WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for May 15

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Kurt Angle Violates HIPAA Laws Before Making a Match

The first thing Kurt Angle does is depress most of the fans watching. He presents an update on Braun Strowman, relaying what had already been posted on WWE.com about his injuries. It’s definitely a blow to the roster, but I’m already preparing for Braun Strowman entering the 2018 Royal Rumble at #1 and eliminating 29 guys to win, so I’m okay right now.

The second thing Kurt Angle does is finally address the Universal Championship. The GM picked the five main event guys who aren’t named “Brock Lesnar” and put them in an Extreme Rule Fatal Five Way at, uh, Extreme Rules. Rollins, Joe, Balor, Wyatt, and Reigns? I’m in, even if it’s going to be an overbooked mess.

And the most impressive thing? Angle did all of that in roughly five minutes. When Roman Reigns made his way down the ramp to needlessly prolong the segment, it was 8:09 EDT. Good job, Kurt, way to keep things moving!

But by the time all the competitors have made their way to the ring, this match already seems like a bad idea. Reigns is a smug elitist entitled jerk. Wyatt is the most neutered superstar on the main roster. Rollins and Joe still have way too many issues for one of them to logically win this one. Finn is the only one who seems like an actual, believable human being.

Of course, once there’s more than like three people in the ring everyone has to brawl. Finn stands tall to end the segment, which seems like a good sign, but who knows?

After the commercial break, Kurt Angle finds Roman, Seth, and Finn arguing backstage and makes some matches – Rollins will face Wyatt “for the first time ever,” and Balor and Reigns get each other.