WWE: 5 cinematic matches that should become reality
By Bryan Heaton
Roman Reigns: Dawg Pound Match
Look, Undertaker has the Boneyard because he’s a gigantic zombie mortician who specializes in the occult and death. Bray Wyatt has the Firefly Fun House because that’s the realm he has created for himself since last summer. Roman Reigns? Well, he’s the Big Dog, so what better place to exert his will than in the Dawg Pound?
I know what you’re thinking: Wait a minute, isn’t this just the Kennel from Hell all over again? Don’t worry, I got you — it has NOTHING to do with that abomination. No, the spelling is important here: “Dog” Pound Match would signify a bunch of canines pooping all over the superstars while they compete. But “Dawg” Pound? Well, that’s clearly much cooler, isn’t it?
Picture this, if you will… as Roman’s opponent enters the venue, he’s greeted by three vicious guard dogs. The only thing stopping the pups from ripping a face off is the industrial-strength chains attached to their collars. Beyond the dogs, the Big Dog himself awaits amidst what looks like a military base — you didn’t think Roman got the flak vest on eBay, did you?
Inside the complex are tanks, heavy machinery, and Cleveland Browns fans (hey, you can’t call the match “the Dawg Pound” without having to make a few deals). There’s plenty of surfaces to throw an opponent both into and off of. But one thing that’s nowhere in sight? Alpo. It’s been done — poorly — and we have to draw the line somewhere.
Oh, there’s also more dogs inside the base. If there were only three dogs in a Dawg Pound match, that would be like advertising a main event match long after you knew it wasn’t happening. Not cool.