WWE TLC 2017 Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades

Main Event TLC Match. Photo Source: WWE.com

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 5-on-3 Handicap Match

The Miz, Cesaro, Sheamus, Braun Strowman, & Kane vs. Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Kurt Angle

Result: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Kurt Angle defeated The Miz, Cesaro, Sheamus, Braun Strowman, & Kane via pinfall

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Look, I get the whole “Shield reunion” thing that couldn’t happen, but how on earth do you have Kurt Angle make his big return to the ring and not give him his traditional ring entrance? He’s not really in The Shield – he’s a sub. Let him wear the flak jacket, but give the crowd the chance to tell Kurt how much he sucks. Who knows when this will happen again?

Seriously, that’s probably the stupidest decision of the entire night. But leaving that aside, once the actual match got started it was the best kind of bonkers it could be. The almost-Shield was like three balls of kinetic energy (well, two balls and one kind of slower blob that did its best to keep up even though it hadn’t had to in several years). Chairs and ladders were all over the place, and the team of three looked to be well in control of the team of five.

Tables came into play before too long, as Rollins and Ambrose put Kane and Strowman through the announce tables with splashes off of ladders. Unfortunatley, Rollins looked like he tweaked his knee coming down. Also bad, this left Angle alone in the ring with The Bar. Cesaro and Sheamus beat the Raw GM down with chairs, leaving him in bad shape.

The Miz came in to try and execute a triple powerbomb on a weakened Angle, but he was saved by his teammates. As the ring cleared, Angle took down Miz with three German suplexes. Sheamus and Cesaro each got one as well, before Kane sat up and reentered the ring. As Angle got him in the Ankle Lock, Strowman came in to save his partner, and Angle ended up taking a running powerslam through a table on the arena floor. He would be helped backstage, leaving the match 5-on-2.

A thorough decimation of Rollins and Ambrose followed, even through temporary dissension between Strowman and Kane. Cesaro and Sheamus went ot put Ambrose through a table, but it didn’t break. Ambrose was corpsing on the mat, but I don’t see that as breaking character – Dean is legit crazy, so that’s something that lunatic would do.

The Miz brought out a garbage truck, but it was ineffective – Rollins and Ambrose used it as a jump point to take out all of their opponents besides The Miz. They were stopped by Strowman, but Kane turned on him and chokeslammed him through the stage before burying him in chairs.

The Big Red Machine then chokeslammed Rollins and Ambrose simultaneously through tables on the stage. Strowman climbed out of the wreckage of chairs, and the rest of his team turned on him as well. Strowman ended up in the garbage truck, which drove him away.

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/922296079051137025

As Rollins and Ambrose suffered a 4-on-2 beatdown, Kurt Angle’s music played as he made his return to the match. Sheamus and Cesaro each took an Olympic Slam – Cesaro through a table. Rollins and Ambrose took Kane through the barricade, leaving Miz and Angle in the ring alone. Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale, but Angle kicked out and applied the Ankle Lock.

Rollins and Ambrose came back in, hitting Miz with a ripcord knee, Dirty Deeds, and an Olympic slam in succession. The almost-Shield finished things up with a triple powerbomb, and Kurt Angle scored the pinfall for his team. KURT ANGLE HAS PINNED THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Next: 25 Greatest WWE Entrance Themes of All Time

It was an absolutely insane match, sometimes way too contrived and convoluted but ultimately a hell of a lot of fun. It was nice to see Angle back in action, even if limited. And there’s a ton of questions that need to be answered – is Strowman a face now? Why did everyone turn on him? How often will we see Angle lace them up in the future?