Rule of 3’s of Monday Night Raw 001: January 11, 1993

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the first-ever Monday Night Raw!  It’s been thirty years and 1550-plus episodes since we heard those words. How about let’s watch them all! This is going to take a while, isn’t it…?

Before the WWE was even a thought, the WWF brought professional wrestling into a bigger light than it had ever been before. The company took risks like WrestleMania to test the limits of sports entertainment.  The more success that Vince McMahon found, the more he pushed the company to grow even further. One of the biggest company-changing decisions that were made was the introduction of Monday Night Raw to weekly television in 1993. Since then, Raw has become one of the biggest shows on all of television. Now, 1550 plus episodes later, I am tasking myself to watch every episode of Monday Night Raw starting with the first episode on January 11th, 1993.

With 30 years of Raw to cover and more coming each and every week, I feel like I am going to be here for a while. That isn’t even included if I decide to do pay-per-views and SmackDown once they come around. To make this review series a little more fun, I will break down each episode into lists of 3s. The rule of 3’s is usually for survival and that works for a show that has survived this long. We will determine 3 things that the show did right, 3 things the show did wrong, and 3 things that I would have changed about the show. With no prior episodes of Raw to recap before this one, it’s time to start this journey back on January 11th, 1993.

The 3 Things That Worked

1. Bobby Heenan Recurring Segments

Monday Night Raw’s first segment in history began in the form of interviewer Sean Mooney outside the arena. He is soon interrupted by Bobby Heenan showing up for work.  Mooney is the one to inform him that had been replaced and barred from the arena. For the rest of the night, Heenan would dress up two times as his replacement Rob Bartlett‘s “Aunt” and “Uncle” trying to get in the show to see their nephew. The most entertaining part of the sketches was Heenan’s portrayal of Bartlett’s aunt.

He dressed the part, complete with a wig, earrings, and make-up. He even changed his voice but still ended up being caught in the act. While these segments throughout the show meant we had to deal with Bartlett for the night, Heenan was a highlight of the show. He was easily the funniest part of the show despite Bartlett’s best attempt to crack jokes and do impressions the entire night on commentary. While Bartlett was the supposed “funny man,” Heenan was the only one worth the laugh. However, we will get to Rob Bartlett soon and you will get tired of hearing his name.

2. Razor Ramon’s Interview

A true highlight of the show was an in-ring interview between Vince McMahon and Razor Ramon. Both were at the top of their game as it is easy to forget how great McMahon could be on commentary and in interviews. It comes as no surprise that he has a voice for the business but his only made Razor’s stand out even more. Scott Hall was in prime form as Razor and was in the middle of a feud with then WWF Champion Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

He was only days away from getting a shot for the world championship. Knowing that Scott Hall never was able to win a major world championship in his career, it is tragic to see what a star he was already becoming. He would have been a great world champion in either WCW or WWE. However, Hall earned his spot in the WWE Hall of Fame as the character due to his tremendous work in his short run as Razor Roman. He was only on the rise from this point but you could see already just how good he was in this interview.

3. Company Stars Defined

The one hour of show time that Raw had to work with is bizarre to see compared to the three hours of today’s standards. With the short time to work with, most of the matches were squash matches. Despite that fact, the superstars used to win those matches were chosen for good reason. The first match between Yokozuna and Koko B. Ware was a highlight to be a squash match. Unlike in many squash matches, Koko came out still looking strong despite losing the match. Koko gave his all but Yokozuna was built like an unstoppable beast. In the other two “squash” matches, The Steiner Brothers and The Undertaker had dominant showings.

The first came when The Steiners went against Daune Gill and Barry Hardy, who were under masks as a version of The Executioners. They made quick work of their opponents in three minutes and showed they were the team to beat in the company. In the main event, The Undertaker squashed Damien Demento in under two and a half minutes to show his dominant position in the company. In the best match of the night, Shawn Michaels showed he was ready to be the future of the company as the Intercontinental Champion despite the annoying commentary.

The 3 Things That Didn’t Work

1. Constant Squash Matches

While this was most likely an issue to time constraints, most of the matches we saw were short squashes as mentioned before. While it worked to build up those winners as those to watch, it didn’t build up any storyline or do much, if anything, for the losers of those matches. The only loser of the squash matches that came out looking alright was Koko B. Ware. As previously mentioned, he had a strong showing offensive-wise despite still being squashed by Yokozuna in right under four minutes, which was the second-longest match of the night.

