WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for June 5

Source: WWE.com (via Twitter)

Gallows & Anderson vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass Show

Result: Enzo Amore & Big Show defeated Gallows & Anderson via pinfall

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Oh, Lord. I don’t know if I have the words to properly convey what this made me feel. It was a true roller coaster of emotions, to be honest. I felt shock at who Enzo found as a replacement partner. There was tension as it looked like Big Show was just going to annihilate Enzo. If I recall correctly, there was disgust at what Show thinks passes as a Jersey accent. Finally, joy at how the whole thing played out, because Big Show really is one of the greats.

I don’t think anything made me laugh harder tonight than Enzo starting off the match by eating a size 14 from Gallows. That was better than any “Great Balls of Fire” reference. So good.

But, hey, this is Gallows and Anderson we’re talking about here. There isn’t a team in WWE who is more poorly booked or perceived as less of a threat than these two. Tex Ferguson and Chad 2 Badd are a more formidable duo, and they hate each other, hermano. Hell, Lance Catamaran and Chet Chetterfield are a more formidable duo and they’re broadcasters.

So of course, there’s a remix of the Boom Shackalacka splash, and Enzo and Show win. Backstage, Cass confronts Show about being the ninja who keeps taking out the Realest Guys. Show denies it, and we’re no closer to solving the mystery.

(It’s Cass.)

R-Truth, Part 2

Truth knows the way into my heart, because A Few Good Men is one of my favorite movies. But if you’re not Team Goldust in this battle, man, shut yo mouth.