TNA Impact – 5/13/10

TNA Impact is back to its regular Thursday time spot and I’m excited!  This is the last Impact episode before the Sacrifice PPV.  Who would gain some momentum heading into this Sunday?  Find out right here:

Video Package: Clips from last week’s Impact.  Hulk Hogan calls out Sting. Jeff Jarrett jumps Sting.  Rob Van Dam successfully defends his TNA Title against Desmond Wolfe.  AJ Styles attacks RVD and says he’s using his rematch clause at Sacrifice.

Eric Bischoff comes to the ring and kisses the fans butts for a moment, then introduces RVD.  Bischoff tells him and the fans more about the Top 10 ranking system, and says that Jeff Hardy is next on the list for a title shot, but they haven’t been able to get a hold of him today, so there will be no TNA Title match tonight.

• RVD says, “The best part about being TNA Champion is defending the belt.  No days off for me.”
• Interrupted by AJ Styles who comes to the ring.  “You want to wrestle tonight?  I’m in the mood to hurt somebody.  I AM TNA and TNA is AJ Styles!  They (crowd) didn’t come here to see some Cheech and Chong sideshow.”
• Interrupted by Jeff Hardy.  He apologizes for being late and is ready for his match tonight.  Hardy thinks it should be a three-way… AJ’s pissed.
• RVD & Bischoff agree.  Match is made!

Backstage: Jeremy Borash is with The Beautiful People and he asks about Madison Rayne‘s Knockout Title match this weekend against Tara where if Tara loses, she’ll quit wrestling.  Madison thinks it’s time for someone else to run with the ball for a bit.  Velvet Sky concurs with Madison.  Lacey Von Erich is doing a little dance and has to run to go pee!

Taylor Wilde vs. Tara
WINNER: Tara via kick to the gut

• After match, Tara uses her knee brace and beats Taylor with it.
• Sarita runs out to save he tag team partner.

Backstage: There’s a commotion in the back.  People are crowding around Chelsea who’s crying.  Desmond Wolfe is trying to get everyone back from her.

• Christy Hemme reports that Chelsea was attacked as police are questing her.

Doug Williams comes to the ring with the X-Division Title (Not official champion).  He says, “Brian Kendrick isn’t worthy of a title shot, so this match is non-title!”

Doug Williams vs. Brian Kendrick
WINNER: Kendrick via pin fall roll up

• Kazarian is on commentary.  He goes to the ring to take what he earned, the X-Division Title.  It distracts Williams for Kendrick pin fall victory.

Backstage: Christy Hemme updates us on Chelsea… She asks one TNA official about the attacker.  He cannot say, but he’s in total disbelief.

• After a commercial break, Hemme tells us that she knows the name of the accused attacker, but cannot say until the person is in police custody.

Generation Me vs. Matt Morgan
WINNER(S): No Contest

• Mid match, Morgan asks for a mic.  He demands that Hulk Hogan name his partner for Sacrifice or there will be bloodshed.
• Moments later, Samoa Joe‘s music hits… Joe and Morgan battle it out and eventually Joe gets the best of Morgan and hits the Muscle Buster.
• Post brawl, The Band comes out to the ring with a Feast or Fired case that Kevin Nash won back about four months ago.  He’s going to cash it in for a Tag Team Title shot while Morgan is laid out.

Tag Team Title Match
The Band (Kevin Nash & Scott Hall) vs. Matt Morgan (Champion)
WINNERS: The Band via pin fall to become the new TNA Tag Team Champions

Backstage: Ink Inc. talking strategy about their match this Sunday now that The Band are the Tag Team Champions.

Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money Inc. vs. Ink Inc.
WINNERS: Ink Inc. via pin fall after Jesse Neal hit Brother Ray with a spear

Backstage: Ric Flair is excited because AJ Styles gets a match with both RVD and Jeff Hardy.  He knows that AJ will win even though he cannot be at ringside.

Backstage: RVD and Hardy bull shitting before their triple threat match.

TNA Global Title match is supposed to take place.  Champion Rob Terry comes to the ring, but his opponent, Abyss, does not.

Backstage: Police are arresting Abyss and are about to put him in the squad card for assaulting Chelsea.

• Hulk Hogan comes out to help things, but they have to take Abyss in to the station and want his mask off.  Hulk takes the mask off Abyss and covers him with the hood of his sweatshirt.

Back in the ring, Orlando Jordan jumps Rob Terry from behind and beats him down with a pipe.  He then pulls out a deck of playing cards and places one on Terry’s chest that says “Wild Card.”

• After Terry’s helped out of the ring, OJ takes the mic, “I do what I want to.  I say what I want to because I’m the TNA Wild Card.”  He then issues an open challenge to anyone in the back.

Orlando Jordan vs. Tomko
WINNER: Jordan via referee stoppage after locking on a guillotine choke

Backstage: Hulk is upset about Abyss.  Lacey Von Erich walks into the room and tells him that this is all one big mistake.  She shows him her phone and he watches a video.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is forcing Tara to fight in another match tonight after her incident earlier.  Sarita wanted this match.

Sarita vs. Tara
WINNER: Tara via pin fall after hitting Sarita with her knee brace while the ref was injured by en errant elbow

Video Package:  What is with Sting and his inexplicable turn for the worse.  At Sacrifice, Sting and Jeff Jarrett will finally clash!

Non-Title Triple Threat Match
RVD vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy
WINNER: Styles via pin fall with his feet on the ropes

• Mid match, Mr. Anderson came out and attacked Jeff Hardy.  RVD goes to help his friend.
• Post match, Hardy calls out Anderson to get back in the ring.  Anderson walks away only to have his path blocked by The Hulkster.
• Hardy and Anderson brawl all over the Impact Zone and the fight was capped off by Hardy hitting a Swanton off the announce platform on a Anderson who was placed on a table on the floor.

Video Package: Camera phone footage from Lacey Von Erich of Chelsea and Desmond Wolfe plotting to frame Abyss for assault.

Video Package: Sacrifice THIS Sunday on PPV.  Card is run down.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

Well it’s nice to see TNA back on Thursday.  I have to admit, it just didn’t feel right on Mondays to me.  That and the fact that I had to watch/review three shows in one night wasn’t cool.  That’s a lot of typing in a short time span.

TNA’s Knockout division is just slightly above WWE’s Divas now.  TNA has the better wrestlers, but the product they put out there is going to hell in a hand basket.  Tonight just sucked majorly for the women.

I thought Dixie Carter wanted to push young guys like Matt Morgan..?  I guess that’s over and done with.  Now the old guys of The Band have the tag titles.  That’s just crappy in my opinion.  Get rid of those guys already!  Hell, I hope Ink Inc. takes the titles at Sacrifice.  They’re crappy, but anything is better than Hall/Nash having them.

The assault angle was a piece of work…  First the fake crying from Chelsea.  Then the arrest of Abyss in which the police officers DID NOT actually handcuff him (he was holding the cuffs behind his back).  Then the removal of his mask and the glimpse of him in the car without it.  Then finally the pee-break video from Lacey.  Wow!  I mean c’mon TNA.  At the beginning of the night, you announced that Wolfe was going to face Abyss in a match at Sacrifice, Chelsea’s services against the HOF Ring, and then the assault angle happens.  REALLY?!?  I knew from that first moment that they were going to blame that shit on Abyss!  That was totally weak!

TNA Sacrifice on PPV starts at 5pm on the west coast this Sunday.  I will have previews up for you on Sunday before the show.