Monday Night RAW – 11/2/09

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Here’s what happened on Monday Night RAW – 11/2/09:

Raw opens with the night’s guest hosts, Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne.  Clips of Ozzy’s previous WWE appearances are shown, one of which was Wrestlemania 2.

  • Interrupted by The Miz who wants to have his loss from last week be removed from his record. (REALLY?!?)
  • He’s interrupted by Legacy who wants retribution on Kofi Kingston after what he did last week to the NASCAR they bought.
  • They’re interrupted by Big Show who wants an apology from the entire Raw roster after the beat down he got last week.
  • He’s interrupted by DX who plug Ozzy’s and their new book.  Triple H then whispers something to Ozzy who announces a match between The Miz and Evan Bourne for the US Title.  Shawn Michaels then whispers to Sharon that there will be a match Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton.
  • Big Show tries to beat DX to the punch by telling Ozzy to make a triple threat match between HHH, HBK, and John Cena, but Triple H tells Ozzy to make it a match between Chris Jericho, Big Show and John Cena.

Video Package: Wrestlemania tickets go on sale THIS Saturday!!!

US Title Match
The Miz defeats Evan Bourne via pin fall after hitting the Skull Crushing Finale to retain the US Title.

Backstage: Josh Matthews talks to Sheamus who says he’s going to end Jamie Noble‘s career tonight!

Sheamus defeats Jamie Noble via referee stoppage.  After the match, Sheamus power bombs Noble on the floor.  EMTs come down to stretcher him off.

Video Package: Clips from last week on Raw from the Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton story line.

Backstage: Josh Matthews talks to Kofi Kingston who says he won’t be bullied by Orton and he does NOT regret what he did to deface the NASCAR with Orton’s picture on it.

Orton and Kingston are in the middle of a match when Legacy tries to interfere.  Ozzy and Sharon appear on the Titantron and make it a 6-man tag match, out walk MVP and Mark Henry.

Kofi Kingston, MVP and Mark Henry defeat Randy Orton and Legacy via pin fall after Henry hit the World’s Strongest Slam on Cody Rhodes.

WWE Raw’s Got Talent Contest hosted by Jerry Lawler, with judges, Ozzy, Sharon and guest judge, The Great Khali.

  • 1st contestant – Santino Marella (dressed like Ozzy) who eats the head off a BAT-man action figure…
  • 2nd contestant – Chris Masters who “performs” to Ozzy’s song, Crazy Train, by flexing his pectoral muscles to the guitar riffs.
    Ozzy says “GET THAT MAN A BRA!!!”
  • 3rd contestants – Chavo Guerrero and Jillian Hall who sing a duet of Ozzy and Lita Ford‘s song, Close My Eyes Forever.
    Ozzy says “I’m going to change the name of that song to Close My Ears Forever!”  Jillian decides to start singing Brittney Spears, so Sharon slaps her.  Chavo stands up to Sharon and Khali gives him a chop across the head.  Out comes Hornswoggle, who’s dressed up like Ozzy & Sharon’s son, Jack, and hits a Tadpole Splash on Chavo.

Diva Battle Royal for #1 contender slot for Diva’s Championship is won by Alicia Fox. During the match Jack Swagger came out and made eyes at Eve Torres.

Backstage: Chris Jericho talks to the guest hosts.  Tells Ozzy that growing up he was Jericho’s hero, but now Jericho claims he’s bigger than Ozzy!

Backstage: DX catches Hornswoggle and tries to tell him that if he doesn’t stop infringing on their material, he’s “Going to be in big trouble mister!” (Did I accidentially turn the channel to an episode of Full House???)

  • John Cena interrupts them and they start talking about their triple threat at Survivor Series… makes a really bad joke about how they “Beat each other all the time!” that’s overheard by The Bella Twins who roll their eyes as they walk by. (A joke like that is TV-PG???)
  • Before Cena leaves, he takes a shot at DX by saying, after Survivor Series, “he’ll have 4 words for ya… The Champ is Here!”  Shawn Michaels gets pissed!

Main Event – Triple Threat Match (DX on commentary)
Chris Jericho defeats John Cena via pin fall after Big Show punched Cena in the face from the apron.  After the match JeriShow double teamed Cena, and DX tried to save the day to no avail… JeriShow remains standing.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

Could we possibly get a promo once in awhile that’s NOT interrupted by someone?!?!?  Geez!  The opening segment started fine, with one interruption, but there were three more!  It’s really hard to watch as a fan when you have to try to decipher why all of these guys are in the ring at the same time when their story lines have no bearing on each other.

The bump that Jamie Noble took was absolutely brutal!!!  I seriously think he’s hurt!  They showed the replay like four or five times throughout the night!

Another silly ass segment to cater to the guest hosts… Sharon Osbourne is a judge on America’s Got Talent.  It was a good waste of fifteen minutes of airtime!  It’s just so funny to me that when it comes down to Raw, they have so many matches with three or more participants.  They could have more one on one matches if they stopped with the BS segments that have NO bearing on any story lines people care about!

FUNNIEST SIGN OF THE NIGHT: R.K.Oil

Why is it that Diva Battle Royals allow the Diva’s to go through the ropes to the floor for an elimination?  I’ll tell you why… because none of the divas really know how to take a bump over the top rope to the floor!  Like I’ve said before, I love to watch the divas, but I hate watching them butcher the name of pro wrestling on a nightly basis!  There was ONE heel in that match up, and she won… shocker!!!  The heel’s going to be the #1 contender against the baby face champion!

The main event looked like we were going to have a break down between the tag champions, but they stood tall at the end of the night united.  DX on commentary was amusing!

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