WWE WrestleMania 34: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades

Photo Source: WWE.com

Look at the GORGEOUS Set

I mean, REALLY look at it. It’s beautiful. The whole thing really captures the essence of New Orleans, doesn’t it? The bright colors, the masquerade mask, the exquisite pattern on the walls – it’s perfect. I wrote earlier in the week that when WrestleMania incorporates local flavor into the festivities, it’s at its best. And clearly, they swung for the fences with the stage, as well.

Hey, the ramp doesn’t look too long, either! So hopefully, the entrances won’t take up too much time, and we’ll get a bunch of high-quality rasslin’ on the show.

What a Lousy Pre Show Panel

Renee Young is joined by Booker T, JBL, and David Otunga. Woof. My disdain for Booker T on commentary is well-documented, and you shouldn’t need me to spell out how much more I dislike the bully known as JBL. Otunga is perfectly harmless, but he’s a fish out of water on the panel. Seriously, the only way this could have been less pleasant was if Rosenberg was up there in his Bobby Heenan jacket.

At least because the show is so stacked, there’s not a whole lot of room for banter on the panel. It’s “video package, discuss, video package, Sam Roberts outside,” and repeat a bunch of times. Speaking of…

Fighting Illiteracy One Promo at a Time

Roberts is outside the arena among the WWE Universe trying to hype a show that doesn’t need hype. It’s a pretty easy gig, and I’d kill to be able to do it, if we’re being totally honest. But as part of the gig, he’s got to shill the WWE Network, and even WrestleMania isn’t immune to the “words on screen” promo that’s been sweeping the nation of late.

And it’s like someone vomited neon all over the television screen. Apparently, The Grandest Stage of All isn’t just for the in-ring talent – even the production crew is working hard to make it a show we’ll never forget.

How Did He Get Tickets on Such Short Notice?

John Cena not only got a ticket to WrestleMania at the last minute, but he was one of the first “fans” in the building and in his seat. Being rich must be nice.