WWE RAW 3-Hour Thanksgiving Spectacular!

WWE Raw is back this week with a 3-hour Thanksgiving spectacular that did not disappoint!  Here’s what happened:

The night was kicked off by announcing the guest host for the evening, Jessie Ventura.  However, Randy Orton‘s music hits, and he walks out to the ring.

• Orton says, “he’s heard stories from his father that Jessie Ventura was a rule breaker… Orton suggests that Ventura should remove the ban on him getting a WWE Title shot.
• Out walks the Hall of Famer, Jessie Ventura, who says that Orton reminds him of himself.  Ventura also says that he’s bringing something new to WWE since it seems like all the same guys get the title shots, so there’s going to be a series of qualifying matches and the winners make a “Breakthrough Battle Royal” where the winner will become the #1 contender for their brand’s title.

Qualifying Match
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
WINNER: Kofi Kingston via pin fall.  After Ziggler missed his finisher, Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise.

Qualifying Match
Sheamus vs. Finlay
WINNER: Sheamus via pin fall after hitting a Razor’s Edge.  After the match Sheamus attacks Finlay!

Backstage: Teddy Long is thankful for…

• Interrupted by Vickie Guerrero who says that Teddy Long is thankful for having her be named his Smackdown consultant.
• Vickie and Eric Escobar make goo-goo eyes at each other and Teddy teases about hitting Vickie with a platter of mashed potatoes.

Backstage: Jessie Ventura is approached by Randy Orton who claims there’s a conspiracy against him.  Ventura says that he cannot change the stipulations to get into the Breakthrough Battle Royal just for Orton.

CM Punk comes to the ring and talks to the fans about being thankful for being straight edge, and says that people are going to succumb to the vice known as gluttony this Thanksgiving.

CM Punk vs. John Cena (non-title)
WINNER: John Cena via pin fall after hitting an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope.

Backstage: Vince McMahon approaches Jessie Ventura, and says that no matter what he’s not going to wrestle him before Ventura tells him anything.  That wasn’t what Ventura was thinking.  He let’s Vince know that they’re going to turn back the clock, and that the two of them are going to be on the mic again.  He gives McMahon a black suit and a vintage red bow tie to wear.

Qualifying Match
Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters & Jack Swagger vs. MVP, Mark Henry & R-Truth
WINNERS: MVP, Mark Henry, and R-Truth via pin fall after Truth hit his corkscrew punch on Masters.

Backstage: Triple H is pissed at Shawn Michaels and asks why he Super Kicked him at Survivor Series?  HBK says that Trips would’ve hit the Pedigree on him if he didn’t do that first.

• They’re approached by a midget who serves them with papers that they’re to appear in the “Little People’s Court” because they’re being sued by Hornswoggle.

Qualifying Match
Evan Bourne vs. Primo
As Primo walks to the ring, he’s jumped from behind by Randy Orton.  Before he can get his hands on Bourne, Jessie Ventura appears on the screen and says that he will break the rule for Orton if he beats Bourne and that persistence pays off!

Evan Bourne vs. Randy Orton
WINNER: Randy Orton via pin fall after hitting the RKO.

Video Package: The history of Jessie Ventura and Vince McMahon on commentary.

Trailer Premiere: The Marine 2

May Flower Melee – Special Guest Time Keeper, The Gobblety Gooker
Pilgrims (Michelle McCool, Layla & Jillian Hall) vs. Indians (Mickie James, Melina, & Kelly Kelly)
WINNERS: The Indians via pin fall.  After the match, Jerry Lawler came into the ring with the Gobblety Gooker to get a word with Melina when the Gooker attacked her from behind.  Turns out to be Maryse returning from injury and looking to get her title back!

DX vs. Hart Dynasty (with Natalya)
WINNERS: DX via pin fall after both DX members hit their finishing moves.

• Their celebration is interrupted by Chris Jericho who says in three weeks JeriShow will face DX for the Unified Tag Team Titles.  DX says they know already, and that match will be under TLC rules.

Rey Mysterio‘s music hits, but Batista comes out to spirited boos from the crowd.  He rehashes the drama between them and puts everyone in the back on notice that he’s going for The Undertaker or else.

• Kane come to the ring and wants to see what Batista wants to do about it?!?  Batista leaves quietly.

Qualifying Match
Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy
WINNERS: Legacy via pin fall after Ted DiBiase hit Dream Street.

Video Package: Promo for the new Jeff Hardy DVD – My Life. My Rules out next Tuesday!

Backstage: Gail Kim and Alicia Fox get into an argument trying to say what they are thankful for and Santino Marella stops them from starting a food fight.  Santino says, “You should not be fighting, you should be cooking!”  They hit him with pies.  He progresses to insult The Bella Twins and Eve Torres who all hit him with pies as well.  Being blind from cream filling in his eyes, Santino throws his hands up saying what’s the use, and doesn’t realize that Vickie Guerrero walked in with a chocolate pie and he accidentally knocked it into her face!

Breakthrough Battle Royal – McMahon and Ventura on commentary
Order of elimination: R-Truth, MVP, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston
WINNER: Sheamus

After the commercial, a contract signing set has magically appeared in the ring.  Jessie Ventura calls John Cena to the ring.

• Cena says, “I stand before you a champion because this is my life, my passion, everything I’ve got… When you sign that paper you go to war with me!”
• Sheamus replies, “I retire people because I can, but it’s nothing compared to what I’m going to do to you!”
• Both sign the contract and Jessie Ventura states that he thinks there’s a conspiracy in WWE to keep Cena champion.
• While Cena’s attention is on Ventura, Sheamus hits a Pump Kick on Cena and slams him though the table.
• Ventura announces the match will be a Tables match at TLC.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

By leaps and bounds, Jessie Ventura has been the best guest host since they started it on RAW.  Ventura has not lost one step on the microphone!  Now I can see why he became a politician!  Him and McMahon on the mic again was classic!

I’m excited to see that WWE is trying to make some new names.  To devote an entire episode of RAW to giving a chance for the young guys to get the #1 contender spot is a step in the right direction.  I don’t know if it’ll continue, but I’m going to relish it while it’s happening because it may be short lived!

A Thanksgiving episode of RAW has to have a food fight in it, and WWE did not disappoint!  I’m thankful that Vickie Guerrero got a chocolate pie in the face!

Signs of the night:
“Beth Phoenix is my dad!”
“Sheamus is whiter than my sign!”
“Kofi has a bobsled team!”