Pro Wrestling EVE: Badass Bitches From Mars Brings New Talent and Big Action

CHARLIE MORGAN “PICK YOUR POISON” MATCH

HARMONY: “Every single time you will her up, I will f***ing knock her back down.” OK, EVE, I know a thesis statement when I hear one.

So, to be honest, I am surprised that this wasn’t the main-event match. It really should have been, even though that wouldn’t have made sense from a storytelling perspective, just because it was that impressive. The premise of the Pick Your Poison matches is that both Jayne and Morgan are able to pick each other’s opponents. This has big implications for their championship match at WrestleQueendom, as any injuries or wear sustained here could affect a wrestler’s performance there.

It’s no surprise that Jayne picked Jetta as Morgan’s opponent. Jetta and Morgan hate each other, and Jetta is a significant ally for Jayne. Jayne did her best to cause Morgan significant damage in their bout, working Morgan’s injured collarbone and striking her viciously.

Jetta is incredibly skilled and incredibly cruel, working Charlie into holds and then biting her ears and hooking her lips for extra insult. The moment where Jetta hangs Charlie up in the ropes and gives her a flying dropkick made me wince. Jetta pushes Morgan to her absolute limit, but no matter how much she throws at Morgan, Morgan will not stay down. It’s a pure relief when Morgan manages to land an Aces Over and pin Jetta- Morgan is visibly injured and suffering, and you just want her to get out of the ring and ice her shoulder.

But of course, Jayne isn’t playing fair. So out comes Morgan’s next opponent, Isla Dawn, an EVE debut. Dawn was trained by Aleister Black, and you can see this in the flurry of brutal strikes Dawn unleashes on Morgan.

Morgan topples exhaustedly around the ring, summoning the last of her strength to land an elbow on Dawn that knocks her into the crowd and then does a somersault dive on top of her. The action drifts back into the ring and Morgan lands another Aces Over, giving her the second victory of the match.

Of course, Jayne has another opponent up her sleeve. Jayla Dark sweeps into the ring quickly, knocking Morgan over, punching her, then tossing her out of the ring. Where Dawn was a precision striker, Dark is a barroom brawler, and you can hear the crowd cry out in fear as Morgan gets tossed into walls and furniture.

Morgan gives back as good as she gets with some big kicks, but the exhaustion on her face is painful to see, and it’s hard to imagine how she’ll survive this one. Even when Morgan manages to run straight up a wall, it isn’t enough to knock Dark out. Eventually Jayla disqualifies herself by going for a chair. Jayla gives Morgan a good smack in the head at the end of the fight and departs, leaving Morgan sprawled beneath the chair in the middle of the ring. And that’s the end of it, right?

Wrong, because Jayne has one more opponent to send in- herself. You can’t get too mad at her about it because Rhia O’Reilly did the same thing to her at the New Year’s Rumble. Unfortunately, Jayne learned from O’Reilly’s failure to capitalize on that opportunity. Jayne runs in for a suplex and a quick pin, making her the winner of the match and perhaps the most despised person who has ever wrestled in EVE.

Now THIS is how you set up a championship fight. Jayne exited the ring swaggering with her belt. Morgan ended the match being helped to her feet in front of a cheering crowd, tears in her eyes, beaten but not defeated. It was an incredible showcase for Charlie Morgan, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite active wrestlers today. I only wish i could have seen this match before WrestleQueendom- it would have made Morgan winning the championship that much sweeter.