WWE: Baron Corbin’s blandness is deceptively brilliant

One of WWE’s best heels is one of wrestling’s most boring characters, because Baron Corbin is the antithesis of everything we want to see in a villain.

WWE fans, mostly long-time fans, sometimes lament that there are too many “cool heels” around. You know, the bad guys who ironically generate an emotional connection, because they reflect some of our most banal fantasies of belligerence, deviance, and unbridled self-confidence bordering on pathological egocentrism. Baron Corbin has all of those traits, which is what makes him unmistakably irredeemable as a character.

He is a coward who shirked from his most fundamental duties as Raw General Manager, and when he fought, he would abuse his power by literally changing stipulations in the middle of matches. Corbin, like most bullies, had such low self-esteem – in contrast to the facade he portrayed – that he couldn’t envision himself defeating, say, Roman Reigns in a fair fight.

But for all of the individual strokes that cumulatively paint the Corbin character, no single characteristic jumps out more than this one: he’s boring.

With his stuffy wrestling gear, his generically smug smile and a catalog of insults shorter than a Dollar Menu, Baron Corbin is a paper cut-out of a paper cut-out. He is remarkable in no discernible way, somehow even making Kurt Angle’s retirement as glib as his Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal victory years ago.

Despite the supposed apathy towards Corbin, the man’s blandness works – and yes, that is a wrestling pun. When Corbin’s music hits, it doesn’t matter that it’s a bad-ass track sung by Tommy Vext himself. Why? Because the audience is vexed at the mere thought of Corbin burdening them with his presence. It’s a reflex at this point. Corbin opens his mouth? Boo. Corbin gloats? The profanities start spilling.

It might seem like a heel that is purposefully zero-dimensional would have a short shelf-life, but, honestly, Corbin has lasting power in WWE. Not only is he an exceptional athlete who owns some of the best signature moves in the game (the “Deep Six” immediately comes to mind), but he’s also willing to make a mockery of himself for the audience’s enjoyment. It comes with the territory of depicting a character without a shred of self-awareness, integrity, or moral fiber.

Corbin’s blandness isn’t met with a blasé attitude by the fans either, because they haven’t seen anyone embrace bare-bones heelness in this manner. He is all-in on being a vapid symbol of annoyance and greed as it leads to some of the most vociferous animosity in all of WWE; these are crowd reactions that have persisted for months.

The work Corbin has put in to become the exact opposite of the “cool heel” has paid massive dividends, even if he hasn’t tasted gold since winning the United States Championship. Corbin, who retired one of wrestling’s biggest legends at WrestleMania 35, is in a set position as a significant player on Raw. In a world of larger-than-life characters, Corbin has found a way to stand out by emulating the incompetent, thoroughly uninteresting boss we’ve all encountered.