TNA Impact! – 4/5/10
After Team Hogan made the first move last week, how would Team Flair respond? Find out what happened on TNA Impact, right here, right now:
Video Package: Last week, Abyss announced the 2nd member of Team Hogan, Jeff Jarrett.
Backstage: Christy Hemme announces that the TNA Knockouts will have a Lockbox Showdown. It’s an eight Knockout’s Elimination Tag Team match. On a pin fall, both winner/loser are eliminated from the match. Loser gets nothing. Winner gets a key to a lock box that holds one of four things:
- A contract for a match, anytime, against anyone
- Tara’s spider, Poison
- The TNA Knockout’s Title
- Must perform a striptease for the crowd
- The Beautiful People join Hemme and claim that they’re going to take three of the four boxes. Lacey Von Erich, who walked in wearing just a towel, hopes that she gets the striptease and says, “everybody wins!”
Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, and Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. “If Ric Flair wants to be a big dog, then he’s got to deal with the big dogs of Team Hogan!”
- Abyss takes mic, “When they lower the top of that cage, you will understand the meaning of pain and suffering!”
- Interrupted by Flair (Wheeled by Chelsea), along with Sting, Desmond Wolfe, and Beer Money Inc. “That’s your team..? Look at mine!” He raves about his team for a few minutes. “One more thing, Abyss, I’ve got my Hall of Fame ring and in St. Louis, I’m going to shove it down your throat!”
- Hogan chimes in, “Don’t sell me short. We’ve got a full team and you’ll find out when the time is right!”
- Team Flair approaches the ring, and Jeff Jarrett takes the mic to ask Sting a question. Sting is the only one who gets in the ring. “Why now Sting has the darkness come out of you? These people deserve to know!” Sting doesn’t answer and Jarrett slaps him across the face. Melee breaks out in the ring with all superstars.
- Rob Van Dam & Jeff Hardy come through the crowd to save the day.
Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm
WINNER: Rob Van Dam via pin fall after hitting a Split Legged Moonsault
- After match, Storm hit RVD in the face with a beer bottle.
- Jeff Hardy comes to ring to check on RVD and he’s attacked from behind by Robert Roode.
Backstage: Christy Hemme is with Hamada, Tara, Angelina Love & ODB. Tara’s upset because she could lose not just her TNA Knockout Title tonight, but her spider poison. Angelina Love wants Tara’s title. ODB wants contract to face anyone (she mentions AJ Styles). Hamada says something in Japanese.
TNA Global Title
Homicide vs. Rob Terry (Champion)
WINNER: Terry via pin fall after hitting a power slam
- After match, Homicide hit Terry with two chair shots, one to the back & one to the head. Terry “no sells” both shots and choke slams Homicide.
- After the incident, Orlando Jordan has a bizarre moment on the ramp squirting himself with some lotion.
Eight Knockout Elimination Tag Match – Lock Box Showdown
Tara, Hamada, Angelina Love & ODB vs. The Beautiful People & Daffney
- Pin falls scored by Tara, Daffney, Velvet Sky & Angelina Love. They all received a key to a lock box to be opened later in the broadcast.
Video Package: The rivalry between Kurt Angle & Mr. Anderson has come to this… Tonight, they will compete in a ladder match!
Ladder Match – Key to cage at Lockdown
Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
WINNER: Anderson via grabbing the key after using Angle’s Warrior Medal to choke him out
Backstage: Jeremy Borash catches up with Hulk Hogan to get his reaction to Eric Bischoff last week going into business for himself. Hogan tells JB that he’ll deal with Bischoff behind closed doors.
- Interrupted by Bubba the Love Sponge who talks some crap to Borash. Hogan calls Bubba for joining up with The Band, and Bubba blows Hulk off and leaves.
- Jay Lethal walks up and Machismo tells Hogan that whenever he needs him, he’s got his back!
Backstage: The Band arrives at the Impact Zone and meets up with Bubba the Love Sponge.
