The Slammy Awards – 12/14/09

Yesterday was WWE’s end of the year award show known as the Slammy Awards.  It wasn’t the stereotypical Monday Night RAW, but here’s what happened.

Justin Roberts introduces the guest host for the evening, comedian, Dennis Miller.  He comes out and has an opening monologue making quite a few jokes that go over wrestling fans heads.

R-Truth & Jillian Hall present Slammy for Tag Team of the Year
WINNER: JeriShow (Chris Jericho & Big Show)

• Jericho says, “Big Show and Chris Jericho are not just the best tag team of 2009, but of all time!”
• Show then says, “We’re going to retain…retain? (Y2J: Regain) He’s the smart one.  We’re going to regain the Tag Team Titles!”

William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov come out to the ring to say they’re on the same page now, and to prove it they’ve challenged Christian to find 2 partners for a 6-man tag tonight.

• Out walks Christian who has found two partners

William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Christian, The Great Khali & Kane
WINNERS: Christian, Khali & Kane via pin fall after Khali chopped the head of Kozlov.

Tiffany & Teddy Long present the Slammy for Breakout Star of the Year
WINNER: Sheamus

• Sheamus says, “I suppose you people take me seriously now… Roddy Pipper, Paul Orndorf, Curt Hennig & Ricky Steamboat all never won the WWE Championship, I guess I’m better than them!”

Video Package: Rundown on the nominees for Superstar of the Year and a tournament is announced to determine the winner.

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston
WINNER: Thrown Out when Ted DiBiase attacked Kingston.  Evan Bourne comes out to save the day.  Guest Host, Dennis Miller restarts the match as a tag team contest.

Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
WINNERS: Legacy via pin fall after Cody Rhodes hit Cross Rhodes on Evan Bourne.

Vickie Guerrero & Santino Marella present the Slammy for Shocker of the Year
WINNER: CM Punk retires Jeff Hardy

• Punk says, “I want to thank myself because without me none of this would be possible!”

Superstar of the Year Tournament Match
CM Punk vs. John Cena
WINNER: John Cena via submission due to the STF

• After match Cena grabs a mic and apologizes to the fans he let down by losing to Sheamus and says he’ll never give up!

Triple H presents the Slammy for Match of the Year
WINNER: Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker – Wrestlemania

• HBK accepts the award, but then comes back to the microphone and says, “Undertaker, I can beat you!  Tonight I’m throwing down the challenge.  Wrestlemania, you and me, one more time!”

Superstar of the Year Tournament Match
The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton
WINNER: Randy Orton via count out

• Mid match, Legacy came out and distracted Taker while he was beating Orton on the floor.  With the distraction, Orton hits an RKO on the outside then beats the count.
• After match, Taker’s pissed and cleans house.

Vince McMahon presents the Slammy for RAW Guest Host of the Year
WINNER: Bob Barker

• Video Package: Bob Barker accepts his award
• Dennis Miller then suggests a guest host for Mr. McMahon… Bret Hart… Crowd goes bananas!

Backstage: Chris Jericho is with Dennis Miller.  Tells him thank you for not disrespecting me like the other guest hosts.

• Miller then tells him, “You suck the vibe out of the arena because you think the world revolves around you!”

Unified Tag Team Championship Match
DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show
WINNERS: JeriShow via DQ

• 2 seconds into the match, DX pulls some tomfoolery with the referee.  Shawn Michaels went on all fours behind the ref and Triple H pushed the referee causing an instant DQ.  JeriShow wins the match, but not the Tag Titles, and this is their one rematch from the clause in their contract.
• Jericho must now go back to Smackdown for good, and DX has some honorary members from the back come to escort Jericho out of the building.

Carlito, Eve Torres & Chris Masters present the Slammy for Extreme Moment of the Year
WINNER: Jeff Hardy’s 20-foot ladder dive to the announcers table

• Matt Hardy accepts the award on his brother’s behalf, but is attacked by Carlito who then takes the award for himself.
• Chris Masters steps in and helps Matt Hardy to beat down Carlito and give him the award back.

Trailer for WWE’s newest movie, The Marine 2 starring Ted Dibiase.

The Miz, Drew McIntyre & Zack Ryder vs. John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & Mark Henry
WINNERS: Morrison, Tatsu & Henry via pin fall after Tatsu hit Ryder with a spin kick to the head.

7 on 7 Diva Tag Team Match – Heels vs. Faces
WINNERS: Faces via pin fall after Mickie James hit Rosa Mendez with a DDT.

Goldust & MVP present the Slammy for Diva of the Year as voted on by the fans on WWE.com
WINNER: Maria

• Maria starts thanking the fans, and is interrupted by Batista who says, “I’ve won the Slammy for Screwjob of the Year!”
• Batista is dressed in a pink polo and sunglasses to look like Kanye West and the incident he had on the MTV Awards.  He’s then escorted out by police.

Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas & Big Dick Johnson present the Slammy for “Oh My” Moment of the Year
WINNER: Michael Cole pukes at the Thanksgiving party

• Cole disrespects Jim Ross in his speech by saying, “Forget Boomer Sooner… Hook ’em Horns!”
• Dennis Miller comes back to the podium and says, “After seeing Dick Johnson, I have to poke my eyes out with a power drill!”

Backstage: DX has a new commercial to peddle merchandise for Christmas, and they cannot catch Hornswoggle again who’s trying to infringe on their merchandise.

Superstar of the Year Final
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
WINNER: John Cena via pin fall after hitting the Attitude Adjustment countering an Orton punt.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

The opening monologue by Dennis Miller was funny to me.  He compared John Cena to President Barack Obama saying, “One of these men got put through a table, and the other brings nothing to the table!”

Miller also came out about 20 mins though the show and said something to the extent of, “Damn these writers.  If I would’ve known that saying SUCK IT would get the crowd all riled up I would’ve skipped the monologue!”

This is the 2nd year in a row that Shawn Michaels has been part of Match of the Year.  Last year’s Wrestlemania match against Ric Flair also won him a Slammy.

During the DX commercial they had a new product to peddle… a FREAKING SNUGGIE!!!  WTF!?!?  Everyone is jumping on the Snuggie band wagon now!

The DX match with JeriShow wasn’t really much of a match.  It was typical DX shenanigans and for once recently, I found it amusing.  DX is slowly starting to wear on me, but Jericho’s reaction was priceless.  He looked like he was going to cry!