WWE Raw Power Rankings: It’s the Ziggler and Rollins Show

4. Braun Strowman

3. Kevin Owens

Solely from an in-ring perspective, Braun Strowman and Kevin Owens had one of the worst main events in WWE Raw history. The match lasted about 45 seconds, with 10 of that being the referee counting Owens out as he ran like a scared child. Not great.

But if we take everything pertaining to Owens and Strowman out of this week’s show and look at it, there was obviously more to it. Most of the focus was on Owens, who is somehow one of the most sympathetic figures on Raw.

Owens spent the majority of the episode trying to get Kurt Angle to take action against Strowman for his rampant disregard of other people’s personal property — or safety. Angle, because he’s an idiot all of a sudden, says, HAHAHA NOPE AND NOW YOU GOTTA FIGHT THIS LUNATIC. Owens suggests counseling with Dr. Shelby, to which Angle says WE SETTLE THINGS IN THE RING HERE, UNLESS YOU’RE BAYLEY OR SASHA BANKS OR RONDA ROUSEY.

And then KO ended up inside a port-a-potty, and got thrown off the stage. Braun’s cartoon violence is getting more cartoony and less violent with each outburst, which is probably not a good thing. But he’s still Mr. Money in the Bank, so he’s likely just being booked like trash so his inevitable cash-in is a “surprise.”