WWE Raw Results: Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for December 18

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Elias Returns

Last week, Elias was absent from Raw. And I think I speak for everyone when I say it’s damn good to see him back. Heck, I missed him so much I had to write a whole article about how great he is just to get my fix. (I think I have a problem.)

So this week, Elias is back, and all is right with the world. After announcing he’s entering the Royal Rumble, the master of song makes sure to connect with his audience, so he goes into a story about Tom Brady for the New England crowd. Personally, I believe that Elias doesn’t want to waste his time with a nobody like Tom Brady, although that could just be the bitter Jets fan in me.

Elias is all set to break out a brand new song about Roger Goodell, which you just know would have been amazing, when he’s interrupted by Snoop Dogg’s cousin Sasha Banks. Undeterred, Elias attempts to begin again – this time, he’s interrupted by award winning country singer Mickie James. Maybe it just isn’t Elias’s night.

But he’s determined to forge ahead. Loving the fact that the ladies want to walk with Elias, we make a third attempt – and out comes, uh, Bayley (sorry, I don’t know how musical she is). She tries to cheer Elias up with a hug as he dejectedly leaves the ring, but he leaves her hanging.