Monday Night RAW – 11/16/09

Did you miss Monday Night RAW?  Shame on you!!!  Here’s what happened for 11/16/09 from NYC:

The show kicked off with Piper’s Pit, starring WWE Hall of Famer, Rowdy Roddy Piper.  His guest was actor, Luis Guzman.  Piper says that he has a special treat for Guzman, since he’s from New York he’s brought in one of the Iron Chefs… The Bella Twins bring out The Iron Sheik who progresses to go on a rant about Hulk Hogan.  Then they all say… “LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT’S MONDAY NIGHT RAW!”

We get our first look at the new RAW Intro package with theme music by Nickelback.  Track is called “Burn it to the Ground.”

The Miz came out to the ring, and talked trash to the NYC fans, saying something to the extent of, I thought you loved champions (crowd boos).  Unlike your Yankees, I didn’t have to buy my title, I earned it!

United States Title Match
The Miz defeated MVP via pin fall after hitting the Skull Crushing Finale to retain the US Title.

Santino Marella defeated Chavo Guerrero via roll up pin fall.  During the match Hornswoggle came out from under the ring to distract Chavo causing the pin.

DX comes out to the ring.  They pander that they’re not going to peddle their merch, as they peddle their merch.  They then address Survivor Series and their triple threat match with John Cena.  Then they turn their attention to Hornswoggle who’s under the ring still wearing the DX gear that they told him to stop wearing and to stop infringing on their gimmick.  They act like they’re going to make him a member of DX and then Triple H hits him with a Pedigree.  They even had a tiny DX stretcher waiting for him!

Video Package: On WWE’s history in Madison Square Garden.

Backstage: Guest Host, Roddy Piper is approached by Chris Jericho who says “you’re just like the other guest hosts, disrespecting me…” all this is said while Piper is blowing his nose!  Piper then brings Chris Masters into the room to flex his pecks to music like he did that dumb ass talent show when Ozzy was hosting.

Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock, is the guest ring announcer for the next match.

Diva’s Title – Lumber Jill Match
Melina defeated Alicia Fox via pin fall after hitting the Last Call (flippy move thing) to retain the Diva’s Title.  After the match there was a Diva melee.

Roddy Piper finally comes to the ring.  Says, “I’ve made my career off of being not so nice!”  “If you mess with Hot Rod, you’re going to end up bald or dead… I’m the reason Hulk Hogan’s got no hair!”  He continues, “I want one more match with Vincent Kennedy McMahon!”

• Mr. McMahon comes out.  Takes a cheap shot saying, “The worst thing you’ve ever done in the Garden was show up tonight… I’m officially retired from ring action.”
• Piper chimes back, “Retired is another word for coward…I beat cancer, and I can beat you!”

Announcement: Jessie Ventura will host Monday Night RAW next week!

Sheamus comes out for a match, and grabs the mic.  Saying “I’ll take on anyone who has the guts to take on the Celtic Warrior!”  He proceeds to the time keepers table and assaults the time keeper.  Jerry Lawler tries to step in, and gets a Pump Kick to the head for his trouble.

Michael Cole, and King’s replacement, Matt Striker, rundown the card for Survivor Series on Sunday (Preview coming at the end of the week).

Jack Swagger defeated Evan Bourne via pin fall after hitting the Gut Wrench Power Bomb.

Roddy Piper comes down to the ring again to see if Vince accepts his challenge… Randy Orton‘s music hits!

• Orton says, “You’ve got a big problem because I’m here…if it’s a fight you want…” Orton beats down Piper.
• Kofi Kingston comes down to save the day, and the brawl gets out of hand into the crowd, and up near the sound tech table.  Kofi hits orton with an equipment case lid, and it looks like Orton started bleeding a bit.  Kofi then hits a Boom Drop on Orton from a railing onto the sound tech table!

Backstage: John Cena talks about the main event tonight, and also about DX and the match up at Survivor Series acting like it’s a handicap match!  Then makes a silly joke about how The Ghostbusters once saved New York from the Marshmallow Man!!!

Main Event – Triple Threat Tag Team Match
John Cena and The Undertaker defeated Chris Jericho & Big Show, and DX via pin fall after Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment on Triple H.  Taker progresses to Tombstone Cena after the match!

QUICK THOUGHTS:

Santino versus Chavo was classic!  They actually wrestled for like all of a minute, but Santino came out with a NY Rangers jersey on.  Stopped Chavo to reveal a Giants jersey, then a Knicks, then a Jets, then a Mets, then a Phillies… WHOOPS!  Then a Yankees jersey!  Too funny!

WTF Triple H?!?!  You Pedigreed Hornswoggle!!!  ASSHOLE!!!  LOL!

After the Diva’s Lumber Jill match there was a melee… someone cue Joey Styles, “CATFIGHT!!!!!!”

Okay already with Sheamus….  Does he really need to assault someone on the crew, and then be the next person to start a feud with The King?  C’mon WWE you can think of something better than that!

Swagger practically squashed Bourned again… what gives?!?  I’m guessing that at Survivor Series that Miz and Swagger will have words continuing their feud for the US Title.

Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton is becoming one of my favorite feuds on RAW.  Tonight, their brawl through the crowd, awesome!  And to top it off, Orton got juiced the hard way!!!

Triple Threat Tag… That’s different.  Usually three tag teams in a match means two guys are in the ring at one time and then the third team has to make a blind tag.  This way works out better because three men, one from each team, are in the ring and they can only tag their partner!  I like it!  I also like the fact that Taker took out Cena!!!  Hehehe!