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Raw Review: John Cena vs. Kane in a Stretcher Match


The Authority promo

Stephanie McMahon talked about how unsure they must be without a champion, as all the Superstars looked on indifferently. Stephanie and Triple H talked about how Daniel Bryan is a B+ player, and how the roster and the WWE Universe deserves better. Stephanie announced a roster-wide battle royal to determine who would go into the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank Match. Triple H said that some people wouldn’t be allowed in that match. He called out Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and John Cena for refusal to “adapt”. He told Cena that he would get his shot at joining the Money in the Bank Match, but he would have to beat Kane in a Stretcher Match, since Bryan’s injury wouldn’t let that match happen at the pay-per-view, and The Authority don’t like to be liars. This was a really good opening promo. I was a little surprised by Triple H calling Cena out, but I liked it. However, nothing about that Stretcher Match sounds entertaining.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose and Triple H promo

After countering the Zig-Zag, Rollins hit two buckle bombs, followed by a curb stomp. Before he could pin Ziggler, Ambrose came out of nowhere and attacked him causing the DQ finish. This was probably the best match that these two have had.

Ambrose then grabbed a mic and told Rollins that he doesn’t have to wait for Triple H’s “ok”, and he can get in the ring and fight Ambrose now, but Triple H appeared on the Titan Tron and used a bad English accent to put Ambrose in a match with Bad News Barrett.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

As Ambrose appeared to be closing in on the victory, Seth Rollins appeared and distracted Ambrose. Ambrose was able to take on, both, Rollins and Barrett, but he eventually took a countout loss when he focused too much on Rollins. After the match, Ambrose re-entered the ring and hit Barrett with Dirty Deeds. Really good match. Good ending, Rollins and Ambrose is a lock for Money in the Bank.

Roman Reigns and Vickie Guerrero backstage

Reigns was sitting backstage, when he stopped Vickie, who was carrying The Authority’s coffees, to ask her to put him in the battle royal tonight. Vickie said that The Authority is set against him being in it. Reigns told her she had to live up to the Guerrero name, and Vickie was seriously considering fighting The Authority. Reigns told her that if she was going to do everything The Authority wanted, she better do it right, but this was just a distraction so he could slip something in The Authority’s coffees.

Bray Wyatt and Sheamus promo/Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

Bray talked about power. He talked about holding power, and what that could mean. He then pointed to the two title belts hanging above the ring and said that’s all the power he could need. He then turned to Luke Harper and Erick Rowan and said that they are going to be looking for a similar prize. He looked at the belts above the ring again, calling them his “absolution”, he said he will bring change, a change that the WWE Universe has been praying for. Sheamus came out and talked about putting his boot down Bray’s throat. Really good promo. Bray is on fire.

Sheamus and Bray brawled for a bit, until Bray had Sheamus down on the outside, and Rowan and Harper advanced on Sheamus, until The Usos came running out to even the odds. Sheamus was setting up for the Brogue Kick, but Rowan and Harper attacked him and caused a DQ. The Usos then ran over, but they were taken out as well. Sheamus then recovered and hit Bray with a rolling senton, and The Usos regained control over Rowan and Harper. Sheamus then held a ladder against the ropes, allowing The Usos to run up and off it onto Rowan and Harper, Sheamus then threw the ladder at them. Good post-match brawl, with a really cool spot.

The Authority and Vickie Guerrero backstage

Vickie handed Stephanie McMahon her coffee, but Triple H knocked his coffee all over Vickie. Triple H yelled at her to get another coffee, while Stephanie drank hers and commented on how delicious it was.

Stephanie McMahon and Paul Heyman w/ Renee Young

Stephanie was talking to Renee, still drinking her Roman Reigns-doctored coffee, but she began to sweat and ran off.

Heyman then stepped in and talked about why Cesaro must win the Money in the Bank Match. He ran down all the other competitors in the match so far. He talked about how he “spoiled” the end of The Streak, and said he would do the same for Cesaro’s title win.

Lana, Rusev and Heath Slater promo/Heath Slater vs. Rusev

Another brutal Lana promo. It’s the same thing over and over and over. Rusev then said resistance is futile. Rusev apparently speaks English now, which he never has before.

Slater grabbed a mic and told Lana and Rusev to go back to Russia, since they like it so much. The crowd cheered this and chanted “USA”.

Rusev squashed Slater by making him tap to The Accolade. The best part of these Rusev segments is his superkick, it’s just so brutal looking.

The Authority and Vickie Guerrero backstage

Vickie returned with Triple H’s coffee, but Triple H was worried about Stephanie. Triple H had Vickie check on Stephanie, and Stephanie threw up all over Vickie, like, a lot. Triple H then puts Vickie in charge as he and Stephanie leave.

Roman Reigns and Vickie Guerrero backstage

With Vickie still covered in vomit, Reigns continued to lobby to get in the battle royal, and Vickie conceded.

Kevin Hart and Adam Rose w/ Renee Young

Renee was interviewing Hart, but Rose and the Exotic Express interrupted. Rose said Hart needs to stop “thinking like a man, and start thinking like a rosebud.” Hart was really confused, and angry that the Exotic Express sang in his ear.

Fandango and Layla vs. Summer Rae and Adam Rose

Rose won with the Party Foul. After the match, Kevin Hart, who was on commentary, climbed in the ring and danced with Rose, then crowd surfed with him on the Exotic Express. JBL was outraged.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank Qualifying Battle Royal

Roman Reigns won by eliminating Rusev. Reigns had a great performance, and Rusev made a name for himself as well. These battle royals are what they are, but this one accomplished every thing it needed to.

John Cena w/ Renee Young

Cena talked about a secret message he had for The Authority, as he prepared to give them a “hand”. Cena seemed set to flip off the camera, but didn’t in typical Cena fashion. He then did a laugh that sounded straight out of Super Mario Bros. I imagine promos like this are why adult males don’t like him, I wouldn’t know being an adult male that loves him.

Cameron vs. Paige

Cameron literally slapped Paige around a little bit, before Paige came back and made Cameron tap out to the PTO. Still waiting on Paige to get booked like a champion.

Goldust w/ Byron Saxton

Goldust talked about his new tag team partner, and said that he truly is as good as Cody Rhodes billed him last week.

Rybaxel vs. Goldust and Stardust

Cody Rhodes came out as Stardust, Goldust’s new partner. Goldust picked up the win over Curtis Axel. I can’t tell if this is a good or bad turn for Cody.

John Cena vs. Kane in a WWE World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank Qualifying Stretcher Match

Cena had Kane beat, but Seth Rollins and Randy Orton stopped him from rolling him on the stretcher. After Orton hit the RKO, Dean Ambrose came out to help Cena and cleared the ring, before taking a chokeslam from Kane. Cena would gain control and roll Kane up to the stage. Kane would sit up and go for another chokeslam, but Cena would hit the AA onto the stretcher and escape with the victory. Pretty entertaining match. It was a lot better than I thought it would be.

Overall Impression

I really enjoyed this episode. There was a ton of build towards Money in the Bank, especially with the final two spots for the ladder match being filled. I am much more excited for Money in the Bank then I was before this episode. Now, WWE needs to keep this excitement level for two more weeks.

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Tags: RAW WWE