WWE: 5 cinematic matches that should become reality

THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON -- Episode 0365 -- Pictured: The Undertaker on November 11, 2015 -- (Photo by: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON -- Episode 0365 -- Pictured: The Undertaker on November 11, 2015 -- (Photo by: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
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Jeff Hardy: Wind in the Willows Match

If there’s one person on the WWE roster who has extensive experience in a cinematic match, it’s Jeff Hardy. Brother Nero was an integral part of Matt Hardy’s BROKEN Universe prior to the brothers returning to WWE. Having such experience could be a huge boon, especially if he was able to again collaborate with Jeremy Borash as he did in TNA.

The concept of the match, though, would be a little trickier to nail down. Anything resembling the BROKEN Universe would immediately be ridiculed by a large number of wrestling fans. “You’re copying AEW!” “That’s Matt’s thing, not Jeff’s!” “LOUD NOISES!” I can hear it all now.

So how to rectify that? You take inspiration from another of Hardy’s nicknames — the “Charismatic Enigma.” Terrible name aside, it’s the perfect descriptor for what the match could be. Jeff’s claim to fame is his intangible aura, and he’s a weird and quirky guy. We’ll go through the looking glass on this and take some inspiration from Alice in Wonderland.

Picture Jeff Hardy in your mind — he’s got the face paint, probably standing on the stage looking like he’s been bathed in Day-Glo, and he’s dancing to his music. Honestly, not much even needs to be done to “weird” that up. But from there, WWE should shoot for total fever-dream hallucination, with cartoon animals talking to the participants, and a resemblance to what I can only imagine doing LSD makes you see.

Throw some nods to Hardy’s other personae in there, too. Brother Nero? Light a violin on fire in front of the Italian flag. Willow? See if Warwick Davis has a day off. And if that fails, maybe Alyson Hannigan needs to get out of the house? She’s got two kids at home, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind an escape.

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