Pro Wrestling EVE to hold retirement show in honour of Kris Wolf
By Laura Mauro
Last month women’s wrestling legend and meat connoisseur Kris Wolf sadly announced her retirement. Tears were shed around the world at the news that Wolf and her loyal companion Tito would be hanging up their boots.
Her retirement, though undoubtedly sad, is a necessary measure. Wolf stated that she had made the difficult decision in order to protect her health. Accumulated concussions have caused troubling symptoms, and she has rightly opted to put her wellbeing first.
But it would be wrong to let her go quietly. As all Kris Wolf fans will be aware, that’s just not her style. Fortunately, the GOAT of British wrestling Pro Wrestling EVE have stepped in to ensure that Wolf will receive the kind of raucous, noisy, wild and wonderful sendoff she truly deserves.
The catchily named “BRING ME YOUR MOMS: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. The Frantic Scramble In Search For Meaning Through A Mess Of Meaty Interactions” event (or TFSISFMTAMOMI for short) will be taking place on the 26th April at EVE’s Resistance Gallery home. EVE are promising “[…] our usual blend of death-defying, jaw dropping, action packed, theatrical wrestling stunts fueled with cabaret and comedy, this time with a large helping of Kris’ particular blend of bonkers.” What’s not to love?
It’s entirely fitting that Kris Wolf should be honoured in such a big way, and doubly so that it should be with Pro Wrestling EVE, where she has fast become one of the promotion’s most beloved and memorable performers. Her impact on women’s wrestling cannot be understated; her unique brand of offbeat comedy and whip-quick ringwork has truly made her stand out over the years, winning her a loyal legion of fans. Nobody cuts a promo like Kris Wolf cuts a promo.
EVE has become Kris Wolf’s home over the years, and it will be deeply emotional to say goodbye so publicly, in the company of so many equally devastated fans, watching her perform in the ring for the last time. But it need not be sombre. We can take heart in the fact that Wolf leaves wrestling happily married, surrounded by fans who love her, and most importantly, healthy. “We all know how we feel about Kris,” said EVE, upon announcing the event. “So let’s do this together once more with feeling on Friday April 26 at Resistance Gallery.”
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It’s going to be a special night. Tears will be shed. Boxes will be broken. Meat will be consumed. And most importantly, one of professional wrestling’s most beloved performers will be honoured in the way that most suits her: a festival of brilliant chaos.