IMPACT Wrestling on AXS TV: Results, Highlights and Grades for Dec. 3

RVD and his girlfriend, Katie Forbes, make their way to the ring. Forbes gropes him and twerks on their way to the ring.

Forbes grabs a mic to introduce “ladies, gentlemen and wrestling fans” to the “sexiest man in the world, Rob Van Dam!”

RVD says he feels obligated as the “biggest star in professional wrestling” to explain his recent actions, but no one would understand him because no one else understands what it feels like for an entire generation of wrestlers to act like him right in front of him. He says wrestlers steal his moves and the fans just cheer them on.

He gets interrupted by Tommy Dreamer, who says that next week in Queens, RVD and Rhino oughta settle their differences “old school” in the ring. He tries to say he’ll be the special referee, but RVD talks all over Dreamer’s words.

RVD says just like back in the day, Dreamer is clinging onto his star power. He declines the match offer because he’d rather go take care of his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s girlfriend. That’s when Rhino hits the ring to attack RVD, but security comes out to pull everyone apart as Forbes kicks Rhino with her stilettos. Her and RVD retreat as a dozen guards hold Rhino back.

Grade: D+

I really wanna like RVD as a heel, but the more I see him try to talk on the mic, especially in front of a live crowd, I’m reminded just how bad he is on the mic. Talking is not his strong suit and it showed here. Sloppily talking over people and over his own words was not a good look at all. Wrestling’s always been his best suit so a babyface who rarely spoke (except for funny one-liners) worked for him. This doesn’t.

Also, the more this Rhino vs. RVD program continues, the less interested I become. I don’t care to see these two wrestle, or anymore reminders of old school ECW to be perfectly honest.

After a recap of Rich Swann’s performance in the Gauntlet match the other week, Willie Mack, Ace Romero and Chris Sabin congratulate him for showing out, but Swann says that it was Tessa’s night that night. While she’s one step closer to making history, he considers answering the number one contenders tag team open challenge on Saturday, but The North step into frame to convince that Swann should focus on his singles title match this Saturday for No Surrender instead because he’s a bonafide superstar.

Swann says Page needs better acting skills. He promises that they will win the Tag Open next week and win The North’s titles at Hard to Kill.

Backstage, Father Mitchell introduces “Suzie” to Jessicka Havok. He tells Suzie that if she keeps her distance from Havok, the three of them could be the best of friends.

Johnny Swinger vs. Petey Williams

Johnny Swinger offers a handshake, and Williams accepts it, but Williams blocks the kick and gets a roll up. They have a flex off leading to a lock up then Williams immediately gets into his signature moves. He tosses Swinger to the outside, but Swinger rakes the eyes on the way in.

He continues to work Williams in the ring, going for a splash, but Williams gets a foot up. Swingers blocks it, but Williams evades a series of elbows. He then hits a Codebreaker and some other signatures before attempting a Canadian Destroyer, before Swinger pushes him into the corner.

Swinger calls Joey Ryan to the ring, but no one comes out. He reverses another Canadian Destroyer attempt to attempt a suplex, only to get reversed for a Sharpshooter and immediately taps out.

Winner: Williams

Grade: C

Eh. Nothing special, but also harmless comedy stuff. No harm, no foul.