AEW Rampage Grand Slam Results: Punk vs. Hobbs, SuperKliq Party, & More

Hello everyone and welcome to Daily DDT’s coverage of Friday Night Rampage Grand Slam. I, Nick Perkins, will be your party host for the evening. Tonight’s show is coming off an incredible Dynamite Grand Slam and it tonight’s show is even half as good as that one, this week will be a homerun for AEW (look I made a sports reference!)

So settle in, grab some snacks and allow me to be your flag bearer, your ring bearer, your Paul Bearer for what should be two of the most exciting hours of wrestling this week.

It’s Friday, and you know what that means. This is Rampage, baby!!

We’re starting the show off with the faux-Twilight Zone theme which can only mean one thing: We’re getting Hobbs vs. CM Punk first!

As Hobbs enters the ring, we get a recap of why this match is taking place in the first place.

Powerhouse Hobbs w/  HOOK vs CM Punk

PUNK IS BACK TO WEARING TRUNKS! Personally, I didn’t hate the tights he wore at All Out, but I definitely prefer CM Trunks.

The Dark Knight returns to the ring for the first time since All Out, and he’s wrestling his first television match in 7 years. Hobbs may be going to sleep, but the audience sure isn’t.

Punk takes his time walking to the ring, soaking in the adulation of the crowd, but then the match starts hot. Punk starts with a dropkick, followed by a series of strikes as the crowd cheers him on.

Punk raked Hobbs eyes across the ropes until Hobbs retaliated with an elbow, followed by some strikes of his own. Punk reverses into a drop-toe-hold and begins to target the left leg of Hobbs. A Russian leg sweep from Punk, followed by a very American middle finger to Hook.

Punk attempts the GTS but is distracted by Hook, which is not very veteran-like of him. Hobbs gets a tackle and attempts a pinfall, but Punk easily kicks out. Hobbs takes a moment to taunt the crowd, then puts on a chinlock.

Punk gets back to his feet and trades strikes with Hobbs, before he is sent into the turnbuckle sternum first, ala Bret Hart.

During the commercial break, Hobbs continues to slam Punk’s face and chest on the ring apron. Finally, he rolls back into the wing and gets into an argument with referee Aubrey Edwards, distracting her so that HOOK can get a cheap shot in.

Hobbs continues to take advantage of Punk, much to the crowd’s dismay. The Powerhouse picks up the Pepsi-lover and puts him in a rib-breaking bearhug.

Punk throws some back elbows and begins to make his comeback, resulting in the typical “Yay/Boo” strike exchange, followed by a leg lariat and swinging neck breaker by Punk.

Following that, we get the jumping knee into the turnbuckle, followed by a clothesline from Punk. Then, channeling his inner-Macho Man, Punk takes to the top rope and nails a diving elbow drop. He goes for the pin but only gets a two-count.

Punk attempted a GTS but Hobbs counters it into a slam of his own, for a two-count. Now Hobbs is mad. He picks up Punk and attempts a pumphandle slam, but Punk reverses it into a sleeper hold. Hobbs then reverses THAT into a back suplex.

Hobbs hits Punk with his Stampede Slam, but Punk kicks out yet again and Hobbs is getting frustrated. He takes to the middle rope, but Punk follows and hits him with an elbow strike. Punk hits Powerhouse with the Frankensteiner, but it’s botched a little bit, resulting in Hobbs landing head-first on the mat. Not sure whose fault that was, but it was messy and scary.

Punk then locks Hobbs in a triangle choke, but we know how this goes. Hobbs lifts Punk up with a single arm and slams him back into the mat. Luckily, he seems to be okay after that Frankensteiner.

More ‘Boo/Yay’ strikes that Punk comes out on top from, followed by a roundhouse kick to Hobbs.

HOOK tried to interfere again, but Hobbs ran into him and then ran into a GTS.

Result: CM Punk wins by pinfall.

Rating: **/12

This match was fine. It was very slow, however. Obviously the outcome was never in doubt, but I don’t think this was the star-making match that many pegged it to be.

Our next match is scheduled to be SuperKliq (Adam Cole and The Young Bucks) taking on Christian Cage and the Jurassic Express. I’m confused as to why this isn’t the main event since Punk vs Hobbs wasn’t.

Super Kliq (Adam Cole, & The Young Bucks) vs. Christian & Jurassic Express

The Young Bucks and Adam Cole make their entrance and, if you didn’t know, it’s all about the BOOM.

We get a commercial break and I get to eat a handful of potato chips and chug a Red Bull. This is hard, you guys. And it’s about to get harder. Forgive me if my words can’t do this match justice. It’s sure to be a spot festival.

Christian and the Jurassic Express make their entrance after the commercial break and we’re about to get started ya’ll.

Christian and Adam Cole are starting us off. This is going to be a really good match.

NVM, Cole tagged Matt Jackson.

Still though.

Christian takes down Matt first and does some Scott Steiner-esque pushups on him, and then slaps the taste out of Matt’s mouth.  Matt, irritated, retaliates with some strikes and a Val Venis-esque hip gyration.  Christian nails a middle rope elbow drop for a two-count, and then tags in the Jungle Boy.

