WWE Hell in a Cell 2017 Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades

Source: WWE.com

Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell Match

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon

Result: Kevin Owens defeated Shane McMahon via pinfall

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Immediately, we see why the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation was added – the first five minutes of the match took place outside the cell. Shane never let KO in, and you have to think that would foreshadow something later on.

Once the two got into the cage, it was pretty violent. I think the Usos and New Day were more violent, but Owens did his best to punish the commissioner. One thing I noticed throughout the night is that there was a lot more contact with the cage than in previous Hell in a Cell matches. Everyone always complains about the lack of blood in HIAC matches, but here’s some news: hitting a chain link fence doesn’t automatically make you bleed.

When Shane started his comeback, it was with a bum knee because 1) Shane got the knees up to block KO’s swanton bomb, and 2) Shane is nearly 48 years old and not a full time wrestler. Can’t really blame this on the leg, but Shane’s jabs and uppercuts looked worse than normal afterwards.  KO took back over with a bullfrog splash after Shane missed a shooting star splash.

Shane countered the pop up powerbomb with a triangle choke – almost. Both Corey Graves and Tom Philips pointed out that it wasn’t complete (where were you  on that one, Byron?), which is probably why Owens was able to escape.

Owens went hardcore on the outside – powerbomb on the steps for a nearfall, then pulled out a table to try and punish Shane. KO went for a cannonball from the apron onto Shane against a table, but Shane moved and Owens went through the table himself. The opening was enough for Shane to catch his wind put himself in position for a comeback.

Of course, Shane would grab a garbage can from under the ring and set up his coast to coast flying dropkick. Owens got his foot on the ropes even though there’s no rope breaks in HIAC matches, which prompted Shane to grab bolt cutters to cut the chain and leave the cell. Uh, what?

I gotta tell you, watching Shane grab literally every part of his body after almost every move is depressing. YOU’RE NOT A WRESTLER, BUDDY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS STUFF. Eventually, Shane gets hit with a headbutt and ends up on the Spanish announce table, which conveniently looks like it’s padded. Hmmmm….

Owens climbs to the top of the cell to end Shane, using the conveniently placed foot holes cut into the cage. At the top, KO has second and third thoughts about jumping down, which gives Shane time to regroup and climb to the top as well. They brawl up top, and it’s terrifying for a few reasons. I’ll let you guess why; you were probably thinking the same thing I was. (Namely: Please, don’t die.)

https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/917228717881069568

Owens hit a pop up powerbomb on top of the cell. Thankfully, the panel held and didn’t give way. Chain link isn’t all that strong, so I had about a dozen mini panic attacks watching everything on top of the cell. Mercifully, both competitors started to climb down (whew!), and Shane forced KO off and into the Spanish announce table.

Rather than just pin Owens, Shane picked him up and dragged him to the English announce table. Then Shane climbed to the top of the cell again. Oh, dear. In a scene straight out of WrestleMania 32, Shane went for the diving elbow, but hit nothing but table.

Why? BECAUSE SAMI ZAYN CAME OUT AND SAVED HIS FORMER AND POSSIBLY ONCE AGAIN BEST FRIEND FROM SERIOUS INJURY. Zayn pulled KO off the table, so Shane missed his target. KO somehow crawled on top of Shane to get the pinfall victory, and Sami just looked like he couldn’t believe what he did or saw. Shane was carted out on a stretcher, and Owens needed to be helped to the back.

It was a pretty slow start to this one, but in the end it picked up. It was absolutely horrifying to watch, which is probably more an indication of me getting old than anything else. I just want my wrestlers to do crazy lucha flippy stuff and be relatively safe, you know? Stop trying to kill yourselves for a largely ungrateful audience.

Next: 25 Greatest WWE Entrance Themes of All Time

That does it for WWE Hell in a Cell 2017. A pair of really good HIAC matches, plus a hot triple threat match for the US Title were among the highlights. What did you think of the show?