Five More People WWE Security Should Tackle

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Sep 20, 2015; Orchard Park, NY, USA; New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski (87) celebrates a touchdown during the first half against the Buffalo Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Patriots beat the Bills 40-32. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

Rob Gronkowski

Whether you like the New England Patriots or not, never had a team been more distracted going into the Super Bowl. Constant speculation, exaggerated sanctions from Roger Goodell, and endless media scrutiny stayed in the Patriots ear for two straight weeks. Plus everyone had to tolerate another word ending in “gate.” However, even if you are proud of the Patriots, it is still okay to hate on their star tight end Rob Gronkowski, because even though defenses can’t tackle him, WWE Security should.

Gronk, who is portrayed by the media, accurately or inaccurately, as half-Incredible Hulk, half-fraternity boy stereotype comes off like the kind of person that would go with you to Boneless Thursday at Buffalo Wild Wings, eat forty wings and then leave early to avoid paying because he has a table reserved at the local strip club. Now organizing his own mass cruise to the Bahamas, Gronk is again avoiding the tab, as he is totally fine with 1,000 strangers hanging out on a boat with him after the season. In fact, you should sign up:

The tragic thing about WWE Security taking down Gronk is that he has a connection to WWE. One of his best friends is NXT’s Mojo Rawley. He even showed up at Mojo’s first match at Full Sail after injury. Will Gronk ever come off like someone who will say you’re cool in exchange for letting him cheat off you during the big test? Hard to say, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Gronk chooses the film room over the playbook anyway.

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