Jungle Boy hits a dropkick but is distracted by Cole. Matt tags Nick who tags Matt and so Jungle Boy grabs both of them, jumps off the top rope, and flips the Bucks of Youth out of the ring. Then he gives chase to Adam Cole which leads to a superkick right to the face.

Then Luchasaurus gets involved, taking out the Super Kliq, before being taken out by the group.  Jungle Boy is back in the ring against Adam Cole who puts him in a camel clutch, allowing the Young Bucks a chance to hit a double dropkick to his face, followed by their adorable cheek kissing move with Cole.

Jungle Boy and the Bucks have an awesome exchange full of sunset flips, followed by a hot tag to Luchasaurus. And boy, is he over brother. He gets the better of the Super Kliq  for a while, nailing a series of chokeslams, kip-ups, side kicks, and more. Nick and Adam Cole hit a double superkick, on Jungle Boy, and Christian. They attempt the More Bang For Your Buck, but Jungle Boy reverses it into a hurricanrana, Matt Jackson hits Jungle Boy with a superkick but JB hits a clothesline in retaliation. Then, all out bedlam breaks out and all six men trade blows in the ring.

Jungle Boy flips out of the ring onto Matt Jackson, but is hit with a superkick by Nick Jackson, who is speared by Christian, who is low-blowed by Matt Jackson. Whew.

Back in the ring, Adam Cole and Luchasaurus trade blows. Cole hits a shining wizard and hits the Panama Sunrise, followed by the BTE Trigger, followed by The Boom and that’s all she wrote folks. After four years apart, SuperKliq showed they haven’t missed a step.

Result: SuperKliq defeats Christian Cage and Jurassic Express

Rating: ***1/2

This was a great match from six very competent competitors. AEW would really benefit from a trios title. Adam Cole, thus far, has proven why he was the heartbeat of NXT for four years and there’s no doubt he’ll be the exact same thing in AEW.

Following the match, we get a preview of Rhodes to the Top which, to be honest, I’m actually looking forward to. I’m a big fan of Cody Rhodes’ suits.

Men of the Year (Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky) w/ Dan Lambert vs. Inner Circle (Chris Chris Jericho & Jake Hager)

Man, this crowd loves singing theme songs.

Chris Jericho and Scorpio Sky start things out, with the crowd solidly behind Jericho. Sky gets the first takedown, however. Jericho retaliates and takes Sky down and then gives the finger to Page in our second flip off of the evening. Jericho in control for a while before tagging in Hager. The crowd is…less into Hager. Sky tags in Page who is immediately hip tossed by Hager. Men of the Year get the advantage for a while. They beat on Jake Hager for just long enough for it to get a pop when he makes the hot tag to Jericho.

It wasn’t much of a pop, but it’ll do. Jericho tags in and hits a top rope axe handle smash on Sky. Jericho hits a lionsault for a two count and tags Hager back in.

The announcers do the segue from the first hour to the second hour of the show, ala WCW. Alas, we don’t get to have Eric Bischoff and Bobby Heenan on commentary this hour.

While Jericho is distracted, Sky gets a rollup on Hager for the surprise win! But Jericho and Hager throw Lambert into the ring and are about to give him his comeuppance, but then AMERICAN TOP TEAM enters the arena and surrounds the ring. Full disclosure, I don’t know any of these dudes, but it looks like Hager and Jericho are about to get their bums handed to them.

They did. Jorge Masvidal absolutely nailed Jericho with a running knee.

It’s like ten on two, and Jericho is bleeding from the forehead from Masvidal’s knee. It sure would be convenient if Jericho and Hager and a stable of their own to come to their rescue, wouldn’t it?

Result: Men of the Year defeat Chris Jericho and Jake Hager by pinfall.

Rating: *1.2

Meh. Nothing too memorable about this match. It was fine for what it was, and it’s clear that Page and Sky have a ton of untapped potential. But I could care less about the UFC crossover. I may be in the minority, though.

Hardy Family Office (HFO) vs. Santana, Ortiz, & the Lucha Bros.

Santana & Ortiz are getting that sweet, sweet hometown pop. It’s gang warfare as the two teams do battle, before the babyfaces clear the ring. Then, all four dive out of the ring onto their opponents in an absolutely beautiful display of symmetry.

This match is total chaos, but it’s a gorgeous kind of chaos. Things start to calm down when The Butcher counters a hurricanrana attempt from Rey Phoenix into a powerbomb. Matt Hardy threatens to cut Ortiz’ hair but Orange Cassidy comes out and makes a statement without uttering a single word.

BAck from commercial and Santana & Ortiz are taking it to The Blade. Private Party then tag in and exchange incredible tag moves with Ortiz & Santana, followed by the Lucha Bros.

Can I just say, Private Party is extremely underutilized. It’s easy to forget how great they are when they’re being dragged down by Matt Hardy’s silliness. The same can also be said of The Butcher & The Blade. Both teams deserve better.

Lucha Bros. hit the foot stomp piledriver on Marq Quen, who rolls into the Street Sweeper from Santana & Ortiz for the win.

