WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 5

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Make Up Your Mind, John

Free agent John Cena struck out at every turn when he was competing on Raw. Up until last week, he hadn’t exactly been setting the world on fire when appearing for Team Blue. But now that he’s in the WWE Championship match at Fastlane, you’d think Big Match John would have stayed on Tuesday nights.

Nope. In a move that screams of “ticket sales for Fastlane are really slow,” Cena shows up on Raw to push Sunday’s pay per view. And wow, is John confident. He straight up says he’s going to make history at Fastlane by breaking Ric Flair’s record of 16 world title reigns. Then he challenges AJ Styles – who’s still champion, by the way – to utilize his rematch clause – again, Styles is still champ – for a triple threat match at WrestleMania.

Before anyone has a chance to process what Cena just said, out comes Goldust – which I’m sure everyone totally expected. A long, rambling, somewhat incoherent promo by Goldust left the crowd in stunned silence. Honestly, I had no idea what the hell Goldie was talking about.

It doesn’t matter though, because Goldust just walloped Cena with a big right hand as Raw went to commercial. The look on Cena’s face the whole time Goldust was talking was meme worthy, and the obviousness of a double cross didn’t take away from the fact that LOL GOLDUST CAME OUT TO INTERRUPT JOHN CENA IN 2018 AND IT MAY NOT BE THE WEIRDEST THING THAT HAPPENS IN WRESTLING THIS YEAR.