated Sonya Deville via submission

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Hmmm, Bayley in Sasha’s corner? No way this goes south, right?

The first match of the night wasn’t anything special. A lot of Sasha’s strikes missed the mark, and timing seemed off here and there. I really liked how Sasha folded up in the corner from a shoulder tackle while Sonya was still winding up!

Not every match is as crisp as a brand new dollar bill, though. That’s fine. If the story progresses in a meaningful way, some in-ring sloppiness can be forgiven. Did the story progress in a meaningful way, though? Not too sure.

Bayley is at ringside to pay back Sasha for saving her last week. So when Absolution closes in on Sasha during the match, Bayley keeps them at bay, allowing Sasha to lock in the Banks Statement for a victory.

Once the match is over, Bayley leaves a confused Sasha – only for Absolution to once again orchestrate an attack. This time, Bayley does nothing but head to the locker room, and Sasha is taken out.

So Bayley and Sasha still have problems, and Absolution is still a better group on paper than in practice. Which means the story didn’t really go anywhere, which isn’t great in Mania season.

Kid Rock to Hall of Fame

Dead Man Taker > American Bad Ass Taker, so I couldn’t care less about Kid Rock going into the Hall of Fame.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Everyone’s Favorite Talk Show

The Miz stirring the pot is always a welcome addition to television. It’s a great contrast to Seth Rollins yelling and saying “man” a lot.

A triple threat between Rollins, Miz, and Finn Balor is going to be amazing. Like Rollins said, everyone is already fired up for it. It doesn’t need much more build than it already has. But here’s Miz to remind everyone of the finals of the Universal Championship tournament from 2016. You know, the one where Finn Balor practically debuted by winning the title by defeating Seth Rollins at SummerSlam.

And Balor is quick to point out that he not only won the title, but did so with one arm. Nice little dig at Rollins, and things almost break down into a brawl between the two challengers. Just as The Miz planned, as evidenced by his C. Montgomery Burns-like grin in the background.

But Rollins and Balor catch on quick, and team up briefly to dispatch the Intercontinental Champion. But Rollins, ever the snake, also puts an exclamation point on things by taking down Balor. We’re off to a rollicking start for this match and its Mania build. And it gets us a singles match between Rollins and Balor later tonight. Who can complain about that?

(Possibly me, when it ends in a no-contest because of The Miz.)

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

The Bar (Sheamus & Cesaro) vs. The Miztourage (Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel)

Result: No contest; match never started

Rating: N/A

Ah, so this is what we’re doing with the Raw Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania. To date, The Bar have claimed dominance over the tag team division. Apparently, every other team in the division – despite having pretty much all been embarrassed by Cesaro and Sheamus in the past – took offense to this.

So when The Miztourage got a chance to punch a ticket to WrestleMania by facing – and defeating – The Bar on Raw, things escalated quickly. The match never started, as all four superstars just whupped each other all around the ringside area. When things finally got into the ring, out came The Revival to attack the champs as well.

In short order, the three brawling teams were joined by The Club, Titus Worldwide, and Heath Slater & Rhyno. And just like that, I understand what Jim Ross meant for all those years when he referenced a pier six brawl. Six teams fighting it out to prove their worth to their peers, right?

Since everyone spent their time just attacking Cesaro and Sheamus, the champs had to bail and run like hell out of Dodge. And because everyone needs to get on the WrestleMania card, it looks like a six pack tag team challenge is in the works.

Honestly, I don’t like it, because it’s lazy. Put the time in to actually develop a story, you know? Is it going to be like the Raw Tag Title match at last year’s WrestleMania, where yet another team is added at the last minute?

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Big Match John is Delusional

Doubting John Cena is even less interesting than Super Cena. At least Super Cena gave fans something to complain about – “HOW THE HELL DID HE KICK OUT OF SEVENTEEN ROCK BOTTOMS?” or whatever. But Doubting Cena? It’s dumb.

Somehow, despite having been John Cena for the past 40 years in real life, and having been John Cena in WWE for the past 16 years, this guy doesn’t think he’s going to have a match at WrestleMania. He claims he’s going to go as a fan – which prompts him to find the worst stereotypical example of a pro wrestling fan in the crowd and drink his beer.

After some sing-songy chants, Cena decides to go “off-script” and issue a challenge to The Undertaker for a match at WrestleMania. It’s Cena’s “I’m Keith Hernandez” moment – he finally realized that he’s untouchable and can do whatever he wants. And because tonight is all about breaking the last shreds of kayfabe that may exist, and obliterating fourth walls, Cena gets REAL.

