WWE: Ranking the Top 10 Greatest Promos of All Time
By Broc Flücker
Vince McMahon “Life Sucks, and Then You Die”
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here; there is no one better in the history of wrestling that is better at getting heat than Vince McMahon. The man was born to be a bad guy, among other things, and he always delivered in that role better than I believe anybody possibly could.
Following an angle involving Chris Jericho losing the Intercontinental Title in “unfair” fashion, Vince would explain his actions, saying “well, that’s just too damn bad.” Vince would go on to draw a few great comparisons to the people who think that this wasn’t fair, saying that those same people are the type of people that would wait in line, waiting their turn. Then they would see someone like McMahon himself cut to the front of the line, while they say “that’s not fair.”
Vince’s next comparison would be in the parking lot, saying that these people would drive around waiting for a parking spot to open up, when they finally find it, only for someone else to cut them off and take their spot, as they are left saying “that’s not fair.”
His final comparison would be about money. “It’s all about the MONAAAY.” Vince would say these people scrape, claw, and work themselves half to death, but can never afford what they really want. “It’s not fair that some people are rich, and you’re not, that’s not fair.”
Mr. McMahon would end this masterpiece by saying the phrase that I’m sure we’ve all had our parents tell us at some point, that “life isn’t fair.” Vince would however take this one step further, and tell everyone to own up to the philosophy “Life sucks, and then you die.”
With this promo, Vince McMahon wrote the book on how to be a heel in professional wrestling, which easily makes it one of the greatest promos of all time. Listening to it now, I always get a laugh out of the way Vince delivers this from start to finish.
The best thing about it though is every word he said is true, and that’s what makes a heel truly great, is that when they are saying things that are true, but presenting them in such a way to make them seem above everyone else.