Monday Night RAW – 11/30/09

This week, Monday Night RAW was guest hosted by actor, Verne Troyer aka Mini-Me!  Here’s what you missed:

Chris Jericho & Big Show came out to the ring to clear the air and wake up the fans who think DX is the best tag team of all time!  Jericho says, “We won the Unified Tag Team Titles our 1st night of existence, and DX, who have been together since 1997 have NEVER won the titles!”

• Interrupted by DX who say that “Jericho is boring us to death and no one gives a crap about them… We make history and have an army of fans!  When we win the titles at TLC, Jericho goes bye-bye back to Smackdown!”  Challenges Y2J to a match, but Show stipulates the match, if Jericho wins, next week is a 2-on-1 handicap match JeriShow vs. Triple H.  If Trips wins, it’ll be DX vs. Jericho.

Backstage: Josh Matthews catches up with Maryse & Jillian Hall who are headed to the ring.  When asked about last week’s attack on Melina, Maryse comments, “I just provided the Trojan horse, and made Melina look like the turkey!”

Gail Kim & Melina vs. Maryse & Jillian Hall
WINNERS: Maryse & Jillian via pin fall after Maryse hit a DDT on Melina.

Video Package: Clips of Sheamus’ journey last week to become the #1 contender for John Cena’s WWE Title.

Sheamus is introduced and takes the mic saying, “Why should Cena take me seriously?  I put him through a table, when I do it again, I’ll become the WWE Champion!”

• His opponent tonight, Santino Marella, comes out but grabs a microphone saying, “Why aren’t you talking about me?  Is it because you’re jealous of me because I have skin pigmentation?  Maybe you think I’m after your Lucky Charms?  Listen up, LAME-ASS…”
• Sheamus snaps and destroys Santino before the bell even goes.  He hit the pump kick, the Razor’s edge and then for good measure, grabs a table and drives Santino through it.  Match doesn’t take place.

Backstage: JeriShow runs into Verne Troyer.  Verne acknowledges Show, but not Jericho who’s pissed that another RAW guest host is disrespecting him!

Verne Troyer is sitting on a stool up on the ramp and calls out The Miz saying he was a jerk back at SummerSlam when they first met.

• Miz interrupts and jokes that he didn’t “see him at the party!”  Then makes a comment that he could get him some cool clothes and make him “Mini-Miz!”
• Verne makes a comment about being better with the ladies, and Miz looks like he’s going to punt Verne until Mark Henry comes out to put a stop to it.
• Miz calls Henry “Fat Bastard” and says that Henry’s got no personality, so Verne decides to make a match between Miz and the World’s Strongest Man!

Kofi Kingston makes his way to the ring for his match against Randy Orton and is jumped by Cody Rhodes.  After Cody goes to the back, Kofi finally gets into the ring and tells the ref he still wants the match.  Orton’s music hits, but Kingston is jumped again, this time by Ted DiBiase.  When DiBiase leaves, Kofi is struggling to stand, but still wants to go against Orton.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
WINNER: Randy Orton via pin fall after hitting the RKO.  After the match, Orton hit a suspended DDT on Kofi with Kingston’s legs hanging from the top rope.

Backstage: Verne Troyer is playing Smackdown vs. RAW 2010 against MVP when Mark Henry catches up with them.

• They’re interrupted by Jillian Hall who wants to sing a song.  MVP gets this bone-head idea that they should let her sing to show that Mark Henry has some personality and that he can dance!
• She sings, he dances, he trips and falls… Right on top of Jillian.  Verne says, “I think she’s dead!”

Backstage: John Cena arrives at the arena, headed for the ring.

• Cena comes to the ring and makes a statement.  Says, “If he has to use the rematch clause, he will use it at the TLC PPV because tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Cena for the WWE Championship!” to the delight of the crowd!
• Interrupted by… Carlito.  He tells Cena “there are plenty of superstars in the back that want Sheamus to beat you because we’re sick of you and how you hog the spotlight!”
• Cena replies, “You picked the wrong guy on the wrong day and if you wanna take me down… Do something!”
• Carlito goes to spit apple at Cena, but Cena’s one step ahead and hits an Attitude Adjustment on Carlito.
• Sheamus comes out looking like he’s going to run down to the ring, but thinks better of it and walks back up the ramp.

Verne Troyer’s back on the ramp and he introduces MVP and Mark Henry.  This time MVP says that as a way to show that Mark Henry has some personality, he’s going to “bust a rhyme!”

Advertisment: Jeff Hardy DVD comes out Tuesday December 1st.

Mark Henry vs. The Miz
WINNER: Mark Henry via pin fall after hitting the World’s Strongest Slam.  After the match, Verne and Mark Henry celebrate on the ramp with some of the Divas.

Backstage: DX both say they had a dream that a little person handed them a piece of paper saying that they’re supposed to appear on the “Little People’s Court.”

• In walks Hornswoggle who spouts some gibberish, and WWE gives him captions saying, “He’s going to seek further persecution against them for failing to appear in court!”
• DX leaves, in rides Verne Troyer on a motorized cart who says that Hornswoggle should “sue them for all they’ve got!”

Chris Jericho vs. Triple H
WINNER: Triple H via roll up pin fall after countering the Walls of Jericho.

• During the match, Big Show and Shawn Michaels, who were on commentary, got involved in the match up and hit their respective finishers on Trips and Jericho.  Both men were removed from ringside and did NOT influence the finish.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

No Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne, or Chavo Guerrero… I never thought I’d say it, but I’m a little upset by this!  I kind of missed seeing them tonight, mainly because we had to deal with stupid segments with Mr. No Personality, the Kool-Aid Man, Mark Henry!

Verne Troyer looks like a baby, and I’m not saying that to make a silly Austin Powers joke.  He looks like he’s a foot tall standing next to guys the size of Mark Henry and Big Show!  I don’t know if he really was the best choice for guest host because of that.

I’m guessing that the Little People’s Court segment is getting pushed back to next week?  So much for having it when there was a little person hosting the show!

I’m shocked that WWE actually had a wrestler say that everyone in the back is sick of Cena!  My guess, Carlito will be getting a little note in the mail for his trouble saying:

• “The WWE regrets to inform you that you’re being released from your duties as a WWE Superstar.  We wish you the best in all of your future endeavors.”

Really looking forward to Sheamus and Cena now.  Seriously, could be one of the most entertaining matches at a WWE PPV in a few months.  Won’t be the most scientific one, but it’s going to be an entertaining brawl that’s going to end with a table being broken in half!

Who wants the Jeff Hardy DVD?  Not me!  That guy’s f**ked up enough times that I refuse to give WWE any more of my money on his merchandise!  Personally, I hope he doesn’t come back until he cleans up for good!

Jericho versus Trips was slightly boring to me.  The most entertaining part of the match, when it was over and I started typing my blog!