WWE WrestleMania 37: Cursed full match card predictions expect the worst

WrestleMania Bearhug Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s been great to see Daniel Bryan back in action, and he’s had some instant classics as of late on SmackDown. There are plenty of exciting choices for him at WrestleMania, so the perfectly terrible pick would be to bring back Kane who returned and interacted with his former partner at the Royal Rumble.

Tack on an absurd stipulation, something like a WrestleMania Bearhug Match where you can only hug your opponent into submission, and you’ve got a perfect recipe for disaster. Daniel Bryan is small, so there’s no way he’d win this.

Cursed Winner Prediction: Kane wins via Bearhug

United States Championship Match: Matt Riddle (c) vs. AJ Styles

It honestly disappoints me that this is a match I would actively avoid watching. Going back a few years this would be an easy dream match for WrestleMania, but unfortunately these two revealed themselves as absolutely horrible human beings.

Pitting a homophobe and a sexual abuser against each other at WrestleMania with a title on the line and expecting fans to cheer for the sexual abuser is just exactly the kind of terrible thing WWE might do, so brace yourself because this is probably the most realistic match on this cursed card. Riddle would win, of course.

Cursed Winner Prediction: Matt Riddle retains the US Title

Infernal Viperfly House of Playground Horror: “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

Look, who knows what these three are gonna do? After Randy Orton burned “The Fiend” alive in their Firefly Inferno Match, we’ve seen The Viper stalked and supernaturally attacked by Alexa Bliss on a weekly basis.

The craziest course of action would be to see Wyatt return, but end up at odds with Bliss. This would lead to an absolutely chaotic and truly next level bad half-live half-cinematic trainwreck where Randy Orton somehow wins.

Cursed Winner Prediction: Randy Orton wins…however you win this