TNA Impact – 5/3/10

The big buzz going into last night’s episode of Impact was the fact that TNA had a major announcement for the fans.  What could that announcement possibly be?  Read on and find out for yourself:

Video Package: Highlights from last week’s edition of Impact.

Video Package: Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff in a limo talking.  We overhear them mention something about a new superstar’s airplane touching down soon, as well as Hogan saying that he’s going to call out Sting later and that Ric Flair is going to fly off the handle tonight.

Taz & Mike Tenay make the announcement from Dixie Carter that TNA is listening to their fans, and moving Impact back to Thursday nights starting May 13th!  Also, minor announcement that Spike TV has picked up the TNA Reaction show.

Ric Flair’s music hits, but instead out walks a normal looking Jay Lethal.  He takes the microphone and is not doing his normal “machismo” shtick, but instead he’s acting like Ric Flair.  We also see that he has the Hall of Fame ring that Abyss won from Flair last week.  Lethal goes for a few minutes acting like Flair in the ring until the real Nature Boy comes out pissed off.

• Flair takes a mic, “Do you know where you are right now?  In this world you’re trying to make a living in, you’re standing in front of god… you want to be Ric Flair..?”
• Lethal feels threatened and tells Flair he was just joking around and gives him the ring back.  He also tells him that this is the greatest moment of his life because he’s standing in the ring with Ric Flair.
• Flair slaps him twice… “Tell your mother that the single greatest moment of your life turned into the saddest second of your life!”  Flair slaps him again and this time Lethal fights back, eventually putting him in the Figure Four Leglock.
• The Team Flair goons, AJ Styles, Desmond Wolfe & Beer Money, all come out to save Flair.  Eventually, Abyss, Team 3D & Rob Van Dam all come out to save the day.

Video Package: Hogan and Bischoff in the limo again.  This time Hogan get’s a text message about what just happened with Lethal, and has the limo driver go back to the Impact Zone.

Back in the ring, RVD takes the microphone.  (To Flair) “Instead of you beating on Macho Dude, how about you four horses-asses get down here for a fair fight!”

• Flair and the troops head back to the ring and more brawling occurs.
• Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he comes to the ring.  He fights off every member of Team Flair along the way, and eventually throws Flair out of the ring himself.
• After a commercial break, security is trying to keep the wrestlers at bay.  Hogan makes some matches for tonight.  It’s going to be a TNA Title match with RVD vs. Desmond Wolfe, a Monster’s Ball match with Abyss vs. AJ Styles, and a Triple Threat Tag match with Beer Money vs. Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns.
• Sting showed in the rafters looking on.

Backstage: The Beautiful People getting ready and complaining about how they have to defend their titles again.

Brian Kendrick & Doug Williams (with Kazarian‘s X-Division Title) are in the ring.  Williams takes mic, “Due to travel conditions beyond my control, I’ve been stripped of the X-Division Title?!?  Half the world is shut down and I’m punished?!?  Kazarian if you want to be the real champion, then you’ll have to beat me at Sacrifice!”

Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick vs. Ink Inc (Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal)
WINNERS: Ink Inc. via pin fall after a vicious Spear by Neal on Kendrick

• Mid match, Matt Morgan joins the guys on commentary and is pissed that he’s got to defend the Tag Team Titles at Sacrifice against Ink Inc. with a partner of Hulk Hogan’s choosing.
• After match, Williams and Kendrick weren’t getting along and started fighting it out a bit when Samoa Joe came out and knocked down Williams, and then dragged Kendrick to the ring where he beat him down and hit a Muscle Buster.

Backstage: Jeremy Borash is going to get a word with Team Flair when he’s kicked out of their locker room.  Cameras roll and we see Flair trying to get his troops all pumped up for their matches.

Backstage: Hulk Hogan talking about his issues with Sting and wonders where Sting went wrong.

Backstage: Mr. Anderson, dressed like an altar boy, is attacking “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  After the beat down, Anderson steals Pope’s shades.

Mr. Anderson comes to the ring, “Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation, I stand before you at a loss for words… I had a tremendous sermon prepared, but I had a realization… when I die, I will NOT go to heave, but in fact burn in hell…”

• Interrupted by Jeff Hardy, “You know the congregation and the creatures of the night are one in the same… I need a match at Sacrifice, a match against you!”
• Anderson responds, “You’re challenging me?!?  Nah.  I’ve got something going on that night…”  Anderson tries to sucker punch Hardy, but gets hit by a Twist of Fate.
• Hardy then asks the question again for a match, and moves Anderson’s lips and fills in the voice himself to accept the match.

6 Knockout Tag Match – All Titles On The Line
The Beautiful People (KO & KO Tag Champions) vs. Tara, Taylor Wilde & Sarita
WINNERS: The BPs via pin fall after a Double DDT on Sarita

• Mid match, Tara attacked her own teammates causing them to lose focus.

