7 Ways to Unrealistically Boost WWE Raw Ratings

Idea No. 5 – Raw Features Rosa Mendes Doing ASL

So we already have the SAP/VKM and closed-captioning buttons on our remote. But let’s not ignore those who are hard of hearing. If the New York City Mayor’s office has taught us anything, it is that interpreters can be hilarious. Rosa Mendes learning and performing American Sign Language would be commendable and captivating, but also unintentionally hilarious. If you were flipping channels and came across this Latina bombshell doing ASL while musclebound acrobats are flipping in the background, you would keep watching. It’s why we have had attractive “weatherbunnies” on the local news… or at least episodes of Married… With Children.

Idea No. 6 – Arrest Poor WWE Creative Writers Onscreen In a FIFA-like Manner.

There is nothing wrong with trying something new. Bruce Wayne’s father has shown us that it’s not that we fall, it’s what we do when we get back up. But if you do fall let’s have fun with it. For example, last week, WWE gave us Adam Rose’s ‘Rosebush,’ a milquetoast version of David Spade’s SNL “Hollywood Minute.” It left viewers thinking three words: Poor Adam Rose.”

Why not show police officers with a photo of the writer who came up with that segment who then they track him down in the venue like the Swiss police tracked down former FIFA Chairman Seth Blatter. Then throw him in a police car and drive him out of the arena. The stunt would satiate all the hardcore fans who would wonder, “Who came up with that?” Problem solved, and WWE could have a poll during the week on whether said writer should be re-hired or future endeavored.

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