WWE Extreme Rules 2021: Sasha is back and everyone retains their title

WWE Extreme Rules!

Cue the ECW theme!

Wait. Nevermind. ECW is dead. Cue the PG-era theme.

Live from Columbus, OH. There is a sound problem as immediately you can hear the French and German commentators competing with the English.

Kick-off Match:

Liv Morgan pins Carmella

Note: Someone is holding a Daffney sign. Props.

WWE Extreme Rules: The New Day vs. AJ Styles, Omos, Bobby Lashley

Xavier Woods and AJ start it off. AJ goes old school with a roll-up leg lock. Kofi Kingston goes for the gut and face kicks. Big E gets tagged and the crowd goes wild. Big E levels AJ with a lariat. AJ tags in Lashley and he wants revenge.

Big E works over Lashley in the corner. Kofi does a springboard on Lashley to the outside. Omos and AJ meet the New Day on the outside. Lashley uses the moment to throw Kofi across the ring. Omos gets tagged in.

Omos continues the punishment on Kofi. Omos hits a massive frontplex on Kofi. AJ is in. Lashley Irish whips Xavier into the platforms and goes for the pin on Kofi, but Kofi kicks out. Xavier gets tagged in and knocks Lashley with a rolling elbow.

Xavier hits a springboard DDT and goes for the pin. Lashley and Xavier battle for supremacy in the corner. Big E comes to the rescue. Big E hits three suplexes on AJ and big squash. AJ reverses with a Pele kick and goes for a corner splash, but Big E turns it into a slam.

AJ goes for a springboard pin on Big E and Pele kick, but he can’t get the big man down. Kofi and Big E hit an elevated double stomp, but Lashley breaks up the pin. Lashley and Big E are alone in the ring. Lashley was going to do his finisher, but AJ tags himself in. AJ goes for a splash, while Lashley goes for the spear and they hit each other. Big E hits the Big Ending and gets the 3.

Winner: The New Day via Big E’s Langston finisher

Rating: * * * 1/2

A high energy match that was rich with spots. Lashley worked the hardest in that match. There’s a potential AJ versus Bobby Lashley feud coming. 

WWE Extreme Rules: The Street Profits vs. The Usos (c) (Smackdown Tag-Team Championship)

Angelo and Jimmy tie-up. Angelo starts with a major dropkick and a slam on Jimmy. Street Profits go for double clotheslines. Montez Ford has control over Jey until Jimmy gives him a rib kick. Jimmy slams the injured ribs of Montez into the apron lip.

Jey rips off the medical tape covering Montez’s ribs. Montez escapes a corner splash and tags in the fresh Angelo. Dawkins clears the ring with spinning corner splashes and lariats. Dawkins hits a massive body slam to Jimmy Usos on the outside. Dawkins goes for a pin after a superplex and a twisting neckbreaker, but only gets a 2. Dawkins and Ford hit an elevated blockbuster on Jimmy for another 2-count. Jey and Jimmy come back with a double team slam.

Montez Ford hits a blind tag and goes for the frog splash. Montez and Dawkins go for a second blockbuster, but Montez is in too much pain. Jimmy hits an Uso splash to retaliate on Dawkins, but only gets a 2-count.

The Usos go outside, but Montez hits a turnbuckle frontflip from the turnbuckle to the Usos and puts Jimmy in the ring for a splash. Only a 2-count. Montez goes for more nearfalls, but the Usos take him down a notch with a rib kick. The Usos hit a double superkick and a double Uso splash to retain the title.

Winner: The Usos via a double splash

Rating: * * * *

This match had some great nearfalls. Montez Ford did a good job telling the story of the injured ribs. Dawkins hit some impressive slams.

Backstage: Bobby Lashley calls Big E a coward and a chicken **** (I didn’t know you could swear in WWE PG-11 era?)

There’s a bunch of commercials for WWE gear, Crown Jewel, and The Draft. Do you remember when PPV’s were commercial free? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

WWE Extreme Rules: Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Alexa Bliss (Raw Women’s Title)

Someone’s Sign: A Goofy Movie is Filth.

Flair and Bliss stare each other down. The crowd chants for Bliss. Alexa hits a luchador spin into a dropkick. Alexa hits a somersault off the apron into Charlotte. Flair stops Alexa mid-jump with some heavy head slams and a whirling backbreaker.

Alexa breaks out of a submission with a jawbreaker. Charlotte answers back with a piggyback cradle submission. Alexa spins into a rana. Charlotte and Alexa trade slams and upset each other’s spots. Charlotte catches a baseball slide and turns it into a swinging head slam into the barricade. Only a 2-count.

