WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for August 28

Cena vs. Reigns – Once In A Lifetime Until We Do It Again And Again

Right off the bat, gotta love WWE openly admitting that this match is “WrestleMania worthy,” but they’re doing it at No Mercy anyway. Translation: If we put this on WrestleMania, it’ll just be three times as many people live in the arena crapping all over it.

Strangely, almost immediately, Cena basically goes off the rails. We kid about pulling the curtain back, and kayfabe being dead. But John Cena just took the curtain and doused it in gasoline before throwing a match at it. “Roman has always been protected”? “I’m the guy there’s no protection from”? Are you kidding me?!?!

And that’s not even the best part! Cena goes for the kill shot when he calls Roman a “cheap, corporately-created John Cena bootleg.” I’m genuinely surprised that Angle didn’t leave the ring to get some salve for that burn. Even Jerry Lawler seemed shocked by this, clearly forgetting to hit his cough button when he expressed shock at what was being said. Throw in Cena knocking down the Undertaker, and things are pure chaos.

Roman comes back swinging, and finally shows some real life emotion on the stick. Cleary, everyone has worked themselves into a shoot (brother), and I am looking forward to a bloodbath at No Mercy. This was the most awkward, awful, terrible, terrific, wonderful, greatest segment in recent memory. I swear Roman looked like he was near tears at one point.

And then we get Gallows and Anderson? For a tag match? Against two guys who just fired kill shot after kill shot at each other? Sure, why not?