Backstage: Christy Hemme grabs Tara for a word.  Tara uses the time to challenge Madison Rayne to a match for the TNA Knockout Title.  Tara is willing to “sacrifice” her career for it!

Team 3D vs. Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Winners: No Contest

• Referee threw the match out because The Band came down and attacked Team 3D.
• Eric Young comes to the ring with kendo stick in hand, but he’s now aligned himself with The Band and attacks 3D.
• The Guns attack The Band, and then Beer Money attacks the Guns.

Orlando Jordan was given his own segment called the O-Zone.  He introduces his guest, “The Freak” Rob Terry, and then unveils a cardboard cut out of the Global Champion to talk to.

• Taz & Mike Tenay make comments as to how long this segment’s going to run considering OJ’s talking to a piece of cardboard.
• OJ makes some crude comments about Rob Terry fantasizing about him, which prompts The Freak to come out, knock Jordan down, and tear the cardboard cut out of himself.
• OJ takes exception and attacks Terry with a chain, choking him out and then hits him with a piece of the set.

Monster’s Ball Match – No DQ/Weapons Encouraged
AJ Styles vs. Abyss
WINNER: Styles via pin fall after a cross body onto thumb tacks

• Mid match, Abyss was distracted by Ric Flair dragging Chelsea down to ring side.  He tried to save her from Flair and Styles took advantage.

TNA World Title Match
Rob Van Dam (Champion) vs. Desmond Wolfe
WINNER: RVD via pin after hitting a Five Star Frog Splash

• After match, AJ Styles jumped RVD and said that he’s getting his rematch for the TNA Title at Sacrifice.

Backstage: Hulk Hogan tending to Jeff Jarrett who was just beat down by the bat of Sting (not seen).

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring and calls out Sting.  “The Icon” walks to the ring with baseball bat in hand.  Hogan asks him, what makes him tick?

• Sting answers, “It’s TNA!  That’s what makes me tick… My agenda is to give back to the sport of wrestling, which I love so much… In TNA you don’t have protection (to Hulk)…”
• Hulk responds, “So it’s not about TNA, it’s about you and me… Stinger, you still have blood on your hands (referring to Jarrett).
• Sting laughs that off, and tells Hulk it’s his move.  Hulk tells Sting to take his best shot!  Sting decides on not using the bat and throws it down, not realizing that Jeff Jarrett is getting in the ring.  Jarrett picks up the bat and clocks Sting with it.
• Hulk stops Jarrett from going to far as Impact goes off the air.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

Impact last night was average at best for me.  The big announcement was essentially canceling the war.  TNA said that they’ve listened to their fans and are moving back to Thursday nights.  I call bull shit on them.  What they didn’t say was that they got better ratings on Thursdays, and because of that move we’re not scoring a one in the ratings.  Hell, NXT is beating them!  That’s the underlying message in the announcement.  I’m glad they’re moving back to Thursdays though.  It’s better for them to just focus on their own product than the idea of “competing” against WWE.

I’ve got to give Jay Lethal some credit.  He had me rollin’ with his impression of Ric Flair.  Didn’t care for how the segment just ultimately turned into a 20 minute (approx.) brawl though.

I’m glad that they allowed Doug Williams to express his discontent with being stripped of the X-Division Title.  When I watched Lockdown, I was pissed that was the way they took the belt from him.  There’s a big difference in no showing a booking, but when travel in most of the world stops, you cannot punish one person for it.

Not sure about Mr. Anderson in the altar server garments.  That was a little bizarre… I can’t help but wonder since he’s been with TNA how many threats he’s gotten because it just seems like he tries so hard to get real heat from fans, and going so far as mocking the Catholic/Christian church might piss a lot of people off.

The TNA Knockouts division is a joke now.  It seems like no one gives a crap anymore over there if their women succeed or not.  Talent wise, they’re still better than WWE, but when it comes to the writing and time given on the air to tell that story, they’re just barely above WWE now.

Eric Young joins The Band after being betrayed by Kevin Nash… WOW!  You assholes in TNA Creative can’t make up your minds, can you?  Why would anyone in their right mind join up with a group of guys who beat the crap out of you and betrayed your trust?

Orlando Jordan’s segment was ridiculous.  I wish he’d go away!

The Monster’s Ball match and the World Title match were pretty average too.  Nothing too exciting for me in them.

The showdown between Hogan and Sting was pretty lackluster.  I thought we were going to have an argument or something between them, but it was just another beat down by Jeff Jarrett.  I think Sting is sort of representing us, the fans.  He’s not evil, but he still questions Hulk Hogan’s motives in coming to TNA.