Only one match went longer than four minutes the entire night. Even that match only took up ten and a half minutes. Altogether, the matches only took up about twenty minutes of the show. The rest of the show was filled with pre-taped promos and recaps besides the Razor interview. They could have easily made a little more time for the matches to give more talents a chance to shine. Instead, they only made the winners look good.

2. Rob Bartlett on Commentary

Let’s just face the facts from day one, Rob Bartlett wasn’t a good fit for the company. It is well known at this point that Bartlett had very limited of knowledge and honestly, care for the product. From the first moment he is on the screen, he starts to pop off corny jokes that haven’t aged well throughout the years at all. He made the first match with Yokozuna nearly unbearable since every sentence out his mouth was about the larger man’s weight. It was clear when he wasn’t simply cracking jokes that he didn’t know what to say.

He joked about not knowing which of The Steiner Brothers was who when it was likely not even a joke. He took away from matches to crack jokes and to make mediocre impressions of Mike Tyson during the only competitive match of the night. The only reason that Bartlett was involved with the show is because of his local popularity in the New York City area and his ability to make Vince McMahon laugh. However, he gave nothing to the show and took away from the matches due to his lack of care and outdated, and mostly, offensive jokes. It’s a shame that he will last as long as he will… bare with me.

3. Doink The Clown In General

I am not sure the approach that the company was looking to go with Doink The Clow but this wasn’t it. Like Bobby Heenan, Doink appeared throughout the show but it wasn’t funny or entertaining like Heenan. Doink was seen running around messing with the members of the crowd during the matches which is a huge way to disrespect the wrestlers in the ring. The commentary team even drew attention to the clown instead of The Steiners, who deserved the attention.

Doink threatened to also interrupt the best match of the show when he showed up between Shawn Michaels and Max Moon. Luckily, he was out of the scene soon enough to stay out of the match on-screen. The match couldn’t have probably survived through Doink’s interruption and the abysmal commentary of Bartlett. Doink was done for the night as he showed up yet again for an interview after the main event. While the segment was alright, it threw off the show completely and the “feud” between Crush and Doink isn’t sold at all. Way too much Doink for me…

The 3 Things I Would Have Changed

1. Kept Heenan on Commentary

While Heenan’s segments were fun throughout the show, including a pre-taped hype promo for “The Narcissist’s” debut, he would have been used better by keeping him on commentary. Heenan is one of the greatest wrestling commentators that the business has ever had. Instead of Heenan, we had to bare with listening to Bartlett, who I will no longer rant about. It was in the end the call of the man on commentary beside him’s decision and you can hear Vince’s annoyance throughout the show and this was only night one of him on commentary.

2. Meaningful Main Event Match

It doesn’t look good to have a squash main event match without a good story to follow it up with. The match seemed completely out of place and just placed there because they remembered that wrestling matches were meant to happen. After a lengthy Royal Rumble promo with pre-taped vignettes, we just arrive back to the live show to the unannounced and deranged appearance of Damien Demento. Afterward, The Undertaker made his way to the ring, which lasted nearly long as the match.

The Undertaker made quick work of Demento and made his name as the top “dog in the yard” that he would rule for years to come. As soon as he won the match, it was brushed aside and the show went ringside with Doink. The whole ending of the show felt rushed and confusing but that is understandable since this was their first show. However, they could have switched the Michaels and Moon match to the main event spot and it would have made the show run smoother. The show ending with Heenan being allowed into the show barely gave the show an alright ending.

3. Stop Max Moon From Happening

The best match of the show was Max Moon versus Shawn Michaels but the Max Moon character was dead on arrival. He walked out shooting streamers and firing fireballs into the air for fanfare. While it may have been a fun time for the kids, nobody was going to buy this… “superhero?” as a threat to the Intercontinental Champion, especially when the champion was on the line. Michaels and Moon did their best to give the fans a good match and they gave the only match that was actually competitive. The two men had similar styles and showed if given time could have had a stronger match together.

The man beneath the mask, Paul Diamond was nearly as quick as Michaels and gave a quick pace paced in a company that wasn’t quite ready for that style yet. Unfortunately, the commentary for the match was nearly non-existent. Vince McMahon did his best to do a three-man job by himself as viewers at home had to bare through Bartlett doing an ear-piercing impression of Mike Tyson. Despite all the obstacles that were placed on them, they put on an alright match. Diamond could have had a brighter future in the company if it weren’t for all the failed gimmicks that were forced on him.

The 3 Stars of The Show

1. Shawn Michaels/Max Moon Match

2. Razor Ramon Interview

3. Yokozuna/Koko B. Ware Match