WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for March 19

Braun Strowman addresses his potential partner. (Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter)

This Would Have Been Better as a Dating Game Skit

After Kurt Angle officially signs Bliss vs. Jax for WrestleMania, Braun Strowman comes out to the ring. The number one contender for the Raw Tag Team Championships needs to find a partner, as per management. There goes my dream of Strowman & These Hands going at it with The Bar.

Speaking of The Bar, out come Cesaro and Sheamus to make things a bit homophobic. Dudes, you’re in Texas – know the room before you say things. Braun shows us that he’s been watching his Dwayne Johnson videos as he tells his opponents to shut the hell up.

Braun said he’s got two things to bring up to The Bar. Sadly, they were not “These Hands.” Instead, Braun tells his WrestleMania opponents that he knows he doesn’t need a partner, but he has one anyway. The second thing? He’s got the power via Kurt Angle to have a match with either Cesaro or Sheamus – and it happens now.

A brief little cat and mouse game between Sheamus and Cesaro leads to The Swiss Cyborg being Strowman’s opponent. Hey, Sheamus has to spend the time coming up with more Rick and Morty references for his next promo. Plus, Cesaro vs. Braun? Hell, yeah!

Before we get to the match, can I say how disappointing it is not to get a series of segments featuring Braun traveling backstage to try and recruit tag partners? Remember when Chad Gable campaigned in NXT to be Jason Jordan’s partner? (oh, god, don’t let a magically healed Jordan be the tag partner) Or when R-Truth begged Goldust for weeks to team up with him? Imagine Braun just walking up to a guy like Curt Hawkins and saying, “BE MY PARTNER OR YOU’LL GET THESE HANDS!” and Hawkins pooping himself and running away.