WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for April 9

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Take These Broken Wings And Learn To Fly Again

Hate her if you must, but Stephanie McMahon is nothing if not committed to her character. Here she is in a high-tech brace and sling after getting trapped in Ronda Rousey’s armbar, just to sell how tough Rousey is. If only Rousey’s finishing move was an armbar sleeper hold, just to give Steph a reason not to speak.

But she’s out here speaking, because of course she is. The delusion is strong with this one, too, as she puts herself over for how well she made the transition from executive to superstar. It’s brilliant in its simplicity, although a little annoying because it’s just another McMahon making herself the star of the show.

Steph brings Rousey out to try and schmooze her over. The boss lady puts her over huge, before claiming she’s her friend. At least, that’s what I think I heard — the crowd was quite vocal throughout the segment with some pretty pretty pretty vulgar chants directed at the Billion Dollar Princess.

Ronda, though, has watched lots of pro wrestling, and instead of shaking Stephanie’s hand she cinches in another armbar. Once again, Rousey attacked the non-check writing hand. It’s pretty impressive just how quickly Rousey has grasped the non-speaking aspects of pro wrestling. She’s got the swagger (aside from the goofy smiles), the fire, the rage – it’s all there. She’s going to be huge in short order.

The crowd once again serenades Stephanie as she’s helped to the back by the paramedics. First she gets a “You deserve it” chant, then the old Steam Classic “Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him) Goodbye.” The cherry on top was Jojo hopping on the mic to ask for a little respect for Stephanie. I love deluded, power hungry heels.

Superstar Shakeup Returns

It’s official — next week, on both Raw and SmackDown will feature the apparently annual Superstar Shakeup. Watch as I lose the ability to write about Braun Strowman and Finn Balor, and instead get Randy Orton to bore me to death every Monday.