Result: Lucha Bros. and Santana & Ortiz defeat HFO by pinfall

Rating: ***1/2

I think I liked this match even more than the SuperKliq match. All four teams are just so incredibly talented. I could watch any variation of them every single night and never get tired. Santana & Ortiz were super over, as were the Lucha Bros. Private Party needs

Following the match, Matt Hardy is angry at Orange Cassidy; so angry, in fact, that he challenges Cassidy to a Hair vs. Hair match. The only problem is, it’s Jack Evans whom he offers as tribute.

Sammy Guevara and Fuego Del Sol make their entrance to do Sammy’s sign shtick, but Miro interrupts them and attacks them both. Miro is manhandling both of them, which makes him look like a total BA. Miro throws Fuego off the stage and onto a table. Then he puts Sammy in the Game Over. And that is how you get a monster heel over.

Next up is a brief interview segment with Andrade El Idolo who challenges Pac to a rematch because he wants to win with honor.

Penelope Ford vs. Anna Jay

Anna Jay doesn’t even wait for Penelope to get to the ring before attacking her. Anna dominates the majority of the match. Anna Jay locked Penelope in the Queen’s Slayer late in the match, but Penelope backed her into the corner. The Bunny distracted the referee from the apron and tossed some brass knucks to Penelope Ford, who knocked out Anna Jay for the win.

Tay Conti made the save, but was outnumbered and she, too, was knocked out by the brass knucks. The rest of the HFO came out to stand guard, but Orange Cassidy and Kris Statlander came out. The odds didn’t look good until…

The Dark Order came out to back them up! Dark Order seems to be on the same page, thanks to Anna Jay. But wait, Evil Uno and Stu Grayson just aren’t ready to mend the fences quite yet. Perhaps it will take a cowboy to put them back together.

Result: Penelope Ford defeated Anna Jay by pinfall.

Rating: *

This segment was less about the match and more about the story. Unfortunately, the story ended up being the tension within the Dark Order and the ladies more or less took a back seat. AEW still struggles to tell compelling stories with their women. Hopefully it will start to get better.

Adam Cole vs Jungle Boy is announced for Dynamite next week and I can’t wait.

We get a little pre-match promo from Suzuki and Archer and Kingston and Mox. Kingston is fired up. This hometown boy is ready to go to war, and the main event is next!

Lil Uzi is in the crowd and I don’t care because I am old and out of touch.

Lights Out Match: Lance Archer & Minoru Suzuki vs Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley

Archer beat up the AEW Young Boys while Suzuki and the crowd FINALLY gets Kaze Ni Nare.

Kingston and Mox are out next and immediately bring the fight to their opponents. Kingston gets a tremendous reaction, being the hometown boy and all.

Suzuki passes a chair to Moxley and the two proceed to have a chair dual, that Suzuki gets the better of, before taking the fists to Kingston. The crowd chants ‘Eddie’ as he trades chops with Suzuki, who literally laughs them off.

It doesn’t take long before a table is introduced into the match and Eddie Kingston is subsequently introduced to the table. Then, Lance Archer beats up the AEW Young Boys some more.  Archer then chokeslams Jon Moxley from the ring apron to the outside of the ring, into the waiting arms of the AEW Young Boys.

Mox and Suzuki then trade blows some more, until Archer wraps a strap around Mox’s neck and literally hangs the former Dean Ambrose from the ring. Which seems like a perfect time to take a commercial break, I guess.

So, we’re back from commercial and luckily, Moxley did not die but his hands are now duct taped behind his back. It has become a handicapped match because Kingston is still out from the table spot, which seems weird because if he’s tough enough to survive AN EXPLODING RING, how come he can’t recover from a simple table spot?

Finally Kingston awakes but is immmediately taken out by Archer again. Now they’re back to beating on Mox. The crowd is losing its energy, which makes sense because this is the end of a very long night for them. I really think AEW should have ended with either the Punk match or the Super Kliq match. The lights didn’t need to be out for this match.

Kingston finally gets back in the ring and begins chopping Archer, who also laughs them off. So Kingston, ever the innovator, pokes him in the eyes. But then he, too, is overwhelmed by the pair.

I’m sorry, this match is boring. There’s no story, no energy, no reason to care, really.

And as soon as I said that, FREAKING HOMICIDE debuts!!!

Homicide makes the save and unties Mox’s hands. Kingston hits Archer with a spinning back fist, Mox hits him with the Paradigm Shift, and then Kingston puts him in a trash can and beats on with a kendo stick like he’s a member of STOMP. It’s enough to get the win though.

Result: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston defeated Minoru Suzuki and Lance Archer by pinfall.

Rating: **

I dunno, man. This match didn’t do it for me. I love Eddie Kingston and am a big fan of Mox. But this match was slow and plodding and just wasn’t for me. The show ends with the friends hugging it out.

And that was Rampage. The show definitely peaked early with the two main matches, but it was still better than anything you’d see on a Monday night. Thanks for joining me for the coverage. I’m gonna go re-watch Bryan Danielson vs. Kenny Omega. Goodbye and goodnight!