WWE SmackDown Smacks and Downs: Jeff Hardy gives Sheamus a golden shower

Down: a dousing of urine? what is this, high school?

Down: can we finally do away with sobriety angles for Jeff Hardy?

This isn’t even the first urinalysis segment in WWE. To make matters worse, it was pretty similar to the first time WWE tried this, even down to the “Better to be pissed off than pissed on” line.

That splash, though; literally right on the nose, a face shot, the proverbial knockout blow. At least Sheamus sold it like I believe anyone would in that situation. I know, it wasn’t actually urine.

That didn’t take away from one, the utter needlessness of this segment, and two, the overarching sour taste of intimating Hardy may have relapsed.

It also reeked of something I would hear about in high school. Hardy and Sheamus are in their early 40s, not their teens. If any segment was a channel-turner, it was this one.

For one, why would a urinalysis need to happen in the ring, recorded for the world to see, in front of an audience? They could have just simply done a “Hardy going to the testing center” vignette and involved the same people. I mean, we do see WWE quite often make little offices or exam areas for segments anyway, so it’s not like this would have meant actually going out in public during the pandemic.

Also, how did the doctor have enough urine left to analyze considering 95 percent of it was on Sheamus and the other five percent on the mat? Maybe he had Hardy fill another cup.

I’ve taken a urinalysis before, and the cup they gave us was definitely much smaller than that. You knew it was going to be thrown in Sheamus’ face as soon as you saw the size of the, well, pitcher.

Hardy could also use some hydration (kayfabe), yeah?

Sheamus was shocked when the test results came back negative, so either he is a truly stupid heel or he didn’t actually do the deed and was merely taking advantage of an opportunity.

If he didn’t do, then I don’t think Zayn did it because he is still harping about the “fraud” that was the Intercontinental Championship Tournament, but could also see WWE thrusting him into this Hardy story to keep him away from the IC title scene through sheer pettiness.

Perusing the roster, the only other person it could be in my opinion is The Fiend. Bray Wyatt does have at least one red dread in his hair, and with The Fiend mask on, maybe the red came off as a beard to Strowman? It could also be explained away that The Fiend used his “powers” to come off as a red haired and bearded man to conceal his identity.

I’m really only saying this because I think Hardy vs. The Fiend would allow Hardy to channel more of “The Charismatic Enigma” character from WWE’s past and his “Brother Nero” and “Willow” gimmicks in TNA/Impact. The promo/vignettes would be a trip to say the least.

Maybe it’s someone from NXT, but no one matches that description. If travel restrictions have been lifted, there are two contenders in NXT UK: Joe Coffey and “Bomber” Dave Mastiff, though both fall into Zayn’s category of being more brunette than red haired.

Then again, will WWE even remember they had Strowman indicate he saw someone with red hair and a red beard? Watch, it turns out to be a Robert Roode or a Kona Reeves instead.

Sheamus and Hardy battle tomorrow night, and hopefully, we can all put this behind us afterward.