WWE Raw: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades for May 28

Photo Source: WWE.com via Twitter

Memorial Day Remembrances

Somehow, there’s still a bunch of people out there who don’t really understand what Memorial Day in the United States actually is all about. More than once, I’ve seen friends, family members, acquaintances, and random people on social media wish everyone a “happy” Memorial Day.

Surprisingly if you look at their storytelling, but unsurprisingly if you look at their relationship with the armed forces, WWE gets it. The opening video package was almost a perfect encapsulation of what the holiday is all about. Servicemen and servicewomen gave their lives in battle so us slobs can have sales on cars and TVs, and get a day off to have barbecues and go to the beach. If you don’t take at least a minute to remember that, you’re in the wrong.

Man of Few Words

The beautiful video is followed up by a very exposition-heavy promo from Braun Strowman. He very helpfully explains the rules of a Money in the Bank Ladder Match, tells us who else is in the match, and describes his eventual cash-in when he wins. Um, thanks?

Out comes Finn Balor to explain some more things about the match — did you know it’s every man for himself in the ladder match? Because I sure didn’t. Strowman doesn’t appreciate someone trying to one up his rule describing, so he compliments Finn by telling him he put up a great fight in last week’s main event.

For a little guy.

The typical actions follow: Balor guts up and slaps Braun across the face, Braun throws him literally across the ring, and Kurt Angle wanders out to make a match because INTENSITY GRRRRRRRR. What killed me was Angle stopping at the top of the ramp in the middle of a brawl between two of his main event superstars so he could conduct the audience with the “You suck” chants. What a dweeb.

Anyway, at least two guys are in the ring and have a beef, so Raw rules dictate a match must be made between them RIGHT NOW.