WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 12

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Trade Me Right Now! (then hang up)

Cesaro and Sheamus want to be traded to SmackDown because of the chaos from earlier. Personally, watching The Bar go up against The Bludgeon Brothers would be fantastic. But Kurt Angle won’t do it, and schedules a battle royal for later tonight to determine The Bar’s WrestleMania opponents.

Walk With Elias (Out of the Arena)

After a great video recap of the Symphony of Destruction match from last week – Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is a great soundtrack for that, too – Elias is in the ring for a performance. He’s selling the beating with a neck brace, and he’s moving very gingerly.

But rather than perform, Elias just walks away, blaming the fans for this. I, uh, don’t get it? He played the guitar for a bit, so it’s not like he can’t make music. And he spoke, so I’m sure he could still sing (music teacher pro tip here: if you can talk, you can sing).

Maybe he’s taking a break? Perhaps it’s time to heal so he can have his big WrestleMania moment?

Braun Needs a Mania Match

I think I speak for everyone when I say Braun Strowman is absolutely right. He should have a match at WrestleMania, and it’s ridiculous he doesn’t have one yet. He threatens everyone with ham hock fists and bright red letters, and I hope he finds whoever needs to catch those hands.