WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 5

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Elias vs. Braun Strowman, Symphony of Destruction Match

Result: Braun Strowman defeated Elias via pinfall

Rating: 2.25 out of 5 stars

Before the match, Elias does his best Dave Grohl impression, rocking out on the piano, drums, and guitar. After denigrating the city of Milwaukee – not cool, since Milwaukee is “The Good Land” – the balladeer tries to execute his master plan for the Symphony of Destruction match.

That plan? RUN LIKE HELL. A quick lighting change to hide his movements, and Elias is making a beeline for the exits. He hops into a waiting car, and tries to back out – but to no avail. Braun Strowman decided the car was the perfect object to do triceps raises with – so the rear wheels were about three feet in the air.

Once Braun chases Elias back into the building, it’s on. A couple of guitars ended up smashed, yet another double bass (the music teacher in me is cringing at the money spent on those instruments that I’d love to have in my school’s budget), and finally the piano. But the piano lasted long enough for Braun to play a bit – I was hoping for “Chopsticks,” would have laughed like a fool if it was “Fur Elise,” and would have been stunned if he played, like, the Moonlight Sonata.

Look, there’s no way a Symphony of Destruction match was going to be a 4+ star classic. It was entertaining as all hell, though, and Braun picking up the win via piano smash was wonderful. I would have loved to see a running powerslam through the piano, but maybe next time.