WWE WrestleMania 34: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades

Photo Source: WWE.com

Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Sheamus & Cesaro (c) vs. Braun Strowman & Nicholas

Result: Braun Strowman & Nicholas defeated Sheamus & Cesaro via pinfall to become NEW Raw Tag Team Champions (no, seriously)

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

The Bar made a grand entrance – riding a Mardis Gras float with a bunch of big head baby characters to the sounds of “When the Saints Go Marching In.” Again, local flavor is important to me, so I like this.

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Of course, Braun Strowman came out, scared away all the characters, and pushed the float off the stage, destroying it. But the big question remained: Who was Braun’s tag partner?

SPOILER ALERT: He didn’t have one! He took the mic to say there was no person in the back who could handle it, so he was going to pick a fan. Oooh, boy, this isn’t ending well at all. After a not so quick search, where Braun was followed around by a few unsavory types, he selected a random kid out of the crowd. Geez, Braun, don’t you remember John Cena was in the crowd not too long ago?

So with a pre-adolescent standing in his corner, Braun Strowman finished his complete destruction of the Raw Tag Team Division. Like, this is funny and all, and Braun can basically do no wrong if he’s just causing destruction. But if I’m, say, The Revival, I’m livid at the mockery that’s been made of my life’s work.

What’s the end game here? We knew Braun would win the match, no matter who his partner was. But with a random kid – Nicholas – from the crowd, this kid has to show up at least one more time until they lose the titles. Obviously, it’s going to end before WWE leaves New Orleans, because I’m guessing the kid has travel plans – even if he’s a plant. And how long can you really drag this garbage out for?

The whole selection of the partner took me out of the match. I was set to be disappointed if Big Show was the partner – this is on a whole different level. Join me in 2021 when the Raw Tag Team Division is finally rehabilitated to a decent state.