Technically, it’s a good promo. Cena attacks Taker in a very real way – saying Taker is best known these days for hiding out after a failure, while Cena gets back up so he can fail again if necessary. It gets a little personal – referencing Michelle McCool’s Instagram? So 2018, John.

Where it loses me is when Cena says Taker is an egomaniac who wants to protect his legacy. Hey, John – if anyone has earned that right, it’s a guy who took what should have been a dead in the water gimmick like zombie morticiain and made it work – for a quarter century. And Cena saying Undertaker isn’t washed up? Has he been watching the most recent Taker matches? Hip surgery can’t fix being 52 and having 30 years of bumps on your resume.

It’s what fans want to see, so I get why they’re doing it. But it’s far too late for this to be a meaningful match. This will be Triple H vs. Sting at best.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Trade Me Right Now! (then hang up)

Cesaro and Sheamus want to be traded to SmackDown because of the chaos from earlier. Personally, watching The Bar go up against The Bludgeon Brothers would be fantastic. But Kurt Angle won’t do it, and schedules a battle royal for later tonight to determine The Bar’s WrestleMania opponents.

Walk With Elias (Out of the Arena)

After a great video recap of the Symphony of Destruction match from last week – Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is a great soundtrack for that, too – Elias is in the ring for a performance. He’s selling the beating with a neck brace, and he’s moving very gingerly.

But rather than perform, Elias just walks away, blaming the fans for this. I, uh, don’t get it? He played the guitar for a bit, so it’s not like he can’t make music. And he spoke, so I’m sure he could still sing (music teacher pro tip here: if you can talk, you can sing).

Maybe he’s taking a break? Perhaps it’s time to heal so he can have his big WrestleMania moment?

Braun Needs a Mania Match

I think I speak for everyone when I say Braun Strowman is absolutely right. He should have a match at WrestleMania, and it’s ridiculous he doesn’t have one yet. He threatens everyone with ham hock fists and bright red letters, and I hope he finds whoever needs to catch those hands.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Result: Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins via pinfall

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

We’re an hour and a half into this show – halfway – and this is only the second match to actually start. That’s absurd. Is WWE Raw a talk show or a wrestling show? (Okay, don’t answer that…)

The good news is that this one was pretty dang good, and it was given enough time to really shine. It was a perfect way to sell both guys as a legitimate threat to The Miz and the Intercontinental Championship.

There’s not a whole lot to actually say about the match, though, which troubles me. Like, it was a really good match, well fought by both superstars, and it showed how well each man is prepared for the other. The closing sequence is the perfect evidence of this – Balor knows Rollins is apt to follow the superplex by rolling into a Falcon Arrow. So he counters the roll into an inside cradle to “steal” the pin.

It’s a great ending, because it’s – *gasp* – perfectly logical. It didn’t require much suspension of disbelief after a superplex, because Balor just used momentum. But, like I said, not having much to add about the match is disconcerting. Why does it feel like things won’t build up from here like they could and should?

At least there was no interference from The Miz, and it was a squeaky clean victory.

WWE Honors An Objectively Terrible Person

The Fabulous Moolah was not only a trailblazer in women’s wrestling, she was also almost certainly a sexual predator and pimp. She’s one of the most troubling members of WWE’s past history – which is saying a lot. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why she’s honored as much as she is when Hulk Hogan – who, terrible person, but of a very different degree – is persona non grata.

So let’s name a battle royal after someone who literally held back other talented women wrestlers and pushed them into glorified prostitution!

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Asuka Has Answers

Charly Caruso in the ring to get the skoopz, huh? After Charly sets the stage, Asuka gets a syllable out before Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss enters the proceedings. Alexa and Mickie James – still chums, apparently, with Mickie in full-blown Mean Girls mode – just making fun of the Empress of Tomorrow.

Bliss is under the impression that Asuka wants no part of her because of fear, which lol. Asuka tries to correct her by saying she wants to face the “best” champion there is. Some more “misunderstanding” due to a “language barrier” leads to Asuka pointing out that she’s already beaten Alexa, and will do it again.

Bliss tries to introduce another superstar to face Asuka, presumably Nia Jax, but it’s a ruse for Mickie to launch an attack and presumably set up a match. But this segment is so troubling it defies belief.

The most dominant superstar on Raw is openly saying the Raw Women’s Division and Champion are worthless. How is that a good idea? Seriously, if Alexa is at the top of the division, she’s the representation of everyone else. And Asuka is outright saying “you’re not worth my time”?

We still don’t know what’s going to happen when Asuka wins at WrestleMania. She’s here on Raw tonight – is she pulling double duty, or is she going to jump ship when she wins the SmackDown Women’s Championship?