Backstage: Christy Hemme is with Matt Morgan who keeps referring to himself as “WE” as he holds both Tag Team Titles, and how the tag team titles will be defended still even though Hernandez is on the shelf with an injury (that Morgan inflicted).
Video Package: From UK’s show, TNA Epics, footage of Team 3D & Motor City Machine Guns having a match that ended in a double pin fall. Controversy erupted and now we don’t have a #1 contender for the tag titles.
#1 Contender’s Match – Tag Team Titles
Team 3D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon) vs. Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelly)
WINNERS: No Contest as The Band ran in and destroyed both teams
- After beat down, Kevin Nash took the mic, “We might not be signing the checks, but we’re still running the show… Hogan, you’re looking at your worst nightmare!”
Backstage: Jeremy Borash is with “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero who comments on his loss last week to Desmond Wolfe, who coincidentally interrupts the segment saying, “Where I come from, people don’t get second chances. They should promote me against AJ (Styles) at Lockdown…”
- Pope says, “No excuses, you beat me. You want AJ at Lockdown? You beat me tonight, you got it!”
The TNA X-Division Champion, Doug Williams comes to the ring, “The days of acrobats and trapeze artists of the X-Division are over, either that or they could go back to school and learn technical wrestling.” Says he wants to be known as Douglas Williams (OK Doug!)
Gauntlet Match
Doug Williams vs. Generation Me (Jeremy & Max Buck)
WINNER: Williams in both falls. First via pin fall after hitting Chaos Theory on Jeremy. Second via submission on Max by Guillotine Choke.
- After match, Shannon Moore ran down and beat up on Williams a little bit before he bailed out. Moore challenged him to a match at Lockdown.
Backstage: Christy Hemme is with Team 3D. They’re pissed off at The Band and issue them a challenge for next week!
Desmond Wolfe with Chelsea vs. D’Angelo Dinero
WINNER: Dinero via pin fall after hitting a Lung Blower
- After match, AJ Styles jumps “The Pope” from behind right into the camera man. He throws him back into the ring and hits the Styles Clash.
- Abyss tries to run in, but AJ bails. When Abyss’ back is turned AJ jumps back in and chop blocks him. Wolfe then hits Abyss with a fire extinguisher.
Jeremy Borash is on the entrance ramp with the four winning Knockouts to hold the opening of the lockboxes.
- Velvet Sky opens her lockbox first, and she has an open contract to challenge anyone she wishes in any kind of match.
- Tara opens her box second, and she got her spider, Poison back!
- Angelina Love and Daffney open their boxes simultaneously. Love got the Knockout’s Title and Daffney got the striptease.
- JB sends Daffney to the ring, and she reluctantly begins to do anything that remotely looks like stripping when Lacey Von Erich runs to the ring and hits her with the ugly stick and takes off her robe to reveal some lingerie.
- All the while on the ramp, Angelina Love and Tara are fighting it out towards the ring.
- Velvet Sky thinks this is the perfect time to grab the mic. She wants to use her open contract next week against Angelina for the Knockout’s Title in a Leather and Lace match.
QUICK THOUGHTS:
So the whole idea around the Knockout’s Lock Box Showdown match was basically to get the TNA Knockout’s title on someone else and to let the whole world see Lacey Von Erich in lingerie… Well let’s just put it this way, I’m not going to complain about seeing Lacey half naked. I will say I’m just sick of belts being used as props and I’ll leave it at that because I don’t want to go on a cuss filled rant right now.
Also, to add to my rant list, of the seven matches tonight on Impact, all but two of them (Women’s Tag and Ladder Match) had extra circular activities. Why can’t matches just have a clear winner and loser and that’s it?!? It just seems like TNA has this itch to do a run in or a post match beat down every chance they get and it’s irritating!
The ladder match finish was pretty good. I liked the way that it was booked and you actually thought that Kurt Angle might still pull through and grab the key, but to no avail! Looking forward to their match at Lockdown.
What has two thumbs and wishes Bubba the Love Sponge would go away..? THIS GUY!