Charlotte gets frustrated when she can’t get the win. Charlotte hits a moonsault and links it into a backflip splash. Flair hits a natural selection roll-up. Alexa reverses it into a pin. Charlotte picks her up mid-pin and slams her down. Charlotte goes for a second moonsault, but Alexa catches her with a boot. Alexa hits a sunset bomb, but only gets a 2-count.

Alexa struggles to get to the top of the rope. She misses a splash. Alexa hits a DDT, but Charlotte has her foot on the rope. Charlotte grabs Alexa’s doll, throws it at her, and hits her with a bootto the face. Charlotte has control with a Natural Selection and gets the 3-count. Charlotte retains.

Winner: Charlotte Flair wins via The Natural Selection.

Rating: * * *

Charlotte Flair and Alexa hit some amazing luchador moves that are impressive. The ending was a little silly, but the match before it was intense.

Charlotte throws Alexa out of the ring after the match and rips up her doll. Alexa goes UFC on Charlotte. Charlotte throws her over the commentary table and leaves. Alexa starts screaming and breaking stuff. She went to the Impact Knockout school of acting. She starts foaming at the mouth and you can see that she slipped an Alka-Seltzer in her mouth to perform said stunt. This segment goes on for too long.

More awful commercials that make me regret my $4.99 subscription to Peacock.

Backstage: Paul Heyman is talking about the draft. He is about to announce an amazing draft pick, but he instead gaslights Kayla Braxton. The Usos interrupt this segment and they and Heyman leave together.

WWE Extreme Rules: Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus vs. Damian Priest (c) (The United States Title)

Is it just me or does the US Title look cooler than the world title? Damian Priest goes a whole minute without WWE bringing up Bad Bunny (the next US champ?). Out of the gate, Sheamus hits a knee to Hardy. Damian drags Sheamus around the ring with clubbing blows.

Hardy jumps into the fray and knocks both guys out. Damian front flips onto Hardy from the ropes to the floor. Sheamus throws Damian into the ring post like a lawn dart. Sheamus hits a backbreaker on Hardy. Sheamus is in control. Damian counters some chest shots with his own chest shots (possibly botching a move) and Hardy slams into Sheamus like a bullet.

Hardy hits the classic double leg drop on Sheamus’ crotch. Damian Priest breaks up the pin. Hardy hits the corkscrew (whisper in the wind) on both Damian and Sheamus. Only a 2-count. Sheamus hits an Alabama slam for a 2-count on Hardy. Sheamus hits a cloverleaf submission on Hardy. Hardy grabs the ropes, but there is no DQ.

Damian and Sheamus exchange blows. Sheamus hits White Noise, but Hardy breaks up the pin. Damian goes for the reverse neckbreaker, but Jeff hits the downward spiral. Sheamus interrupts Hardy’s splash finish and hits his own knee drop on Priest. Priest kicks out at 2. Sheamus knocks Priest with a Brogue Kick. Damian catches him with a chokeslam. Hardy interrupts his pin with a Swanton Bomb.

The crowd is begging for Hardy to get the win. Damian and Hardy exchange blows. Priest goes for a springboard, but Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick on Priest. Sheamus is about to get a win with the Brogue Kick on Hardy, but Damian hits a schoolboy roll up for the win. Damian retains.

Winner: Damian Priest with a schoolboy roll-up

Rating: * * 3/4

This match was slower at the beginning and did not live up to its stipulation. Apparently, it was No DQ (was that important to the story). The only thing “No DQ” about this match was Jeff Hardy grabbing the ropes and the ref not counting it. Jeff Hardy served only as a bullet to break up the pins.

Some of the moves got botched and the ending was anti-climatic. A guy as big as Damian Priest deserves a win that makes him look like a powerhouse. Maybe he will get more respect when he teams with Bad Bunny.

Backstage: Big E says that Lashley is out of his mind. He challenges him to a match on Raw.

WWE Extreme Rules: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch (c) (Smackdown Women’s Champ)

The crowd is more into Becky than Bianca when she comes out. Bianca and Becky exchange blows and Bianca tries her finisher early to no avail. Becky catches a leapfrog and slams Bianca. Bianca escapes the Dis-Arm-Her. Bianca hits a scoop slam and a standing splash for 2. Bianca climbs to the second rope and taunts her rear end.

Becky charges like a bull, but Bianca hits a moonsault and a dropkick. Becky uses Bianca’s hair for a neckbreaker over the ropes. She only gets a 2 count. Becky has the upper hand with elbows and leg drops.

