Plan B: What If These Five WWE Superstars Were Fired?

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Curtis Axel – Disgruntled TSA Security

Oh, Curtis Axel. I guess the best thing we can say about him is at least he is not still Michael McGillicutty. Mr. Perfect’s next of kin has had plenty of speed bumps since entering the WWE in 2010. First, he was trying to avoid being his dad. Then he was trying too hard to be his dad. Next up he was in tag team purgatory with Ryback. He did gain traction in January after never officially being eliminated from the Royal Rumble. He claimed he was the true winner and that “Axelmania” had arrived. Of course, then he went uber-Hulkamania, in full costume, to the point of being a comedy act with Macho Mandow. Thankfully the WWE Network lets fans under 30 get up to speed if they use the archives. But if I was Curtis Axel, and WWE let me go, I would feel pretty disgruntled. And where can you find the most disgruntled people in the world? The TSA.

TSA personnel are different based on the city. In small markets like Dayton, Ohio or Peoria, Illinois it’s like they are one big happy family. In New York and Los Angeles, there are so many TSA agents that they take turns being monotonous or sluggish, always waiting for the other agent to do the pat-down. Axel would be the loner in the small mom-and-pop airport like you would find in Butte, Montana or Augusta, Maine. He would want to get the line over with, never make small talk with the travelers and not even look at them when verifying photo IDs. And if TSA ever wants nothing to do with him, send him to baggage. Because if Axel sees a fragile sticker, you can count on him going Ace Ventura on it.

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