Monday Night RAW – 5/24/10

One night after Over The Limit, the superstars of Monday Night RAW were in Toledo, OH and ready to battle it out on the way to the next PPV, Fatal 4 Way.  There were two big surprises last night, what were they?  Find out right here:

Video Package: Last night at Over The Limit, John Cena defeated Batista in an I Quit Match.  After the match was over, Sheamus attacked Cena, putting him on notice.

Batista is announced, and comes down to the ring with help from two referees.  He’s hobbling, has his ribs taped, and his arm in a sling.  The referees have a wheelchair placed in the ring for him to sit down in.  Batista takes the mic, “Last night, Batista said I Quit.  I said it because my life was being threatened.  So because of Cena’s malicious actions I’m contemplating filing suit against Cena, the WWE, and every fan that supports his actions… So now I’m out for weeks, months, or even years… When I get back I will have a rematch…”

• Interrupted by Justin Roberts who announces the NEW General Manager of RAW, “The Hitman” Bret Hart.  He comes to the ring, “There’s a new sheriff in town!  If Cena’s champion at Fatal 4 Way, he’ll face three competitors who will qualify tonight… If you (Batista) want your rematch you’ll qualify fr the Fatal 4 Way right now against an equally beat up Randy Orton.”
• Batista throws a fit saying he’s hurt and Bret doesn’t have the authority to do this, and if he forces him, he’ll quit!
• Bret makes the announcement via forfeit, Randy Orton qualifies for the Fatal 4 Way.
• Batista flies off the handle and tells the world that he quits WWE.

Fatal 4 Way Qualifier
Mark Henry vs. Sheamus
WINNER: Sheamus via pin fall after hitting a Pump Kick

Backstage: Guest host, Jon Lovitz is on the phone talking to Vince McMahon about his payment for tonight, when Maryse walks in.  She says she has hot photos that will win his Superstar Search (Later).

• Lovitz plugs his comedy club and says he’s been teaching Santino Marella a submission hold, some sort of jugular pinch.  He offers to teach Maryse… She blows him off… He then says something to her in French, and then says in English that he’s got millions of dollars.
• Maryse then all of a sudden is interested in him.  Lovitz blows her off.

Backstage: Bret Hart is talking to Edge who thinks he deserves a 1 on 1 title match.  He’s upset that Orton did nothing to qualify for Fatal 4 Way.  Edge thinks he should get to face an injured John Cena for the spot…

• Interrupted by Chris Jericho who thinks he’s gotten the short end of the stick one too many times.  He demands that he gets the spot in the Fatal 4 Way match.
• Hart makes a match Jericho vs. Edge vs. Cena.  If Jericho or Edge win, they qualify.  If neither of them win, neither qualify.
• Edge and Jericho make comments about how they’re better than the other two men in the room.

Alicia Fox & Maryse vs. Eve Torres & Gail Kim
WINNERS: Fox/Maryse via pin fall after a French Kiss by Maryse on Eve

Video Package: Last week, Bret Hart defeats The Miz to become the United States Champion

ANNOUNCEMENT: Bret Hart relinquishes the US Title, and it’s now vacant.

United States Title Match (Vacant)
R-Truth vs. The Miz
WINNER: R-Truth via pin fall after hitting the Lie Detector to become the NEW US Champion

Backstage: Josh Matthews with John Cena asks about the I Quit match.  Cena responds, “I was beat up, banged up, but never gave up… Hearing Batista say ‘I Quit,’ it felt good, finally closure… Then I got kicked in the face by Sheamus… Every champion has a choice  to run or fight.  I choose to fight… you see me coming you bring your A-game!”

Jon Lovitz and The Bella Twins come out to the ring.  He presents to the crowd his Superstar Search talent show.

• The Great Khali & Ranjin Singh come out in tuxedos, top hats and canes singing “Putting on the Ritz.”  They get buzzed off show.
• Next out is Jillian Hall, who doesn’t even open her mouth and she’s buzzed off instantly.
• Lovitz says this is a waste of time, then turns to the crowd for some talent.  He picks a guy (plant) from the crowd, who claims he can pull his eye ball out of his face.  (fake eye)
• Interrupted by Ted DiBiase & Virgil who come to the ring.  DiBiase wants the guy’s eye and asks how much he wants for it.  If he doesn’t give it to him, he’s going to beat him up and take it.
• Santino Marella comes out to help the “cyclops boy” and threatens to hit Virgil with the jugular pinch submission move that Lovitz was talking about earlier.  He does it and Virgil falls over.
• Santino is shocked that it worked and then tries again on DiBiase and this time it fails.  DiBiase hits Santino with Dream Street.

Non-Title Match
Hart Dynasty vs. Vladimir Kozlov & William Regal
WINNERS: Harts via pin fall after hitting the Hart Attack

• Post match beat down of the Harts by some new, unidentified tag team and their female manager.

Backstage: Josh Matthews is with the NXT final four rookies.  He asks them who they think will be eliminated next?  Three of them say Heath Slater. Slater himself says he wants David Otunga gone, and they start going nose to nose about it.

Jerry Lawler brings up the fact that Michael Cole got slapped around last week on NXT by rookie Daniel Bryan.  A video package is shown of the incident.  Cole then says on NXT he’ll demand an apology from Bryan and if he doesn’t get it, he’ll sue him for everything he’s got.

Backstage: Edge is prepping for his match.  Jericho enters the locker room.  They both know Cena’s hurt, and it’s going to be a race to pin Cena first.  Edge says maybe he’ll just pin Jericho instead.

Fatal 4 Way Qualifier
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge
WINNER: Edge via pin fall after hitting Jericho with a Spear

• Post match, all the four competitors are now set for the Fatal 4 Way, they all come out to the arena and glare at each other.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

What a way to kick off RAW!  Bret Hart named GM and Batista quits!  Just great!

Sort of crappy how Randy Orton qualifies for the Fatal 4 Way, but considering his possible injury from Over The Limit, I understand they don’t want to have him hurt himself any further.  I sort of figured it would also be Sheamus and Edge also in the match up.

R-Truth is the new US Champion… great! (sarcasm)  Miz was screwed over, and it’s just crap that he doesn’t have a belt now!

The silly Superstar Search talent show was a giant waste of time.  In fact, haven’t we seen this before with Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne?

I don’t know who the new tag team is that attacked the Hart Dynasty, but I’m guessing they’re from Florida Championship Wrestling.  They’ll probably have more about them next week.