Bianca goes for a big body drop, but Becky uses Bianca’s hair to reverse it into her own slam. Becky hits an exploder suplex from the corner and gets a 2. Becky is selling anxiety that the crowd is not behind her. Bianca hits a suplex from a front cradle position. Bianca knocks around Becky with dropkicks and elbows and a vertical suplex combo.

Becky uses Bianca’s ponytail to Irish whip her, but she reverses it into a spinebuster. Bianca catches Becky and hits a Samoan slam. Becky has her foot on the ropes. Bianca gets Becky on the corner and Gorilla press lifts her. Becky breaks out of it with a roll-up. Becky hits her arm submission again, but Bianca has her foot on the ropes.

Becky pulls on Bianca’s hair again. Becky turns it into a slam into the steel steps. Becky goes for a top rope leg drop. Bianca kicks out at 2. Becky hits a second leg drop, but only gets 2. Bianca reverses a Manhandle Slam, but Becky reverses it into an arm submission. Bianca goes in for a basket slam and a 2 count.

Both women are dejected. More nearfalls between the women. Becky gets a third Dis-Arm-Her submission, but Bianca turns it into her K.O.D. Before she can hit it SASHA BANKS runs in and causes a DQ.

Winner: Becky Lynch by DQ from Sasha.

Rating: * * *

Some good back and forth between the women. I am impressed that moonsaults and ranas were incorporated. They were really building up that Bianca is a weightlifting beast with all her plexes and deadlifts. Sasha Banks adds some drama.

Becky Lynch gets near Sasha Banks, but Sasha spears her to the ground. Bianca enters the battle. Sasha knocks out Becky and Bianca with a backstabber. Sasha says, “I will see you this Friday.”

WWE Extreme Rules: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Finn Balor The Demon (WWE Universal Championship)

Roman Reigns comes out first even though he is the champion. They are really prepping for a grand demon entrance. Finn Balor gets a big pop as he comes out looking like a skinnier version of The Boogeyman. His entrance is cheesy because of the horrible CGI.

Roman uses his brute strength to push Finn into the ground, but Finn jumps back up. Finn rakes the eyes and back of Roman. Reigns hits a Samoan drop for the first pin attempt. Reigns goes under the ring to get a kendo stick.

Finn pulls out a bunch of kendo sticks duct-taped together. He lays the beating on Roman. Finn uses the ring apron as a weapon and stomps a mudhole into Roman. He knocks him loose with a running knee. Finn goes for a table, but Reigns Superman punches him.

Reigns puts the table away and yells, “no tables.” Reigns gets a steel chair and guts Finn repeatedly. Finn reverses a chair slam and stomps on Reigns’ chest. Finn goes for the table again. He gets it in the ring. Reigns dropkicks Finn’s head into the ring post. Roman throws him over the barricade.

Roman takes Finn on an audience tour, knocking him around. Romans throws Finn on the kick-off desk. Reigns goes for a Rock Bottom on the glass table, but Finn breaks out of it and splashes him through a different table. Finn pulls Roman back to the ring. Finn hits a reverse hammer blast on Roman.

Finn goes to set up the table, but Roman slams him through it. It is only a 2-count. Roman yells at the audience some more. Reigns goes for the Superman Punch, but Finn dodges it and hits a Pele kick. Reigns nails another Superman punch, but only gets a 2. Paul Heyman starts pumping up Roman Reigns.

He goes for the spear, but Finn hits a slingblade. Reigns hits a spear and nails it. Finn hits a low blow as his kick out for the pin. Finn is in control with a rolling flip on Reigns. He hits the double stomp finisher, but the Usos interrupt the pin and superkick Finn outside the ring. The Usos set up a table.

Finn fights out of a slam through the table and powerbombs Jey through the commentary table. Romans spears Finn through a barricade. The lights start blinking red and Finn Balor does a resurrection spot.

He starts nailing Reigns with a chair. He hits a double dropkick on Reigns and puts him through a table. Finn goes for his double stomp finisher, but the top rope snaps in half sending Finn to the ground. Roman Reigns hits another spear and gets the three count. Reigns retains.

Winner: Roman Reigns via a broken rope and a spear

Rating: * * * 1/4

This match is triple threat of cringe-worthy corniness, bone-breaking finishers, and cool furniture breaking effects. The match lived up to the PPV title. I thought Finn was going to be the new champ for a split-second and then I realized his whole bit involved bad CGI, lighting effects, and a Frankenstein trope. I can’t tell if Finn Balor’s Demon is a comedic character or a serious threat. I am leaning toward comedy. I have to say that the stars of the match were the amazing furniture that broke on impact. 

The commentators freak out about ring ropes snapping as the show closes.