The WWE gifted us the team of Breezango in 2016, and it wasn’t long before the Fashion Police were born. But what are they investigating?
After being called up to the main roster from NXT, it wasn’t long before Tyler Breeze and Fandango found themselves struggling to stay afloat. Overcome by tidal waves that came in the form of bigger stars like Kevin Owens and AJ Styles, the two men who had once been fan favorites were desperately searching for a successful gimmick, even after being paired together as Breezango. In what can only be described as a stroke of genius, the duo was morphed into the Fashion Police, a parody of the long-running crime drama, Law and Order, complete with their own voiceover:
“In the modeling and fashionista industry, outfit based offenses are considered especially repulsive. In the WWE Universe, dedicated garment gumshoes who investigate these faux pas’ are members of an elite squad known as ‘The Fashion Police.’ These are their stories.”
The idea came in the wake of Fandango being “kidnapped” and Breeze donning a runway-inspired police uniform as he investigated the disappearance. As it turns out, Fandango wasn’t kidnapped at all, and he simply reappears as if nothing was the matter, but seeing Breeze’s stylish outfit gives him an idea and thus a new gimmick was born.
These segments have treated us to some great inside jokes that eagle-eyed viewers were able to spot on the bulletin boards featured in every episode (e.g. Jey-Walking/Jimmy-Walking, a picture that accuses The Shining Stars of “Real Estate Fraud”, etc). The Fashion Police works because it serves as a break in the action on SmackDown Live and isn’t just another time-filler; they are actually trying to tell a story with each installment.
But therein lies the problem. The segment has run for so long that many fans have likely forgotten how or why the Fashion Police broke away from simply criticizing the attire of other wrestlers. To jog our memories, we have to travel all the way back to May 2017 – Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was going strong in U.S. movie theatres, Ryan Seacrest was announced as the new co-host for the renamed Live with Kelly and Ryan, and the song Despacito was being played on literally every radio station in the universe.
It was also when the office of the Fashion Police was vandalized by an unknown assailant, which would lead the dapper duo down their current path. The segment has proven so popular WWE has used them to parody other successful TV shows such as Twin Peaks and the X-Files. To date, Breezango is still (technically) searching for the culprit(s) behind the repeated office destruction, despite several unassociated rabbit holes that have involved alien abductions and broken hobby horses.
The last few episodes of Fashion Police/Files/Peaks have been treading water, searching desperately for a way to get back on track but never addressing the problem which started them on this journey in the first place. I can see why WWE wants to drag this out as long as possible, if for no other reason than it gives Breezango and the Ascension some TV time each week but sooner or later this gimmick needs to provide a satisfying end.
In the three-act structure of any story there is a set-up, confrontation, and ultimately a conclusion. We have moved through the first and second acts where characters are established as well as the problem or antagonist they are destined to confront. The third act leads us to a resolution of some sort where questions are answered and characters complete their relative arcs. Let’s just hope this conclusion comes before the WWE decides on having Arn Anderson show up and admit to destroying their office for no particular reason.