Photo Source: WWE.Com

Asuka vs. Mickie James (w/ Alexa Bliss)

Result: Asuka defeated Mickie James via submission

Rating: 2.25 out of 5 stars

The worst part of any pro wrestling undefeated streak is once it gets to a certain length, you can’t ignore it. And when it can’t be ignored, it ends up becoming the sole focus of everything related to that particular superstar. Asuka’s streak is over two years long, so it’s clearly all anyone can talk about.

Any time Mickie hit the simplest of moves, all you heard was “OH MY, THE STREAK IS IN JEOPARDY!” Like a hip toss was going to put The Empress of Tomorrow down for a three count.

Sure, Mickie put up a good fight. And the big story is the “leg injury” Asuka suffered from kicking the ring post – makes a Figure Eight seem that much more painful and dangerous, right? But there was no way the streak would end on a random episode of Raw less than a month before WrestleMania, so Asuka fights back to win.

After the match, Bliss heads backstage to find Nia Jax, who was the superstar Bliss tried to bring out. Apparently Alexa has a match with Asuka next week, and wants Jax in her corner. She also wants to know why Jax stood her up – after all Bliss did for Nia last week. Turns out Jax was kept backstage by Kurt Angle, who told her she had a match next.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Nia Jax vs. Joan King

Result: Nia Jax defeated Joan King via pinfall

Rating: 1.0 out of 5 stars

Squash match central here, because the big story is the post-match happenings. GTV is back!

Seriously, though, Nia defeats a local competitor in about 30 seconds. After the match, Charly Caruso is supposed to interview Alexa Bliss backstage, but she’s running late. Apparently, the sound tech doesn’t realize you can actually wait to turn a mic on, and even though Charly is MIA, the boom mic in the locker room goes live.

So everyone hears the entire conversation Alexa has with Mickie James while waiting for Charles. Out comes the truth – Alexa is a manipulative sneak who has been using Nia Jax for her own personal gain for months. And when I say everyone hears this, I mean everyone – including Nia.

The transformation from “devastating monster” to “devastated outcast” is heartbreaking. Nia is going to kill it as a babyface, but I’m going to miss the other side of her character. Her reaction when she hits the locker room – after Bliss and James bailed – was pitch perfect. The destruction was believable – rampages are unpredictable things, you know?

The Ultimate Deletion

THEY’RE ALL HERE.

Senor Benjamin. Vanguard 1. Lord Wolfgang. King Maxel. Queen Rebecca. Everyone. It’s great. Having the WWE money/media machine behind Matt’s greatest idea could make this really something special. Bray threatening the Hardy family is a little creepy, and now I’m terrified.

Kurt Angle also wants to send in a referee to the Ultimate Deletion, which is next week, apparently. (Couldn’t hold out until WrestleMania?) Said official thinks he’s being punished, which honestly doesn’t seem too far fetched with the craziness involved in this feud.

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Tag Team Battle Royal, Winners to Face The Bar at WrestleMania for Raw Tag Team Championship

Result: Braun Strowman won the battle royal, earning a shot at the Raw Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania

Rating: 2.75 out of 5 stars

So the five teams who challenged The Bar earlier tonight were set for the battle royal, but there was one more entrant that no one really expected.

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Yeah. Braun Strowman entered a tag team battle royal solo, and ordered the referee to start the match. Immediately, Braun eliminated Apollo Crews, and dominated the majority of the match. Look, if we’re not going to put Strowman in the world title matches at WrestleMania, why not let him win tag team championships by himself instead?

In a case of how the mighty have fallen, The Revival were eliminated fairly early on – by The Miztourage. A year ago, they were in one of the hottest feuds on NXT. They debuted on Raw the night after WrestleMania 33 and seemed in line for a huge push. Injuries and “plans changing” now have them as less important than Miz’s lackeys. Okay, then.

At one point, the remaining superstars ganged up on Strowman to minimize his impact. After he was taken to the woodshed on the arena floor, the match was wide open. Titus O’Neil controlled things for a bit – which is nice to see. Dude works his butt off, is a great ambassador, and even if he’s not the greatest in-ring talent he can put together a decent match.

But of course, Strowman came back and eliminated Curtis Axel and Rhyno. Wait, sorry, Curtis Axel and BO DALLAS – that’s what happens when I listen to the Coach. (Seriously, how do you mix up Rhyno and Bo Dallas?)

After it came down to Karl Anderson and Strowman, the Good Brother came darn close to winning the whole thing. But Strowman astutely pointed out that he was going to WrestleMania, and threw Anderson onto all his other victims.

This opens up quite a few possibilities. Does Strowman challenge The Bar solo? Is he forced to get a tag partner? If so, who will it be? Will any musical instruments be involved?

Next: 25 Greatest WrestleMania Moments

What did you think of WWE Raw this week?